Say It Out Loud (11/12)
Pairing: Liam/Zayn
Word Count: this chapter, 2254
Rating: NC17
based off this prompt
i dont know much about these kinds of operations so it is quite vague but anyhoo, enjoy!
On April 16th, Liam paces his flat nervously, glancing out the window every two seconds for any sign of Zayn’s car.
He is late. Zayn is never late.
Liam balls his fists repeatedly and looks at his phone for the millionth time. He had received a good luck text from his parents at a ridiculous hour that morning. Not that he had been able to sleep anyway.
Finally, five minutes past the time he had promised, Zayn pulls up outside Liam’s house. Liam folds his arms across his chest and taps his foot angrily when he hears the door handle turn. Zayn pokes his head in and smiles at Liam in excitement. Liam forgets his anger immediately at the sight and stalks over to Zayn, wrapping his arms around him tightly.
‘Before we leave, there is something you should know’ Zayn looks guilty and Liam’s gut wrenches in anticipation.
Zayn walks over to the window and points out through the glass. Liam stands behind him and looks over his shoulder.
Louis is sitting on the bonnet of the car, attempting to play Niall’s guitar. Harry is laughing at him, loudly; Liam is surprised he didn’t hear his laugh before he saw the boy. Niall is sitting on the path, devouring an ice cream and eying the guitar in Louis’ hands warily.
Zayn glances over his shoulder and smiles sheepishly at Liam.
‘Louis was adamant that they come too’
Liam smiles at that, he is actually glad they are all making the journey together. Zayn’s family had wanted to come but Zayn didn’t want the fuss, they were going to make the trip down when his operation was done.
“The more the merrier” Liam says and wraps his arms around Zayn again to press a kiss against his lips. Before the kiss can deepen, they hear Harry cat-calling from outside the window and Liam’s phone buzzes in his pocket.
Stop having sex against the window and hurry up or Zayn will be late xxx
Liam laughs and shows Zayn Louis’ text and then files the idea of window sex away for later.
‘Let’s go’
Liam takes in a nervous breath and grabs Zayn’s hand which he notices is sweaty. He leads him out to the car. Niall and Harry stand up from the path and brush their jeans down.
They all share a silent look. One that reads a thousand words of support and love. They hop in the car and Zayn pulls off towards the motorway.
~~
The car journey was one Liam won’t be forgetting in a hurry. They had to stop seven times for Harry and Niall to use the bathroom. They missed an exit and nearly ended up driving to Scotland before Louis screeched and shoved the map in Zayn’s face, thus nearly causing a horrible accident on the motorway.
The hospital in London is way fancier than the ones Zayn had been in before. It was huge too and Liam made note to keep a close eye on the ever wandering friends by his side. Zayn had his own room thankfully and the boys all piled in, watching as the nurse did a routine check up on Zayn.
“Nice to see you’ve got a lot of support” she says slowly so Zayn can read her lips. She nods a head towards the lads who are all laughing hysterically as Niall blows up one of the doctor’s gloves and pretends it is a cow’s udders.
Zayn snorts and smiles gratefully at her. She leaves the room shortly after; happy with Zayn’s current health. She had left a hospital gown on the bed for Zayn to change into whenever he was ready.
Before Harry can start messing around with the oxygen mask hanging beside Zayn’s bed, the doctor strolls in. Everyone snaps to attention and falls into place at the side of Zayn’s bed. Liam clutches Zayn’s hand and patiently waits to hear what the doctor has to say.
“Hello Mr Malik… and company” he greets them with a warm smile over the rim of his glasses. Everyone gives a mumbled welcome and Louis’ fidgeting has the bed shaking slightly.
“Everything appears to be running smoothly so you should be on your way to theatre in about twenty minutes. We have to shave the side of your hair in order to put the device in, I hope that is ok with you.”
The doctor is talking fast so Niall helps translate for Zayn, causing the doctor to blush apologetically. Zayn nods once Niall is done and runs a hand through his hair subconsciously, Liam knows it will kill Zayn to have anything done to his hair.
“As you know, once the operation is over and you wake up, you will immediately start your therapy. In four weeks, maybe even three, everything should be healed up and you will be brought in again for another test and to activate the implant. That is when we will finally be able to see if this all worked”
He finishes with another kind smile and everyone sucks in a nervous breath at his words. Zayn nods his head; he knows all of this anyway.
