i can never tell
i never know when people are mocking me. maybe it is my ignorance or my lack of giving a shit but i sometimes think people mock me. they will ask me questions that really spark a passion inside of me and i get excited about it and give a good answer to the best of my knowledge. i notice how excited about it i get and how truly humbled and amazed i get when thinking about such things as the origin of life and the universe. And maybe it is this excitement unique to a few people. Maybe the typical response is the one i am getting. The look of not caring. I understand that most people probably dont have the drive to look into the depths of science but i guess i still thought they would think it was cool or interesting when explained to them. I guess not.
I cant help getting excited. I sit and i think about all the events that had to happen for me to be here and it is truly humbling more so than any creation story or any garden of eden. I think of the hundreds of billions of stars in our galaxy and the hundreds of billions of galaxies each with hundreds of billions of stars in them and i am amazed at not only how insignificant we are in the universe but how lucky we are to be alive and if we are the only ones to stumble upon this luck that is life.
We just so happen to orbit a star that is not too hot and not too cold, and our planet is not too close to this star and not to far, it is the goldilocks scenario. It is just right. Then i continue to think of all the cosmic collisions that could ended the current branch of evolution that humans find themselves on and how lucky we are not to have experienced that yet. I think about the cosmic collisions that had to have happened to allow us to get to this current platform. If the dinosaurs would have never went extinct mammals would have never risen to dominance and humans would have never seen the light of day.
I think about my ancestors. Not just my human ancestors but every ancestor that dates back to the beginning of life. How each one HAD to be successful and HAD to reach sexual maturity and HAD to reproduce to enable me to get here. My ancestors and yours as well HAD to survive at least 2 major cosmic collisions with the earth that both times wiped out around 90% of the species that inhabited the earth at that time. I think of how they HAD to reproduce at the exact moment that they did because a different female egg or different male sperm would have carried a slightly altered genetic code slightly altering the end result and after generations of reproduction that could amount to very significant changes in the world today. I think of how all my ancestors had to reproduce with the creature that they did because once again that would have instant changes in who i am today if that did not happen. I know all this because i am here today. The chances of everything happening the same way all over again are so minute it is incalculable. Your mom had to meet your dad at the exact right time and had to conceive you at the exact right moment. This had to be true all the way back to the beginning of sexual reproduction. If your grandparents would have met someone else at the dance there is a damn good chance you wouldn't be here.
I sit and think about all that. And the some of the many other things that require us to be here like the need for our moon and the influence it has on our every day life, the need for plants to change carbon to oxygen, the need to work together with other people and other species to ensure the future of our own species. All of this stuns me.
I cant help but get excited.
I want to know more. I strive to learn more. The latest theories in science captivate me from string theory, to the big bang. From evolution to quantum physics. The world and universe we live in has so many mysteries and so many awe inspiring events and places i cant get enough.
So they can mock me i dont care. Like i said before i don't truly know if they are mocking me or if it is just a general disinterest in science. I don't know and i really don't care, i just figure i will answer to the best of my ability hoping i can provide the spark in someone else like this spark was provided for me. And even if that doesn't happen i hope i can explain it well enough that at the end of the day they will have something to think about, even if it is how crazy i am at least they are thinking about it.
To Marissa,
You are the only person that will probably see those words unless i decide to post them anywhere else. You are a good friend to me even though we have never met in person. I enjoy talking to you because you are smart and you have a drive in you that few people have. While our interest in science is not in the same area to see someone else with a passion to understand how something works especially something as complex as the human mind is really something to be proud of. You sometimes tell me how you feel things are pointless and worthless. I think you are wrong. You do so much even if you don't know it. Your drive to learn and do well in school is a breath of fresh air. When i look at my other friends i can say that only one person shares your passion and he is probably my best friend. I like that because it makes me want to learn. Your motivation to push yourself motivates me to push as well. Its kind of like a spotting buddy in a gym that urges you to go that last mile. And even if you are not verbally pushing me your actions do. You motivate me to learn and that is a main reason why i think i enjoy talking to you so much. I have been trying to surround myself with people i want to be like, people who i think influence me in positive ways to make myself better. I honestly think you do that. I have gotten to the point where i don't want to stop learning and i am noticing that my friends that are content with the knowledge they have and the ones who are starting to settle down are moving farther and farther away from me as friends. Its sad to see people who once you had a great relationship with slowly fading into the distance. Its nice to know other people out there that still have a passion to learn. That is why i am glad i am friends with you.
