erm...

[dmb_loyalty]

well, today was interesting. but not really because it contained absolutly nothing out of the ordinary. I think my teachers have given up writing me detentions.... I haven't gone to any classes but art for three days. I've been out of sorts. We all have our days, but this is different. Its like I know that I lost her but I realize that I'm over her, and that we aren't together for a reason, and I am completely over it... but then a few minutes later... I miss her. Yesterday, I was happier. I was over everything that has happened and I was trying to realize that now that I am free of that I am happy because now I can do whatever I want... but then she called and this other girl came into the conversation and suddenly I knew. She spoke with a recent tone, just as though it was yesterday that they were together and nothing with me had happened in between, and thats when I realized she used me, and she did a bad job playing me. Seriously, if you're going to be with someone, you may as well tell them you want an open relationship if you're gonna fuck around with other people. I love her enough to say yes.... I would have given her anything she had asked of me but it didnt matter I guess. Its alright though. She said she wanted to remain good friends as we had been throughout the whole thing but.... then she stopped talking to me, stopped telling me things, acted differently not only while she was with me but even on the phone... now we fight. nothing but. and it hurts. but I'm over it. Ya' know, shit happens and then you find someone new. I love dave matthews, I am so neutral about everything now because I dont care about anything but him and the music... oh the beautiful music... I would die without it. I love DMB

"so here we are, together. With the storm outside, and the fires burning bright...."