For the next fifteen minutes, the boys all chat excitedly, fidget nervously and make as many bad jokes as possible; all a filler for the tension hanging in the air. Zayn slips off to the bathroom to change into his gown, something that makes Louis nearly dance in delight.
“Nice arse” he says about ten times, even though Zayn’s arse is perfectly covered by his boxers.
“Well done Liam, if I had known Zayn had an arse like that” Louis starts and receives a sharp elbow in the ribs from both Liam and Harry.
“What are you elbowing me for?” Louis snaps at Harry and rubs his ribs with a sour expression. Harry blushes and just sticks his tongue out in response.
The nurse returns with the necessary equipment to put Zayn under general anaesthetic.
“Ok Zayn, are you ready?” she asks and he looks around at all of them.
Louis squeezes Zayn’s knee, Harry just nods at him reassuringly and Niall looks like he is about to cry when he smiles at Zayn in encouragement.
Liam holds his hand in what he is sure in an iron grip. Zayn looks at him last and his eyes dance with a hundred different emotions.
“He is ready” Liam whispers, not taking his eyes off Zayn.
“Ok, once I inject this into him, can you get him to start counting backwards from one hundred?” the nurse asks quietly, clearly feeling like she is invading the intense staring match between the two.
Liam nods his head and Zayn’s fingers twitch when the nurse gently pierces the inside of his elbow with the needle. Liam lets go of Zayn’s hand and tells him to count down. Zayn starts at one hundred and by the time he reaches 96 his eyes start to droop and he is out for the count by 93.
There is a silence in the room when he is finally asleep. The nurse starts to release the breaks on his bed to wheel him towards the theatre.
Zayn looks so small in the bed; so vulnerable. His eyelashes splay across his cheekbones and his lips are parted as he breathes heavily in his induced sleep. Liam wants to dive on top of him and hold him until it is over. Instead, he lets the nurse wheel his boyfriend out of the room and towards the operating theatre.
Liam can’t help it. He breaks down in tears, suddenly afraid for Zayn as all the worries revolving around the operation attack his thoughts. He is pretty sure it is Niall who guides him towards the chair in the corner of the room.
“It’s ok mate, he is going to be just fine”
~~
After four hours, Liam is nearly pulling his hair out from nerves.
“Its ok, settle down, they say it can take up to five hours” Louis says, watching as Liam paces the room and bites his cuticles.
“What if something went wrong?”
“We would know about it” Niall says, trying in vain to open a bottle of coke which seems to be tightly secured.
Liam holds out his hand to open the bottle absent-mindedly, he does not even notice when some of it fizzes over his hand.
“Yeah but-“
Harry gives a rather loud snore from his position in the chair and interrupts Liam’s worried tirade.
Before Liam can start again, the nurse walks into the room with a small smile on her face. Immediately the three boys move into her personal space.
“Calm down” she laughs and Harry finally stirs, sitting up at the sight of his friends crowding around her.
“Everything went well, the operation was a success”
Liam nearly whoops with joy. Louis and Niall grab each other and start dancing around the room, joined by Harry when they pass his chair. The nurse laughs at them fondly and takes Liam outside the room, away from the loud hoots.
“He will be brought back up in a few minutes, he might want some peace” she says quietly, nodding towards the room where a sudden crash sounds.
Liam laughs, one where his eyes crinkle and his whole body reacts positively.
“It will be fine” he assures her and runs back into the room to find Harry guiltily picking up medical equipment off the floor.
Liam makes a quick phone call to Zayn’s mother, to tell her Zayn is out of the theatre. They react much like Liam and the others had and tell Liam they are on their way.
Soon enough, a new nurse wheels the still asleep Zayn into the room. Unsurprisingly, everyone crowds around the bed. He is hooked up to a machine of some sort and a drip and he looks paler than usual. The right side of his head is shaved. Liam and Niall lean over to look and spot the implant at the side of his head and around his ear. It looks strange and out of place, it will take some getting used to.
“What’s it like?” Louis asks and swats Harry’s hand as he prods Zayn’s face.
Liam shrugs. “OK I guess”
They all natter quietly over Zayn and don’t even realise he has woken up. When Harry and Niall are in a particularly loud debate over whether Zayn will shave all his hair off or not, a hand rises from the bed and everyone shuts up.
“Are you ok?”
“HELLO”
“Zayn are you going to shave off your hair?”
Zayn waves his hand to quieten them and Liam just stares at him with wide, nervous eyes.
