(no subject)
It's kind of weird and ironic that there isn't a 29th day in February. I mean, technically it was a month on monday, but since she passed on the 29th, it would be the next...29th...if that makes sense. *sigh* I really wish i could say that this is getting easier...that my heart feels less troubled...but it just DOESN'T. I truly wish it did. I think it's getting harder in a way since reality seems to be setting in a little more each day. Halie sent me a link to this site taht has a newscast report on the blood drive that they held in honor of Jilian at her college, and they showed scenes from the accident. It was weird, I couldn't stop looking. I pressed pause on the thing and just STARED.
You konw, I'm really confused about why keeping quiet about what is troubling your heart is seen as weak by some people. Doesn't it take courage to come out and say exactly what you're feeling too? I think THAT makes someone strong, too. Not only strong, but smart. And you know, Jilian CERTAINLY wore her emotions and heart on her sleeve. Taht's partly why I've been so able to express my thoughts to people. Well, the ones I want to hear it anyway. She'd want me to. It's what she would have done to me. You know, she had a lot of secrets in her heart, and so do I, but she shared so many of them with me, and now I'm not going to keep my feelings locked away. I'm going to say how I feel when I feel them. Particularly on this issue. You know what else? Jilian was a fighter. Seh really was. So, I can do it too. I can fight for what I believe in. And I will. I'm tired of this stereotype that women are supposed to be demure, meek, and silent. Sometimes I feel like that's how it is. Women aren't supposed to speak out. you know waht? I'm tired of it, so I'm doing something about it.
I can't believe I have to be somewhere 20 minutes from now.
You konw, I'm really confused about why keeping quiet about what is troubling your heart is seen as weak by some people. Doesn't it take courage to come out and say exactly what you're feeling too? I think THAT makes someone strong, too. Not only strong, but smart. And you know, Jilian CERTAINLY wore her emotions and heart on her sleeve. Taht's partly why I've been so able to express my thoughts to people. Well, the ones I want to hear it anyway. She'd want me to. It's what she would have done to me. You know, she had a lot of secrets in her heart, and so do I, but she shared so many of them with me, and now I'm not going to keep my feelings locked away. I'm going to say how I feel when I feel them. Particularly on this issue. You know what else? Jilian was a fighter. Seh really was. So, I can do it too. I can fight for what I believe in. And I will. I'm tired of this stereotype that women are supposed to be demure, meek, and silent. Sometimes I feel like that's how it is. Women aren't supposed to speak out. you know waht? I'm tired of it, so I'm doing something about it.
I can't believe I have to be somewhere 20 minutes from now.