Thees Ees Veekram
EVERY time I'm sent to take blood from patients, one of two things inevitably occur:
1. Chinese patients start talking to me in chinese.
2. Non-chinese patients ask me about my race.
Remembering the fact while I do understand some chinese I'd be better off communicating in a language I can actually speak, this poses a problem when I do understand what they want but have no way to answer their question. I decide to go with the option of least resistance and speak in malay which causes massive alarm to spread all over their faces and go "sori sori, ingat lu orang Cina". (sorry, I thought you were Chinese)
Shortly after they'll ask if I'm REALLY not Chinese; I never give them the satisfaction of knowing. I just say "aaa", nod, and finish up.
(the reason for this is because I have gotten into massive debates with people on why it should be MANDATORY for me to learn mandarin and I AM NOT A TRUE CHINESE and I say screw you my family has not spoken mandarin for THREE GENERATIONS so I'm not interested in pursuing that dumbass argument UNLESS you can convince me there is a book on the secret to badassery written entirely in chinese.)
One lady went the extra mile and immediately assumed I'm Sabahan AND Kadazan (because Kadazans are like. So fair. Totally unlike my ACTUAL Kadazan-Chinese colleague who's two shades darker than me). So not only am I not Chinese because I don't speak any Chinese dialects, I'm now an ENTIRELY different ethnicity with a whole new hometown. That's just awesome.
Somewhere out there are a ton of people telling their friends about the lady who took their blood who they SWEAR looked chinese but really wasn't because...she didn't speak chinese! I kinda crack up thinking about that.
Times like this I feel like picking up Korean.
*****
Patients of a different race obviously don't have that language assumption so their alarm bells start ringing when I talk to them in english/malay. Years of speaking nothing but malay has left me speaking like a native malay, and this confuses them greatly.
Once two Malay guys were hellbent on figuring out my race because "I look Chinese, talk like a Malay, but my hair looks like a foreigner's" (my hair had blonde streaks at that time). Recently I told a patient these days Chinese people look Malay and vice versa and he inclined to agree and that closed the topic.
Once a man (in a gurney no less!) asked if I was CHINDIAN because I didn't have the chinese-accented english he was accustomed to. This is not the first time - I've been asked this in uni before.
me: You don't sound like a pure Indian yourself...
him: Actually yeah, I'm Indian-Portugese.
me: So english was your first language I presume?
him: ...so you're mixed?
me: ...I don't think that's solely the domain of the mixed-blood.
And that was that.
*****
Maybe because I work so closely with people (HOW UNLIKE A MISANTHROPE WTF IS THIS SH*T) I notice that for all the unity and harmony Malaysians strive for, we have stereotypes because we see so often it's the norm. Chinese people MUST speak chinese and if they speak any other ranguage we must have that chineeees-accent [/russell peters] no matter what, and god help them if some anomaly comes along. Even if we come to terms with May 13 or revamp the Constitution or WHATEVER, we'll always have these preconceived notions because there are so many things that prove this is the stereotype, this is WHY it's a stereotype; no amount of social reconditioning will change that because it's ingrained so deeply in our daily lives. Sure you can accept Ah Kong's way of life, but it won't stop you from wondering why he speaks fluent Norwegian the first time he does it.
But dayamn I love screwing with people's heads. <3
1. Chinese patients start talking to me in chinese.
2. Non-chinese patients ask me about my race.
Remembering the fact while I do understand some chinese I'd be better off communicating in a language I can actually speak, this poses a problem when I do understand what they want but have no way to answer their question. I decide to go with the option of least resistance and speak in malay which causes massive alarm to spread all over their faces and go "sori sori, ingat lu orang Cina". (sorry, I thought you were Chinese)
Shortly after they'll ask if I'm REALLY not Chinese; I never give them the satisfaction of knowing. I just say "aaa", nod, and finish up.
(the reason for this is because I have gotten into massive debates with people on why it should be MANDATORY for me to learn mandarin and I AM NOT A TRUE CHINESE and I say screw you my family has not spoken mandarin for THREE GENERATIONS so I'm not interested in pursuing that dumbass argument UNLESS you can convince me there is a book on the secret to badassery written entirely in chinese.)
One lady went the extra mile and immediately assumed I'm Sabahan AND Kadazan (because Kadazans are like. So fair. Totally unlike my ACTUAL Kadazan-Chinese colleague who's two shades darker than me). So not only am I not Chinese because I don't speak any Chinese dialects, I'm now an ENTIRELY different ethnicity with a whole new hometown. That's just awesome.
Somewhere out there are a ton of people telling their friends about the lady who took their blood who they SWEAR looked chinese but really wasn't because...she didn't speak chinese! I kinda crack up thinking about that.
Times like this I feel like picking up Korean.
*****
Patients of a different race obviously don't have that language assumption so their alarm bells start ringing when I talk to them in english/malay. Years of speaking nothing but malay has left me speaking like a native malay, and this confuses them greatly.
Once two Malay guys were hellbent on figuring out my race because "I look Chinese, talk like a Malay, but my hair looks like a foreigner's" (my hair had blonde streaks at that time). Recently I told a patient these days Chinese people look Malay and vice versa and he inclined to agree and that closed the topic.
Once a man (in a gurney no less!) asked if I was CHINDIAN because I didn't have the chinese-accented english he was accustomed to. This is not the first time - I've been asked this in uni before.
me: You don't sound like a pure Indian yourself...
him: Actually yeah, I'm Indian-Portugese.
me: So english was your first language I presume?
him: ...so you're mixed?
me: ...I don't think that's solely the domain of the mixed-blood.
And that was that.
*****
Maybe because I work so closely with people (HOW UNLIKE A MISANTHROPE WTF IS THIS SH*T) I notice that for all the unity and harmony Malaysians strive for, we have stereotypes because we see so often it's the norm. Chinese people MUST speak chinese and if they speak any other ranguage we must have that chineeees-accent [/russell peters] no matter what, and god help them if some anomaly comes along. Even if we come to terms with May 13 or revamp the Constitution or WHATEVER, we'll always have these preconceived notions because there are so many things that prove this is the stereotype, this is WHY it's a stereotype; no amount of social reconditioning will change that because it's ingrained so deeply in our daily lives. Sure you can accept Ah Kong's way of life, but it won't stop you from wondering why he speaks fluent Norwegian the first time he does it.
But dayamn I love screwing with people's heads. <3