“Are you ok?” Louis asks again, this time with his hands as Zayn seems to be struggling to open his eyes wide enough to lip read.
Zayn nods his head and licks his lips, signalling towards the bottle of water on his bedside locker which Harry quickly hands over. After a long drink Zayn finally wakes up a little more and offers them all a smile.
‘I feel a bit groggy but other than that, I am ok’ he signs and reaches for Liam’s hand.
‘And no, I will never shave my hair’ he adds and they all snigger with laughter and sit down, relaxed now that Zayn is back amongst them.
~~
It has been three weeks. Three weeks of intense therapy sessions and nervous check-ups.
Zayn shows no sign of being able to hear yet but every time he so much as coughs Liam breaks out in a sweat, thinking it is Zayn speaking for the first time.
Due to appointment, Zayn and Liam find themselves back in the hospital, funnily in the same room as last time.
‘What if I have to wait another week, I’ll go out of my mind’ Zayn admits, scratching at the implant in the side of his head like he usually does.
‘I bet you won’t’ Liam tries to reassure him but both their legs are jiggling nervously and both nearly jump out of their skin when the doctor walks into the room.
He greets them warmly, asks questions like how was your day, things that seem trivial in comparison to what may be about to happen.
He brings out a long rod, informs them that it is a magnetic device and what will soon activate the implant, hopefully allowing Zayn to hear.
Zayn sits at the edge of the bed and Liam sits in the chair directly in front of him, hand digging into Zayn’s knee.
“Ok, I’m going to activate it now” the doctor announces and brings the rod up to Zayn’s right ear.
Liam holds in a breath and watches Zayn do the same. The air is thick and Liam’s stomach feels like a mini tornado is attacking it.
When the doctor lowers his arm, he stands back behind Liam’s chair and watches Zayn intensely. You could hear a pin drop in the room and Liam nearly screams out of nervousness. He watches Zayn carefully. His eyes are set on Liam and he is watching him expectantly. Liam can tell he is terrified, he won’t speak, and he can’t. It is up to Liam to check has it worked.
Everything is up to Liam right now.
He licks his lips nervously, making sure his mouth is not too dry where he won’t be able to speak and grips onto Zayn’s knees with both hands.
“Zayn?”
//
part 12
Word Count: this chapter, 2254
Rating: NC17
based off this prompt
i dont know much about these kinds of operations so it is quite vague but anyhoo, enjoy!
On April 16th, Liam paces his flat nervously, glancing out the window every two seconds for any sign of Zayn’s car.
He is late. Zayn is never late.
Liam balls his fists repeatedly and looks at his phone for the millionth time. He had received a good luck text from his parents at a ridiculous hour that morning. Not that he had been able to sleep anyway.
Finally, five minutes past the time he had promised, Zayn pulls up outside Liam’s house. Liam folds his arms across his chest and taps his foot angrily when he hears the door handle turn. Zayn pokes his head in and smiles at Liam in excitement. Liam forgets his anger immediately at the sight and stalks over to Zayn, wrapping his arms around him tightly.
‘Before we leave, there is something you should know’ Zayn looks guilty and Liam’s gut wrenches in anticipation.
Zayn walks over to the window and points out through the glass. Liam stands behind him and looks over his shoulder.
Louis is sitting on the bonnet of the car, attempting to play Niall’s guitar. Harry is laughing at him, loudly; Liam is surprised he didn’t hear his laugh before he saw the boy. Niall is sitting on the path, devouring an ice cream and eying the guitar in Louis’ hands warily.
Zayn glances over his shoulder and smiles sheepishly at Liam.
‘Louis was adamant that they come too’
Liam smiles at that, he is actually glad they are all making the journey together. Zayn’s family had wanted to come but Zayn didn’t want the fuss, they were going to make the trip down when his operation was done.
“The more the merrier” Liam says and wraps his arms around Zayn again to press a kiss against his lips. Before the kiss can deepen, they hear Harry cat-calling from outside the window and Liam’s phone buzzes in his pocket.
Stop having sex against the window and hurry up or Zayn will be late xxx
Liam laughs and shows Zayn Louis’ text and then files the idea of window sex away for later.
‘Let’s go’
Liam takes in a nervous breath and grabs Zayn’s hand which he notices is sweaty. He leads him out to the car. Niall and Harry stand up from the path and brush their jeans down.
They all share a silent look. One that reads a thousand words of support and love. They hop in the car and Zayn pulls off towards the motorway.
