(Untitled)

[sorrowswriting]

Welcome to the Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme! (#2)

How it works:

* Comment anonymously with a kinkfic request. All requests must contain a character or pairing/threesome/moresome (any combination of guys/girls/shinigami/whatever are OK, crossovers are fine too), and at least one kink. If you need inspiration, check out this huge list of kinks by eliade.

Comments

Kira, Sweetheart (pt 29)

[anonymous]

"Mr. Stalker? This is illegal! You have to stop!" shrieked the bound girl pitifully from within her cell.

L might have had more sympathy for her if not for the facts that 1) she had just tried to kill him and Light and 2) every time she opened her mouth it was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. Rem was, predictably, rather displeased upon seeing how Misa was tied up and let her displeasure with the situation be known with a long, drawn-out growl.

Hmmm… Mama Shinigami is angry.

"This is totally unnecessary! She no longer has the power!"

"…It could all be an elaborate ruse to make me think the notebook is the source of Kira's power…" L murmured, paranoid as usual.

The Shinigami gave L a look. "Misa… elaborate?"

L worried at his thumbnail but the creature had a point—those two words didn't belong together in the same sentence.

"Misa is smarter than most men give her credit for but I'm afraid she isn't that smart. She isn't your Kira."

My Kira

L smiled to himself as he remembered how Light looked with mussed hair and flushed cheeks and quickly shook his head to dispel the images. He had work to do—though his work was gratifying in its own way.

L clicked on the microphone.

"Misa Amane…"

"Oh, is that you, Mr. Stalker?"

L stared at the psycho girl in disbelief. I'm the stalker?

"Please let me out, I'll even give you a kiss on the cheek if you want!"

Misa couldn't see L's look of disdain seeing how Misa was blindfolded and L was questioning her from his comfy armchair in another room. The detective made a face like he was being forced to whole-grain oatmeal again. "That is not necessary. Misa Amane. Do you know why I'm detaining you here?"

"Because I'm a celebrity obviously!" chirped the blonde.

"You don't think attacking two unarmed men with a knife might have something to do with it?"

"That was self-defense! Some nasty perv was raping my boyfriend!"

L frowned and wordlessly exchanged a glance with Rem. The monster grimaced in embarrassment and discomfort. Kira memories or no it seemed Misa Amane had long ago said 'bye-bye' to reality.

"Are you referring to Light Yagami?"

Misa brightened considerably at the mention of her obsession's name. "Yes! Let me see Light!"

"Who has never met you before—"

"What? No! He's my boyfriend!" Misa insisted.

"…you attacked him with a butcher knife?"

"No! That's not true! Misa would never hurt Light! It was the nasty perv's doing! Light! Let me see Light! Light!"

L frowned at that. She's not supposed to remember… I suppose—this is the moment of truth. The test to see just how much Misa remembered… "Now… Misa Amane, we've met before…"

"You really are my stalker, aren't you?" the blonde demanded.

"No Misa. I am not your stalker, though you seem to have mistaken me for one." L turned off the voice filter. "Do you recognize the sound of my voice? Do you know who I am?"

Misa thought about it for a minute, her face appeared to be scrunched up in concentration… or constipation—it was hard to tell which, seeing as Misa seemed to come from that set of actors who over-act in real life—as evidenced by the way Misa's whole body jolted in her seat when she had the sudden epiphany. "Oh! MY! GOD! YOU'RE THE PERVERT!"

"I don't think I'm a pervert…" L muttered in weak protest.

Well at least it seems she doesn't remember my name. Or no doubt she would be screaming it. Speaking of screaming

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LIGHT?! LET ME OUT OR I'LL SCREAM!"

L swiftly killed the sound as Misa made good on her threat and marveled how the girl's shrill voice shattered the lens of the monitoring camera. (Luckily there were many backup cameras hidden in the walls that were better protected so the suspect would continue to be monitored in case she tried to falsely claim abuse later.)

"Misa Amane…" L began again after Misa had screamed herself hoarse.

Misa whimpered in response. "You're going to rape me too now, aren't you?"

L rolled his eyes. "No Misa, unlike someone I could name I've never forced myself on anyone… especially not the mentally challenged…"

Kira, Sweetheart (pt 30)

[anonymous]

"Wha—So now you're calling me stupid?!"

"Yes. And even if you were willing and could give consent… I don't find you the least bit attractive."

