At the End of the Day, It's Still Just Me.

[dmlong]

This morning, I woke up fairly less than gloomy. I actually got ready and out of the house at a decent time and managed to be on time to work. That, added to the fact that it was another abbreviated work day for me, set me up for what appeared to be a very pleasant day

Comments

[oatmeal]

oh good lord. What she's saying is not that you should stop having goals, but that you, alone, as a single person, have an intrinsic value and utility which is not linked to your relationship status. Accepting that, by the way, is one of the first steps towards dating well.

What is it that you're missing that is so important? Is it /him/, or is it /anyone/?

and: being single isn't a 'fate' to which one resigns oneself. First of all, fatalism is ridiculous, especially to anyone who believes that God grants free will. More importantly, singledom isn't some terrible thing that gets inflicted on those of us who are unworthy of love. It's a temporary state; it's an emotional puzzle-box that springs open when you stop fighting; and it won't get solved by getting panicky and frustrated about it. i'm not explaining this right, and clearly your counselor isn't either. You're looking at single-ness wrong, though.

You can't date well, you can't really get where you want to be with someone, if you're dating out of fear of being alone. When people tell you to be patient or be okay with singleness, they're saying don't be afraid. You can't love out of fear -- you can't even get to know someone to find out if you might love them, from a position of fear.

On the other hand, you can have plenty of crazy and interesting sex from fear-of-loneliness. so it's not all bad.