~~
The car journey was one Liam won’t be forgetting in a hurry. They had to stop seven times for Harry and Niall to use the bathroom. They missed an exit and nearly ended up driving to Scotland before Louis screeched and shoved the map in Zayn’s face, thus nearly causing a horrible accident on the motorway.
The hospital in London is way fancier than the ones Zayn had been in before. It was huge too and Liam made note to keep a close eye on the ever wandering friends by his side. Zayn had his own room thankfully and the boys all piled in, watching as the nurse did a routine check up on Zayn.
“Nice to see you’ve got a lot of support” she says slowly so Zayn can read her lips. She nods a head towards the lads who are all laughing hysterically as Niall blows up one of the doctor’s gloves and pretends it is a cow’s udders.
Zayn snorts and smiles gratefully at her. She leaves the room shortly after; happy with Zayn’s current health. She had left a hospital gown on the bed for Zayn to change into whenever he was ready.
Before Harry can start messing around with the oxygen mask hanging beside Zayn’s bed, the doctor strolls in. Everyone snaps to attention and falls into place at the side of Zayn’s bed. Liam clutches Zayn’s hand and patiently waits to hear what the doctor has to say.
“Hello Mr Malik… and company” he greets them with a warm smile over the rim of his glasses. Everyone gives a mumbled welcome and Louis’ fidgeting has the bed shaking slightly.
“Everything appears to be running smoothly so you should be on your way to theatre in about twenty minutes. We have to shave the side of your hair in order to put the device in, I hope that is ok with you.”
The doctor is talking fast so Niall helps translate for Zayn, causing the doctor to blush apologetically. Zayn nods once Niall is done and runs a hand through his hair subconsciously, Liam knows it will kill Zayn to have anything done to his hair.
“As you know, once the operation is over and you wake up, you will immediately start your therapy. In four weeks, maybe even three, everything should be healed up and you will be brought in again for another test and to activate the implant. That is when we will finally be able to see if this all worked”
He finishes with another kind smile and everyone sucks in a nervous breath at his words. Zayn nods his head; he knows all of this anyway.
For the next fifteen minutes, the boys all chat excitedly, fidget nervously and make as many bad jokes as possible; all a filler for the tension hanging in the air. Zayn slips off to the bathroom to change into his gown, something that makes Louis nearly dance in delight.
“Nice arse” he says about ten times, even though Zayn’s arse is perfectly covered by his boxers.
“Well done Liam, if I had known Zayn had an arse like that” Louis starts and receives a sharp elbow in the ribs from both Liam and Harry.
“What are you elbowing me for?” Louis snaps at Harry and rubs his ribs with a sour expression. Harry blushes and just sticks his tongue out in response.
The nurse returns with the necessary equipment to put Zayn under general anaesthetic.
“Ok Zayn, are you ready?” she asks and he looks around at all of them.
Louis squeezes Zayn’s knee, Harry just nods at him reassuringly and Niall looks like he is about to cry when he smiles at Zayn in encouragement.
Liam holds his hand in what he is sure in an iron grip. Zayn looks at him last and his eyes dance with a hundred different emotions.
“He is ready” Liam whispers, not taking his eyes off Zayn.
“Ok, once I inject this into him, can you get him to start counting backwards from one hundred?” the nurse asks quietly, clearly feeling like she is invading the intense staring match between the two.
Liam nods his head and Zayn’s fingers twitch when the nurse gently pierces the inside of his elbow with the needle. Liam lets go of Zayn’s hand and tells him to count down. Zayn starts at one hundred and by the time he reaches 96 his eyes start to droop and he is out for the count by 93.
There is a silence in the room when he is finally asleep. The nurse starts to release the breaks on his bed to wheel him towards the theatre.
Zayn looks so small in the bed; so vulnerable. His eyelashes splay across his cheekbones and his lips are parted as he breathes heavily in his induced sleep. Liam wants to dive on top of him and hold him until it is over. Instead, he lets the nurse wheel his boyfriend out of the room and towards the operating theatre.
Liam can’t help it. He breaks down in tears, suddenly afraid for Zayn as all the worries revolving around the operation attack his thoughts. He is pretty sure it is Niall who guides him towards the chair in the corner of the room.
“It’s ok mate, he is going to be just fine”
~~
After four hours, Liam is nearly pulling his hair out from nerves.