The blonde made a miffed, disbelieving sound as if she found the notion that someone could resist her buxom charms utterly inconceivable. "Wha—why the hell not?!" L mused that if she wasn't tied to a chair she'd be stamping her foot in indignation right about now.

"You're very annoying." L replied. As if to prove that point Misa screamed at him again, this time in rage. "I assure you, I would never want to touch you in the ways you are suggesting."

"That I…? Pervert!"

Was this productive? No. Was it satisfying? Hell yes. The detective never claimed not to be childish.

"Let me see my boyfriend, you stupid pervert!" shrieked the blonde.

"And which boyfriend would that be?"

"You know which one, you pervert!"

"Which one? Just how many boyfriends do you have? And are all of them battered men?" L mused it might just be his civic duty to start support groups for all of Misa's victims.

"JUST LIGHT, YOU PERVERT!"

"Now would this be the Light Yagami that told you 'to go to hell you crazy bitch' when you declared him your boyfriend?"

"SHUT UP! You must have done something to him!" Misa shrieked. "YOU… PERVERT!"

"You're really attached to that word, aren't you? Very uncreative. You might want to invest in a thesaurus… no, before you ask it's not a kind of dinosaur." L casually informed her. Just then he heard the Shinigami growl again. It seemed that Rem had put up with L's "questioning" long enough.

"Stop it, Lawliet! This is hurting her!"

"Yes, I suppose I've learned what I needed to know." L winced when he didn't kill the sound fast enough and worried that her high-pitched shrieking might have just split his ear drums. After turning off the mike, the detective immediately whirled on the Shinigami, addressing it with a most accusatory tone (and effectively going on the offensive) "You told me she doesn't remember anything!"

Rem seemed taken aback by this effrontery. "She doesn't remember being the Second Kira or any of the murders she committed with the Death Note. However, even though she no longer remembers any of that her feelings still remain. She still loves Light Yagami and she still hates you for coming between them."

"She doesn't love him! She doesn't even know him! No one knows him like I do! I mean—er…" Crap, did I just say that out loud? It seems Misa's stupidity is catching. L analyzed his own actions and quickly came to the unsettling conclusion that he was jealous. "He's still a mystery to me," the detective finished lamely.

Of course L noticed the Shinigami's flash of amusement at his slip… and the triumphant gleam in her eyes. "My offer still stands. Help save Misa and I will help you save him."

Believe it or not L came away from his little talk with Misa relieved.

It's the same. The core of her personality hasn't changed—and her feelings haven't changed. Then if we do this… then Light should be the same person I've come to know—just minus being a serial killer. L abruptly turned to the Shinigami. "Alright Rem. I'm ready to bargain, but first what exactly do you mean by "save Misa?""

Rem glared at him as if he was stupid. "I want you to release her! I don't want her to suffer and I want her to lead a happy life."

L sighed. "Rem-sama, the girl is clearly unbalanced even without the notebook. If I just freed her as you want me to in all likelihood she'd resume stalking Light Yagami and when he doesn't return her affections she's likely to kill herself soon afterwards."

"What about Light Yagami?" the creature pressed.

L hid his anxiety by worrying his thumb nail again. "What about him?"

"You're his friend, aren't you? Don't you want him to be happy? Can't you get him and Misa… She loves him. Misa can never be happy without him!"

Kira, Sweetheart (pt 31)

[anonymous]

"Oh, sure she can. But first of all, just so we're clear on this—Light is mine, I have no intention of sharing, and even beyond that if you were to force Light and Misa together when he has no interest in her and is not capable of loving her in return they would never be happy together. In fact, I'm sure that would make them both miserable." L watched in bemusement at how the creature's spiky, bony shoulders slumped in defeat. "However, there is some good news to all this—considering how quickly Misa pair-bonded with Light when she doesn't even know him suggests that it should be easy enough to transfer her obsession to a new target." L took a moment to compulsively fiddle with his fingers as he let Rem digest that information before he continued. "Alright… so this is how it's going to be. Now, I can't promise that Misa won't suffer. In case you haven't noticed—suffering defines life as a human. Please be realistic. If she wasn't suffering she'd be dead." Rem began snarling at that and the detective threw up his hands in a placating gesture. "However I can work to make things go well for her. Here's the plan. I will have Misa committed to a mental institution but to the public Misa will just disappear in secret. This will generate interest in what had happened to her. It will help her career as well as minimize the stigma. When interest is at its peak I will let it leak out that she had a post traumatic episode from her parents being killed in front of her, and from being attacked by a stalker and that she then acted out the same scene on someone else. This will generate sympathy. Her fans will love it. Then when she gets out she will be very popular and her career will be in high demand. They will plead to have her on talk shows, she'll have a book deal, and people begging her for the movie rights. And while Misa stays at the asylum she will be cared for and she will have friends… even if I have to pay them. And I'll help her find a suitable match as well."

