just get in your car and get your ass to the hospital
with a popsickle stick and a mint, perhaps a hard candy at my feet, this is what i came up with
I asked:
Are you gonna help me get through this?
In response:
I look at where we are
I look at what Im asking
and considering where we are
I think Im asking the wrong person
busy here tonight
just sitting here thinking about what im gonna do
do i cancel? how can i cancel? how can i not cancel? are the circumstances of today require a cancellation?
here in the back yard - things are different
brooky rollin around in the grass
remembering as a kid how i would wish james and alec would come out to play
thinking about the swing set and the twirly swing
and dont forget the deer leg, oHHH NOO dont forget the deer leg
and then it went away
but it was replaced with guilt despair painfull sadness and intensity
slowly with time there wasnt time for that cause you got so depressed and sick and gradually after that the depressed and the sick went untreated
and got worse and now
because of the improper use and the inproper balance
and the untreated sick and the untreated depression
you end up like this
and why did you end up like this?????????WHY
Everytime I asked = your "fine"
Everytime I cried = your "fine"
Everytime I got mad = your "fine"
Everytime I begged = your "fine"
and your NOT FINE
nothing in your life is FINE
excuse me while i play guessing games with the dog in regards to why she is dragging her buttox
this fuckin house man
sucks the life right out of you
makes your insides want to explode
i always wanted to remember my child hood house as a great house - i dont
its a place that destoyed my mother
it was her personally created sanctuary from the outside world - its the place i lost my mother
she is laying in a hospital bed right now
AGAIN
with one blood transfussion completed, we wait to see whats next, it could take hours to hear something
and tomorrow work
shit i dont know what to do
im already off friday to sit at home hungover
do i cancel the party? do i work friday? do i call kara back or just keep hiding? should i call jack back or will i just be unintentionally ambiguous and vague?!?! do i stay here tonight? should i go back to the hospital? should i go to work tomorrow - and screw all my birthday plans? should i skip work and the party and go to the hospital? why isnt my dad calling me bacK to tell me if how shes doing?
my mind is on a rampage
"Several Ways To Die Trying"
Pacific Sun, you should have warned us, it gets so cold here.
And the night can freeze, before you set it on fire.
And our flares go unnoticed.
Dimminished, faded just as soon as they are fired.
We are, we are, intrigued. We are, we are, invisible.
Oh, how we've shouted, how we've screamed, take notice, take interest, take me with you.
But all our fears fall on deaf ears.
Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live.
Pacific sun, you should have warned us, these heights are dizzying,
and the climb can kill you long before the fall.
And our trails go unmarked and unmapped and covered
just as soon as they are crossed.
We are, we are, intriguing. We are, we are, desirable.
Oh how we've shouted, how we've screamed,
take notice, take interest, take me with you.
But all our fears fall on deaf ears.
Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live.
I asked:
Are you gonna help me get through this?
In response:
I look at where we are
I look at what Im asking
and considering where we are
I think Im asking the wrong person
busy here tonight
just sitting here thinking about what im gonna do
do i cancel? how can i cancel? how can i not cancel? are the circumstances of today require a cancellation?
here in the back yard - things are different
brooky rollin around in the grass
remembering as a kid how i would wish james and alec would come out to play
thinking about the swing set and the twirly swing
and dont forget the deer leg, oHHH NOO dont forget the deer leg
and then it went away
but it was replaced with guilt despair painfull sadness and intensity
slowly with time there wasnt time for that cause you got so depressed and sick and gradually after that the depressed and the sick went untreated
and got worse and now
because of the improper use and the inproper balance
and the untreated sick and the untreated depression
you end up like this
and why did you end up like this?????????WHY
Everytime I asked = your "fine"
Everytime I cried = your "fine"
Everytime I got mad = your "fine"
Everytime I begged = your "fine"
and your NOT FINE
nothing in your life is FINE
excuse me while i play guessing games with the dog in regards to why she is dragging her buttox
this fuckin house man
sucks the life right out of you
makes your insides want to explode
i always wanted to remember my child hood house as a great house - i dont
its a place that destoyed my mother
it was her personally created sanctuary from the outside world - its the place i lost my mother
she is laying in a hospital bed right now
AGAIN
with one blood transfussion completed, we wait to see whats next, it could take hours to hear something
and tomorrow work
shit i dont know what to do
im already off friday to sit at home hungover
do i cancel the party? do i work friday? do i call kara back or just keep hiding? should i call jack back or will i just be unintentionally ambiguous and vague?!?! do i stay here tonight? should i go back to the hospital? should i go to work tomorrow - and screw all my birthday plans? should i skip work and the party and go to the hospital? why isnt my dad calling me bacK to tell me if how shes doing?
my mind is on a rampage
"Several Ways To Die Trying"
Pacific Sun, you should have warned us, it gets so cold here.
And the night can freeze, before you set it on fire.
And our flares go unnoticed.
Dimminished, faded just as soon as they are fired.
We are, we are, intrigued. We are, we are, invisible.
Oh, how we've shouted, how we've screamed, take notice, take interest, take me with you.
But all our fears fall on deaf ears.
Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live.
Pacific sun, you should have warned us, these heights are dizzying,
and the climb can kill you long before the fall.
And our trails go unmarked and unmapped and covered
just as soon as they are crossed.
We are, we are, intriguing. We are, we are, desirable.
Oh how we've shouted, how we've screamed,
take notice, take interest, take me with you.
But all our fears fall on deaf ears.
Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live.