“Its ok, settle down, they say it can take up to five hours” Louis says, watching as Liam paces the room and bites his cuticles.
“What if something went wrong?”
“We would know about it” Niall says, trying in vain to open a bottle of coke which seems to be tightly secured.
Liam holds out his hand to open the bottle absent-mindedly, he does not even notice when some of it fizzes over his hand.
“Yeah but-“
Harry gives a rather loud snore from his position in the chair and interrupts Liam’s worried tirade.
Before Liam can start again, the nurse walks into the room with a small smile on her face. Immediately the three boys move into her personal space.
“Calm down” she laughs and Harry finally stirs, sitting up at the sight of his friends crowding around her.
“Everything went well, the operation was a success”
Liam nearly whoops with joy. Louis and Niall grab each other and start dancing around the room, joined by Harry when they pass his chair. The nurse laughs at them fondly and takes Liam outside the room, away from the loud hoots.
“He will be brought back up in a few minutes, he might want some peace” she says quietly, nodding towards the room where a sudden crash sounds.
Liam laughs, one where his eyes crinkle and his whole body reacts positively.
“It will be fine” he assures her and runs back into the room to find Harry guiltily picking up medical equipment off the floor.
Liam makes a quick phone call to Zayn’s mother, to tell her Zayn is out of the theatre. They react much like Liam and the others had and tell Liam they are on their way.
Soon enough, a new nurse wheels the still asleep Zayn into the room. Unsurprisingly, everyone crowds around the bed. He is hooked up to a machine of some sort and a drip and he looks paler than usual. The right side of his head is shaved. Liam and Niall lean over to look and spot the implant at the side of his head and around his ear. It looks strange and out of place, it will take some getting used to.
“What’s it like?” Louis asks and swats Harry’s hand as he prods Zayn’s face.
Liam shrugs. “OK I guess”
They all natter quietly over Zayn and don’t even realise he has woken up. When Harry and Niall are in a particularly loud debate over whether Zayn will shave all his hair off or not, a hand rises from the bed and everyone shuts up.
“Are you ok?”
“HELLO”
“Zayn are you going to shave off your hair?”
Zayn waves his hand to quieten them and Liam just stares at him with wide, nervous eyes.
“Are you ok?” Louis asks again, this time with his hands as Zayn seems to be struggling to open his eyes wide enough to lip read.
Zayn nods his head and licks his lips, signalling towards the bottle of water on his bedside locker which Harry quickly hands over. After a long drink Zayn finally wakes up a little more and offers them all a smile.
‘I feel a bit groggy but other than that, I am ok’ he signs and reaches for Liam’s hand.
‘And no, I will never shave my hair’ he adds and they all snigger with laughter and sit down, relaxed now that Zayn is back amongst them.
~~
It has been three weeks. Three weeks of intense therapy sessions and nervous check-ups.
Zayn shows no sign of being able to hear yet but every time he so much as coughs Liam breaks out in a sweat, thinking it is Zayn speaking for the first time.
Due to appointment, Zayn and Liam find themselves back in the hospital, funnily in the same room as last time.
‘What if I have to wait another week, I’ll go out of my mind’ Zayn admits, scratching at the implant in the side of his head like he usually does.
‘I bet you won’t’ Liam tries to reassure him but both their legs are jiggling nervously and both nearly jump out of their skin when the doctor walks into the room.
He greets them warmly, asks questions like how was your day, things that seem trivial in comparison to what may be about to happen.
He brings out a long rod, informs them that it is a magnetic device and what will soon activate the implant, hopefully allowing Zayn to hear.
Zayn sits at the edge of the bed and Liam sits in the chair directly in front of him, hand digging into Zayn’s knee.
“Ok, I’m going to activate it now” the doctor announces and brings the rod up to Zayn’s right ear.
Liam holds in a breath and watches Zayn do the same. The air is thick and Liam’s stomach feels like a mini tornado is attacking it.
When the doctor lowers his arm, he stands back behind Liam’s chair and watches Zayn intensely. You could hear a pin drop in the room and Liam nearly screams out of nervousness. He watches Zayn carefully. His eyes are set on Liam and he is watching him expectantly. Liam can tell he is terrified, he won’t speak, and he can’t. It is up to Liam to check has it worked.
Everything is up to Liam right now.
He licks his lips nervously, making sure his mouth is not too dry where he won’t be able to speak and grips onto Zayn’s knees with both hands.
“Zayn?”
//
part 12