i can say i hope it will be worth what i give up
college. when i first stepped onto campus a few weeks ago, i had a whole shpeil of commentary running through my mind. all the typical things you would expect to find at any given college were there, and it was just a cute moment. nervous guys, cocky girls. the motivated, the sleazy, the late, the early. it was just a defining experience. ive said goodbye to high school for good, and it was a good experience, but now let's concentrate on the main dish that is college.
i was really aggravated that i didnt get into Cal State Fullerton :/ but i deserve it, i guess, considering i really messed up during Senior year.
and i definitely didnt work to my full potential as being the Editor In Chief for the paper. I was too busy partying and being a big bad senior. i will never forgive myself.
ive thought about joining Fullerton's paper crew, but i feel like i've lost my writing spark. i think it was just a good way to self medicate when i was in deep emotional turmoil. so far, my declared major is journalism. i want to immerse myself in the subject, but im afraid im going to fall off the wagon, quick.
i like to hang out with my friends, meet new people and enjoy my favorite 'liquid courage' drinks (haha, i know) on weekends. i party too hard sometimes, and i end up lagging behind, and my dreams and goals are hazy and a thousand feet behind me.
at least i recognize it.
:/
so, carlos. hes my boyfriend. hes insanely sweet, and i love being with him. he's in a local Anaheim band called The Tequila Worms, and knows everyone in the punk/psychobilly/rockabilly scene. he's 23, and so far i think i've been introduced to more people than i have within the last year put together. its an older crowd, which is cool, because girls and guys my age are really starting to piss me off.
which brings me to Yuliana. shes my best and closest friend. the problem is that shes gorgeous, a model in the making, and shes just turned 18. guess i can wave bye-bye to my best friend, right? everyone demands her attention because shes so gorgeous, and i end up being pushed away, and she usually doesnt notice. ill let her do her thing and mingle with people who just want to use her, and she always comes back to me. but still, its been getting on my nerves big time, and all my other friends know it too. i dont know. ive had "best friends" since ive started grade school, and i still talk to some of them, even if its just over myspace. we'll see where this goes.
can i jump off a bridge now?
i was really aggravated that i didnt get into Cal State Fullerton :/ but i deserve it, i guess, considering i really messed up during Senior year.
and i definitely didnt work to my full potential as being the Editor In Chief for the paper. I was too busy partying and being a big bad senior. i will never forgive myself.
ive thought about joining Fullerton's paper crew, but i feel like i've lost my writing spark. i think it was just a good way to self medicate when i was in deep emotional turmoil. so far, my declared major is journalism. i want to immerse myself in the subject, but im afraid im going to fall off the wagon, quick.
i like to hang out with my friends, meet new people and enjoy my favorite 'liquid courage' drinks (haha, i know) on weekends. i party too hard sometimes, and i end up lagging behind, and my dreams and goals are hazy and a thousand feet behind me.
at least i recognize it.
:/
so, carlos. hes my boyfriend. hes insanely sweet, and i love being with him. he's in a local Anaheim band called The Tequila Worms, and knows everyone in the punk/psychobilly/rockabilly scene. he's 23, and so far i think i've been introduced to more people than i have within the last year put together. its an older crowd, which is cool, because girls and guys my age are really starting to piss me off.
which brings me to Yuliana. shes my best and closest friend. the problem is that shes gorgeous, a model in the making, and shes just turned 18. guess i can wave bye-bye to my best friend, right? everyone demands her attention because shes so gorgeous, and i end up being pushed away, and she usually doesnt notice. ill let her do her thing and mingle with people who just want to use her, and she always comes back to me. but still, its been getting on my nerves big time, and all my other friends know it too. i dont know. ive had "best friends" since ive started grade school, and i still talk to some of them, even if its just over myspace. we'll see where this goes.
can i jump off a bridge now?