"When will Misa be released?" Rem demanded.

"I cannot give you a timeline when she will be out. The mental hospital isn't like prison. It's entirely depending on her behavior if she has more or less freedom and it's ultimately up to the doctors when they want to release a patient. I'll monitor the situation closely and I'll do everything in my power to make her happy while she receives treatment. But you should realize no matter what actions I take, she's going to suffer. But this is the only way she'll ever get better. Even without the Death Note to warp her mind she is still very disturbed—she's clearly been traumatized by the death of her parents. Please, Rem-sama, this is her best shot at happiness—so let's help each other."

"And Light? Even if they can't be… I know it would make her happy to see him."

L sighed. "Provided it isn't harmful to Misa's mental state Light and I will visit her—but that's a big IF. Again it's up to Misa and it's up to the doctors and, most importantly, it's up to Light. She stabbed him, remember? I wouldn't blame him if he's not too keen on visiting her right now. In fact if I were him I'd take a long time to warm up to her after something like that. And even if he does agree, if Misa becomes violent or if our presence negatively impacts her mental state we will discontinue the visits unless the doctors advise otherwise. We probably won't visit often. Again, understand that this is for Misa's sake—she won't get a chance to recover from her obsession if we keep baiting her with her fixation. Please understand Rem-sama, there are only so many factors that even I can control but I will make you this deal—if you can convince Ryuk not to kill Light and that it would be far more entertaining to leave Kira to me then I will make sure that Misa gets the best treatment available."

Rem seemed to consider and concluded that yes, this really was for the best—and the best Misa could for.

"Alright. But I too can't make any promises. Ryuk is very fickle and he wants to be entertained."

Kira, Sweetheart (pt 32)

[anonymous]

L frowned. It sounded like Ryuk was easily bored and, unlike Rem who was a creature of conscience, there was nothing to stop Ryuk from reneging on his deal later—just for shits and giggles. Now what could keep the Shinigami occupied for the rest of their lives if the Shinigami realm was as boring as Rem had described it and most of the creatures just sat around playing games…? L was struck by a sudden epiphany as he suddenly recalled one of his successors… that one guy! What's his name? Third in line. Always wearing that striped shirt, always a victim of Mello's hair dye pranks… What was it? Matt or something…?

He said something about

"Rem-sama… do you think Ryuk might be interested in playing a different game?"

***

With help from Rem and Ryuk L had Wedy retrieved the notebook from Light's bedroom but that was only after a damned close call

"Oi, Ryuk-sama!" L addressed the new monster that was shadowing him in his most mocking, irritating tone of voice. "Why didn't you tell Rem-sama about the exploding desk drawer?"

The Shinigami cackled in response—it was a grating, gutteral sound, reminiscent of a raven that had just alighted on a fresh corpse and was about to pluck its eyes out. "You didn't ask!"

L scowled. Cheeky monster. He must've driven Light insane.

"…Provided you leave Light, myself, the Yagami family, the taskforce, all the people in my employ and affiliated with me, the Japanese police, and Misa alone…" L didn't want to leave any loopholes. "Better yet, don't kill any humans for the next hundred and fifty years. That ought to cover it. Do this for me and all these apple orchards will be yours to feed from at any time. So, Ryuk-sama, do we have a deal?"

The Shinigami pouted "I don't know. It'll be awfully boring without Light..."

"Ryuk-sama—have you ever played video games before?"

L soon discovered that Ryuk did indeed know what video games were—the detective felt a grin tugging at his lips. As morbid as it all was the thought of Light and the monster playing Super Mario Bros. together made for an amusing image.

"What kind of game?" The monster asked excitedly.

The detective gave the monster his cute, earnest smile which he used to convince police officers he was totally trustworthy and most definitely not the creep they perceived him to be. "It's called Everquest."

So L introduced Ryuk to MMORPGs and Ryuk was kept occupied for the next hundred years.

(TBC)

Re: Kira, Sweetheart (pt 32)

[anonymous]

You know they call it "Evercrack" for a reason lol