To Do Or Not To Do.....

[dmlong]

I have come to realize that there is a bit of internal dissonance when it comes to my desires and my ambition. It seems I desire that which I am unwilling to work for. I worry because my life does not look anything like what I hoped it would at this stage, and yet I make no effort to make the changes required to accomplish that ideal

Comments

[methlusa]

I think part of being mature and organized and responsible and all that jazz... is realizing how little of all of those things you posess. I really do think society's at leats a little to blame, particularly if you are so involved in church and that social group (no offense meant, but the ideal of that life is epitomized with zeal in religious circles).

Just like a male asking, "Aren't I supposed to be a man now?" a man is simply a boy able to actually ask that question at some point in his life. There's no pre-set cookie cutter as to how your life should go, why should it become all button-down and all that stuff when you're in your thirties? now I know why alot of men are like that at that age, you know: the beginning of the great decrease in production of testosterone, or however you spell it, but even with that it's not even close to being able to put a quantifier to it.

You should worry less about what you should SUPPOSED to want to do and everything like that, oyu need to find out what makes you happy, not like vices and all, dig? Me for example, I love knowledge as long as it has to do with people, I find out everythign I can, it makes me happy, and it makes me even happier when I can use that knowledge to help people take a look at themselfs or something. Hrmmm... I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I rarely do with these kinds of things :p

I don't think you should try and change just for change... if you want to change soemthing, make it be for you, because there's nothing wrong with doing something for you, but (at least in my case) the hardest part about that situation is finding out what you actually want. Don't chase after an idealized image you've superimposed ontop of someone/thing, find what it is that fits it, or try and get rid of that idealized perception? I don't know, but "the real journey of exploration consists not in finding new landscapes; but in having new eyes."

*loves* <3