-Dan
P.S. it is too late for me to go back through and edit all of this so i am just going to post it and if there are any errors i apologize because i sometimes get excited and start typing too fast for my own good and that wouldnt surprise me at all if it happened a few times in this entry.
I cant help getting excited. I sit and i think about all the events that had to happen for me to be here and it is truly humbling more so than any creation story or any garden of eden. I think of the hundreds of billions of stars in our galaxy and the hundreds of billions of galaxies each with hundreds of billions of stars in them and i am amazed at not only how insignificant we are in the universe but how lucky we are to be alive and if we are the only ones to stumble upon this luck that is life.
We just so happen to orbit a star that is not too hot and not too cold, and our planet is not too close to this star and not to far, it is the goldilocks scenario. It is just right. Then i continue to think of all the cosmic collisions that could ended the current branch of evolution that humans find themselves on and how lucky we are not to have experienced that yet. I think about the cosmic collisions that had to have happened to allow us to get to this current platform. If the dinosaurs would have never went extinct mammals would have never risen to dominance and humans would have never seen the light of day.
I think about my ancestors. Not just my human ancestors but every ancestor that dates back to the beginning of life. How each one HAD to be successful and HAD to reach sexual maturity and HAD to reproduce to enable me to get here. My ancestors and yours as well HAD to survive at least 2 major cosmic collisions with the earth that both times wiped out around 90% of the species that inhabited the earth at that time. I think of how they HAD to reproduce at the exact moment that they did because a different female egg or different male sperm would have carried a slightly altered genetic code slightly altering the end result and after generations of reproduction that could amount to very significant changes in the world today. I think of how all my ancestors had to reproduce with the creature that they did because once again that would have instant changes in who i am today if that did not happen. I know all this because i am here today. The chances of everything happening the same way all over again are so minute it is incalculable. Your mom had to meet your dad at the exact right time and had to conceive you at the exact right moment. This had to be true all the way back to the beginning of sexual reproduction. If your grandparents would have met someone else at the dance there is a damn good chance you wouldn't be here.
I sit and think about all that. And the some of the many other things that require us to be here like the need for our moon and the influence it has on our every day life, the need for plants to change carbon to oxygen, the need to work together with other people and other species to ensure the future of our own species. All of this stuns me.
I cant help but get excited.
I want to know more. I strive to learn more. The latest theories in science captivate me from string theory, to the big bang. From evolution to quantum physics. The world and universe we live in has so many mysteries and so many awe inspiring events and places i cant get enough.
So they can mock me i dont care. Like i said before i don't truly know if they are mocking me or if it is just a general disinterest in science. I don't know and i really don't care, i just figure i will answer to the best of my ability hoping i can provide the spark in someone else like this spark was provided for me. And even if that doesn't happen i hope i can explain it well enough that at the end of the day they will have something to think about, even if it is how crazy i am at least they are thinking about it.
To Marissa,
You are the only person that will probably see those words unless i decide to post them anywhere else. You are a good friend to me even though we have never met in person. I enjoy talking to you because you are smart and you have a drive in you that few people have. While our interest in science is not in the same area to see someone else with a passion to understand how something works especially something as complex as the human mind is really something to be proud of. You sometimes tell me how you feel things are pointless and worthless. I think you are wrong. You do so much even if you don't know it. Your drive to learn and do well in school is a breath of fresh air. When i look at my other friends i can say that only one person shares your passion and he is probably my best friend. I like that because it makes me want to learn. Your motivation to push yourself motivates me to push as well. Its kind of like a spotting buddy in a gym that urges you to go that last mile. And even if you are not verbally pushing me your actions do. You motivate me to learn and that is a main reason why i think i enjoy talking to you so much. I have been trying to surround myself with people i want to be like, people who i think influence me in positive ways to make myself better. I honestly think you do that. I have gotten to the point where i don't want to stop learning and i am noticing that my friends that are content with the knowledge they have and the ones who are starting to settle down are moving farther and farther away from me as friends. Its sad to see people who once you had a great relationship with slowly fading into the distance. Its nice to know other people out there that still have a passion to learn. That is why i am glad i am friends with you.
-Dan
P.S. it is too late for me to go back through and edit all of this so i am just going to post it and if there are any errors i apologize because i sometimes get excited and start typing too fast for my own good and that wouldnt surprise me at all if it happened a few times in this entry.