(no subject)
We traveled through a forest. Nice place, but there's weird things there. Bad enough seeing a guy having a bash on a rose bush. It's quite common though, looking closely, I could see blood on the stem. Silly men, they've got to watch out for those thorns. But the strangest thing was this willy sticking out of the ground.
DKJ: *Pokes*
Willy: *Squirts*
DKJ: Shit my eye! X_O
Oh well, we arrived at this town.
Wise Willy: This is Posh Tarts, unlike the rest of the world, this town has strict rules on pedophilia.
DKJ: Ohhh.
Wise Willy: It's getting late, we need somewhere to stay.
We entered the Dukes manor.
DKJ: Whoa...
---
Britishman: Excuse me madam, but is that you touching my leg under the table?
Britishwoman: Why no, I'm a woman.
Britishman: Ah, of course, huahaha.
---
Britishman: I say, this curry tastes awfully peculiar.
Britishman 2: Hahaaah, it was I. I put my poo in a blender and poured it in your curry.
Britishman: Guah, jolly good joke old chap. I thought it tasted better than usual.
---
Britishman: So if she was cheating on you, why didn't you dump her old fool?
Britishman 2: I did, in the river.
Geffrey: Why hello there foreigners. What can I do for you?
Wise Willy: We need somewhere to stay.
Geffrey: Oh, well then. Let me introduce myself. I'm Geffrey, and this is my son, Edward. Where did you travel from?
DKJ: We came through the forest.
Geffrey: That place? You sure have balls.
Edward: *Sniff*
Geffrey: Oh sorry David, I forgot you don't have any balls.
DKJ: Why not?
Geffrey: I ate them.
DKJ: Why? o_o
Geffrey: What kind of a stupid question is that, lad?
DKJ: >_>
Edward: You know what dad, I hate you.
Geffrey: What?
Edward: Remember that night?
Wise Willy: Oh dear, here we go...
Geffrey: Edward no, don't remind me.
Edward: Where were you? I was comfortably sleeping when the door creaked open. I could hear a man breathing heavily. It was my granddad alright.
Geffrey: Edward no!
Edward: He crept into my bed, his hand went up and down my leg. Then he started licking my ears dad. Then down my neck and to my nipples. He bit them, blood was dripping down my chest. I wanted to say something but he smiled and whispered "It will be our little secret". But he didn't stop there.
Geffrey: Stop it Edward.
Edward: Do you have any idea what it's like being rode on like a horse. The mattress was squeaking heavily.
Geffrey: I said stop it.
Edward: Why!? Do you know of the pain that I felt, like a bowling ball ripping out of my ass. I could feel it traveling down my intestines.
Geffrey: Please, no more!
Edward: Do you even know how many stitches it took before the cracks in my skin went away? Not to mention the warts. And where were you dad? Where were you to wake mother up and save me!?
Geffrey: For the last time, I told you, I was busy having an affair.
Edward: Up yours dad. LITERALLY! *Runs away*
*Silence*
Geffrey: Oh well that's life. What would you two like, cherry, brandy?
We didn't have a clue what to say, before we could do anything this boy got up on a table and shouted.
Jeeve: What's wrong with you Chris?
Chris: I've had it with this place. You're all a bunch of posh boring bastards!
Jif: Really? And what do you plan to do about it you, you....ROTTEN EGG!
Geffrey: Oh my O_O!
Chris: You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go and and rape....3 boys!
*GASP*
Jeeve: Are you mad, boy!? It's tradition to rape at least 5 boys at once!
Chris: I don't care, in fact, I might even rape...2 boys!
*GAAASSSSPPPPP*
Jeeve: YOUNG MAN! THIS IS BLASPHEMY!
Chris: Oh shut up and rape a girl!
*HUGE GASP OF SHOCK*
Jif: Dear god, he's possessed!
Jeeve: Let's hang him by his testicles!
DKJ: THESE are the strict rules on pedophilia?
Wise Willy: ...
Jif: Grab him!
Chris: Not so fast! *Rips off his pants*
*Everyone screams in horror*
DKJ: Haha look at that, he has a vagina!
Chris: You'll never catch me. *Pulls open his vagina and splurts out a blinding flash of cum that blinds us all* *He gets away*
Wise Willy: *Ballsacks tingle* Uh oh, running low on energy.
Geffrey: Ah yes, you wanted somewhere to stay. Don't worry, we have two beds available. You can stay for the night.
