More thoughts from "Making Peace with Your Past"
In the following chapters after the self assessments of past wounds, Wright deals with resentments, changing and how to deal with these discoveries. I found allot of it to be to be tried and true methodologies of both cognitive behavioral therapy and good Christian counseling.
The primary task after recognizing that you are still affected by misdeeds of parents and important people in your past is to learn to fight the lies that the enemy is glad you’ve adopted. This is a very rational exercise that pays off later on with an emotional reward.
As a side note, allot of Christians shy away from practices that therapists have used for growth. I’d like to point out that many principals of biblical spiritual growth have also been “developed” in later years by secular psychologists. Some Christians, fearful of the influence of the godless psychologists toss out anything that is associated with them. Be careful with that. Lies are only plausible when mixed with enough truth to get them passed through. Don’t be so reactionary. If a therapy works, there’s a good chance that a Biblical principal is being exploited. Discover that principal and claim it for yourself.
Here’s an example; I won’t bother naming the many theoretical approaches that have adapted this timeless truth into their own worldviews but it’s a simple biblical principal:
...casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ… (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Take every thought captive. Your parents, God bless them for doing as well as they did, lied to you. How do I know? Because they are humans and every human lies from time to time. Maybe they called you stupid. Maybe they considered you lazy or clumsy or just not good enough. Satan is the father of those lies and had a plan to get that lie lodged firmly in your mind. But everything that Satan has ever used to try to destroy you with, God has in fact used for His own purposes.
As I was talking with a friend about this (in the last entries talk pages) I realized that some of the lies that had been affecting me were the very things that shaped my personality into a compassionate counselor and a good listener. I craved approval because I never believed I had earned it.
Regardless, now the task that is before you is defeating those lies about you that you still hold on to. We need to learn to think of ourselves the way God thinks about us.
In the opening chapter of Ephesians Paul reminds the reader of God’s unearned loving kindness over and over to the reader; “…according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself” (1:9). There was nothing you could do to cause God to love you so much. He decided a long time ago “according to the good pleasure of His will..” that He was going to adopt you and that He was going to make you worthy of being adopted. How many lies does that cut through?
“You’re not worthy!” Of course I’m not but it’s ok. J God is making me worthy. “You aren’t lovely!” Well, God loves me.. whose opinion is greater than God? “You’ll never read/study/pray/have faith enough to be acceptable or holy” Can you beat that lie? I challenge you my friend to read through the opening to Ephesians. Take with you those lies that stuck to your heart. See what God says about them in light of that Scripture.
It brings me a lot of peace of mind to be able to lay those lies to rest, knowing that my God says entirely different things about me.
In my next entry on this topic I plan to talk about relinquishing the claims you’ve maintained against others. It’s only a natural extension of the grace you’ve received for that to spill over and allow you to have grace on those that have hurt you. I’ll use the tags “Wright” and “Counseling” like I did on this entry if you wish to follow it.
Grace and peace in Christ