cuuuurse CURSE.....CUUUUUUUUURSE
it gave me a panic attack to know you were having a panic attack baby...i gotta keep my manager happy.....dont worry, the doctor is in
i know im being weak. im letting my dreams attack reality. all i know is last night, when i was sitting there talking, it felt so good to get it out and be like - UGH
but all it made me do was want to hold him. just for one second. seeing him in my dream in my sisters lap - really got me. it was the first weakness i have had. i just need to be strong and patient....
SAW QUEEN FUSSLENUTS...
thank you for keeping me sane last night
between adult swim, brandons freakout, the weird phone call from borders...the dramatic exit........ugh.......
i guess brandy is up on jacks case again, and using greg as her form of communication - christ just call him!
i guess besty is gonna call me?!?! im kinda scared, am i grown up enough?!?! i am responsible!! i swear!!!
embarrassing things happened to me today at work - im a pretty private person and my personal things were uncovered in my car today -
my car is clean - clean as sin - i have to take my mom to the doctors all the time, so she is in my car alot - so i dont live out of it anymore, but this morning, when i woke up - i grabbed my clothes, grabbed a random sweatshirt and took off for my car, threw my stuff in the passenger seat - not even thinking someone would get in my car today - and someone did - and things were seen ..... lol.....i wont live this down for awhile!!
i guess i need to study tonight. i dont want to, but i have people to help me - and i will learn things - im sure...doh.
i pretty much just want to go home at this point
i was up pretty late last night. hanging. i swear if i could talk about anything and everything - i did :) and it felt greeeeat
and in return we talked about anything and everything and im almost wondering what exactly the future holds
that training is in august - the end of august and im interested in it...but im too scared to do it
did you know they have FLYING yes frickin FLYING snakes?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!! and mambas and shit?!?!?
before i go anywhere - i gotta research the area and see what is there that could kill me?!?!!!!i dont know why, but thats the first thing i thought of -
if i go there - what could kill me....lol a flying snake....
amazing how a day can change for the worst
and now im freakin out. i have been doing EVERYTHING i can for my mom
i have been supportive i have been doing what the doctors say i have been positive i have been taking her to and from her appointments, participating, helping, offering encouraging words a shoulder to cry on i have been doing EVERYTHING in my frickin power i have been working for her i have given up sleep work sanity time space my life my everything i have given up and done what the doctors say
and she is manipulating me
she is using me
she is killing me
she is lying to me
and she is either faking it or is seriously sick - and one or the other - it doesnt matter
if your this sick - you need help - your sick
if your faking being this sick - you need help - you are just as sick as a sick person - if not worse
and im losing it
i spent the past half hour in the work out room at my work crying talking to my aunt talking to my father talking to my sister
trying to figure out what to do
and as horrible as this is
i understand why jeanette left and i hold no grudges against her for her behavior - i understand
this is killing me
and its killing my mother
and im not ok anymore
thank you for taking care of me
i admit - im dealing with this the wrong wrong, but im also dealing the right way, lets just hope one evens out with the other...
im glad im not dealing with this mom crap alone - cause for a awhile there, i thought i was alone i thought i had noone to talk to. i thought i couldnt make it
i would take my things and dissapear in my room
and now i take my things and dissapear at the manor
thanks guys, for everything
i know im being weak. im letting my dreams attack reality. all i know is last night, when i was sitting there talking, it felt so good to get it out and be like - UGH
but all it made me do was want to hold him. just for one second. seeing him in my dream in my sisters lap - really got me. it was the first weakness i have had. i just need to be strong and patient....
SAW QUEEN FUSSLENUTS...
thank you for keeping me sane last night
between adult swim, brandons freakout, the weird phone call from borders...the dramatic exit........ugh.......
i guess brandy is up on jacks case again, and using greg as her form of communication - christ just call him!
i guess besty is gonna call me?!?! im kinda scared, am i grown up enough?!?! i am responsible!! i swear!!!
embarrassing things happened to me today at work - im a pretty private person and my personal things were uncovered in my car today -
my car is clean - clean as sin - i have to take my mom to the doctors all the time, so she is in my car alot - so i dont live out of it anymore, but this morning, when i woke up - i grabbed my clothes, grabbed a random sweatshirt and took off for my car, threw my stuff in the passenger seat - not even thinking someone would get in my car today - and someone did - and things were seen ..... lol.....i wont live this down for awhile!!
i guess i need to study tonight. i dont want to, but i have people to help me - and i will learn things - im sure...doh.
i pretty much just want to go home at this point
i was up pretty late last night. hanging. i swear if i could talk about anything and everything - i did :) and it felt greeeeat
and in return we talked about anything and everything and im almost wondering what exactly the future holds
that training is in august - the end of august and im interested in it...but im too scared to do it
did you know they have FLYING yes frickin FLYING snakes?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!! and mambas and shit?!?!?
before i go anywhere - i gotta research the area and see what is there that could kill me?!?!!!!i dont know why, but thats the first thing i thought of -
if i go there - what could kill me....lol a flying snake....
amazing how a day can change for the worst
and now im freakin out. i have been doing EVERYTHING i can for my mom
i have been supportive i have been doing what the doctors say i have been positive i have been taking her to and from her appointments, participating, helping, offering encouraging words a shoulder to cry on i have been doing EVERYTHING in my frickin power i have been working for her i have given up sleep work sanity time space my life my everything i have given up and done what the doctors say
and she is manipulating me
she is using me
she is killing me
she is lying to me
and she is either faking it or is seriously sick - and one or the other - it doesnt matter
if your this sick - you need help - your sick
if your faking being this sick - you need help - you are just as sick as a sick person - if not worse
and im losing it
i spent the past half hour in the work out room at my work crying talking to my aunt talking to my father talking to my sister
trying to figure out what to do
and as horrible as this is
i understand why jeanette left and i hold no grudges against her for her behavior - i understand
this is killing me
and its killing my mother
and im not ok anymore
thank you for taking care of me
i admit - im dealing with this the wrong wrong, but im also dealing the right way, lets just hope one evens out with the other...
im glad im not dealing with this mom crap alone - cause for a awhile there, i thought i was alone i thought i had noone to talk to. i thought i couldnt make it
i would take my things and dissapear in my room
and now i take my things and dissapear at the manor
thanks guys, for everything