*Me and the Wise Willy look at eachother worried*
Geffrey: I had a vagina once. Masturbating with knives doesn't work like it does with a penis.
I have a feeling that this will be a long and awful night ._.
DKJ: *Pokes*
Willy: *Squirts*
DKJ: Shit my eye! X_O
Oh well, we arrived at this town.
Wise Willy: This is Posh Tarts, unlike the rest of the world, this town has strict rules on pedophilia.
DKJ: Ohhh.
Wise Willy: It's getting late, we need somewhere to stay.
We entered the Dukes manor.
DKJ: Whoa...
---
Britishman: Excuse me madam, but is that you touching my leg under the table?
Britishwoman: Why no, I'm a woman.
Britishman: Ah, of course, huahaha.
---
Britishman: I say, this curry tastes awfully peculiar.
Britishman 2: Hahaaah, it was I. I put my poo in a blender and poured it in your curry.
Britishman: Guah, jolly good joke old chap. I thought it tasted better than usual.
---
Britishman: So if she was cheating on you, why didn't you dump her old fool?
Britishman 2: I did, in the river.
Geffrey: Why hello there foreigners. What can I do for you?
Wise Willy: We need somewhere to stay.
Geffrey: Oh, well then. Let me introduce myself. I'm Geffrey, and this is my son, Edward. Where did you travel from?
DKJ: We came through the forest.
Geffrey: That place? You sure have balls.
Edward: *Sniff*
Geffrey: Oh sorry David, I forgot you don't have any balls.
DKJ: Why not?
Geffrey: I ate them.
DKJ: Why? o_o
Geffrey: What kind of a stupid question is that, lad?
DKJ: >_>
Edward: You know what dad, I hate you.
Geffrey: What?
Edward: Remember that night?
Wise Willy: Oh dear, here we go...
Geffrey: Edward no, don't remind me.
Edward: Where were you? I was comfortably sleeping when the door creaked open. I could hear a man breathing heavily. It was my granddad alright.
Geffrey: Edward no!
Edward: He crept into my bed, his hand went up and down my leg. Then he started licking my ears dad. Then down my neck and to my nipples. He bit them, blood was dripping down my chest. I wanted to say something but he smiled and whispered "It will be our little secret". But he didn't stop there.
Geffrey: Stop it Edward.
Edward: Do you have any idea what it's like being rode on like a horse. The mattress was squeaking heavily.
Geffrey: I said stop it.
Edward: Why!? Do you know of the pain that I felt, like a bowling ball ripping out of my ass. I could feel it traveling down my intestines.
Geffrey: Please, no more!
Edward: Do you even know how many stitches it took before the cracks in my skin went away? Not to mention the warts. And where were you dad? Where were you to wake mother up and save me!?
Geffrey: For the last time, I told you, I was busy having an affair.
Edward: Up yours dad. LITERALLY! *Runs away*
*Silence*
Geffrey: Oh well that's life. What would you two like, cherry, brandy?
We didn't have a clue what to say, before we could do anything this boy got up on a table and shouted.
Jeeve: What's wrong with you Chris?
Chris: I've had it with this place. You're all a bunch of posh boring bastards!
Jif: Really? And what do you plan to do about it you, you....ROTTEN EGG!
Geffrey: Oh my O_O!
Chris: You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go and and rape....3 boys!
*GASP*
Jeeve: Are you mad, boy!? It's tradition to rape at least 5 boys at once!
Chris: I don't care, in fact, I might even rape...2 boys!
*GAAASSSSPPPPP*
Jeeve: YOUNG MAN! THIS IS BLASPHEMY!
Chris: Oh shut up and rape a girl!
*HUGE GASP OF SHOCK*
Jif: Dear god, he's possessed!
Jeeve: Let's hang him by his testicles!
DKJ: THESE are the strict rules on pedophilia?
Wise Willy: ...
Jif: Grab him!
Chris: Not so fast! *Rips off his pants*
*Everyone screams in horror*
DKJ: Haha look at that, he has a vagina!
Chris: You'll never catch me. *Pulls open his vagina and splurts out a blinding flash of cum that blinds us all* *He gets away*
Wise Willy: *Ballsacks tingle* Uh oh, running low on energy.
Geffrey: Ah yes, you wanted somewhere to stay. Don't worry, we have two beds available. You can stay for the night.
*Me and the Wise Willy look at eachother worried*
Geffrey: I had a vagina once. Masturbating with knives doesn't work like it does with a penis.
I have a feeling that this will be a long and awful night ._.