(no subject)
I really like the fact that I've had this little old journal for so long. These past two nights, I've just been looking at all the past entries i've made and remember how I used to be before highschool, before running, and before a lot of things. A lot of my pre-running entries make me cringe, a LOT. I sometimes wonder why I even thought so pessimistically and why i was so drawn upon the fact that I needed a girlfriend to find contentness with life. I don't know what running (or maybe its a mix of getting older) has taught me, but i do know that I accept life more thoroughly and have a tendency to just enjoy what comes at me.
One major flaw I did get with running is the fact that before my sophmore year (thats when I started), i had almost 300 entries. So in around 1.5 years I made 300 entries, and then smack dab right after i started running I've cooled down to 162 entries in 2.5 years. It makes the latter part of my highschool seem rather boring. I mean, you can pick any date my ninth grade and 8th grade year, and find me whining about who knows what and why, but only in select places can you find me talking about life any where from sophmore year to now.
Like there is this one private entry February 12, 2002 specifically saying that maybe an older me would understand what i had gone through ( I had just told the girl that i had a crush on that I liked her, the HARDEST thing to do in middle school ). To be honest, that kid back in the 8th grade was like an idiot, courageous, and weirdest kid I know. To be honest, it feels like i don't even KNOW who i was before tenth grade. Like, I don't even remember thinking like that or feeling this way.
When i stumbled upon an entry in november 2003, it made me seriously like, smile and laugh inside. I just posted up something that me and emily were talking about, about her and some guy. I've completely forgotten who the heck we were talking about (i hope she remembers). I guess the fact that in three short months, two people can start talking about intimate details of crushes and what not. Goodness, how silly people are.
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Subject: Let me love you down
Time: 11:51 pm.
Mood: wisdomgiving.
Music: Love you Down- INOJ.
goldie lox: im talkin to ******...
i am ail 3: ohhh....anything happenning there?
goldie lox: not really....he told lorena he was gonna ask me to hang out at knotts but he never did
goldie lox:hes too shy
i am ail 3:open up to him
i am ail 3: it took me a girl to open up to me
i am ail 3: dont tell anyone this
i am ail 3: but
i am ail 3: i was the most shy, most intimidated guy when it came to girls back in like...8th grade
i am ail 3: then. this one girl, took me under her wings, and showed me how to interact with a girl
i am ail 3: and i took off from there
goldie lox: aw how cute haha
---
Since looking back at all these past entries, I've also got enlighted with all the music I use to listen to. Like how i used to listen to Nelly Furtado, but seriously and very honestly, I did not remember even LIKING her! But then i looked up the songs I used to listen to her, and I knew every word! Like wow, I was opening up a whole new universe. Its hard to explain, but, its just shocking how someone could change in as little as five, four, or three years.
Then as I went on a little bit more, the rare event that I DID update, it was good. Like, for snowball my sophmore year, which was wildly fun. I was at that ripe old age of 15, nominated for prince, and going to the dance with someone from another school who was quite the looker. I mean, wow. I danced that night so wildly, I won snowball prince, and my date ACTUALLY had a good time! It was like one of those first few times where I thought, girls enjoy being around me. It was a good feeling.
My summer of my junior year is when I start to truly recognize things like they are now. I experienced wrights for the first time (July 29, 2004), and me getting suddenly very serious about running. I look on the very very few and unfrequent entries and realize that half the time that its about how hard my schedule is my junior year. Bah, that was bad. I think, that, four AP classes and Math Analysis was honestly now a very mixed decision. I became such a bitter old man because of it.
I'm reading a lot of the private entries, and almost 75% of them are from Lorena sending me those cutesy messages she used to give. Those were awesome, i remember how I often enjoyed seeing an entry that was not of mine.
I took a LONG hiatus from LJ from January to April 2005. Wow, no entries in three months. That's pretty long. April 1, 2005. I remember that day.
The summer of my senior year I didn't write about anything at all, and so in turn, I don't remember anything about it. But for now, its way easy for me to remember my freshman, sophmore, and junior summers. Last cross country season seems like eons ago. Too long ago. I think I just dont want to think about it.
I've failed to keep up with little old LJ. It sucks, cause i want to remember who I am in the years to come. I mean, I'll have an idea, but, what I could see can be so much better.
Goodbye and good night!
One major flaw I did get with running is the fact that before my sophmore year (thats when I started), i had almost 300 entries. So in around 1.5 years I made 300 entries, and then smack dab right after i started running I've cooled down to 162 entries in 2.5 years. It makes the latter part of my highschool seem rather boring. I mean, you can pick any date my ninth grade and 8th grade year, and find me whining about who knows what and why, but only in select places can you find me talking about life any where from sophmore year to now.
Like there is this one private entry February 12, 2002 specifically saying that maybe an older me would understand what i had gone through ( I had just told the girl that i had a crush on that I liked her, the HARDEST thing to do in middle school ). To be honest, that kid back in the 8th grade was like an idiot, courageous, and weirdest kid I know. To be honest, it feels like i don't even KNOW who i was before tenth grade. Like, I don't even remember thinking like that or feeling this way.
When i stumbled upon an entry in november 2003, it made me seriously like, smile and laugh inside. I just posted up something that me and emily were talking about, about her and some guy. I've completely forgotten who the heck we were talking about (i hope she remembers). I guess the fact that in three short months, two people can start talking about intimate details of crushes and what not. Goodness, how silly people are.
---
Subject: Let me love you down
Time: 11:51 pm.
Mood: wisdomgiving.
Music: Love you Down- INOJ.
goldie lox: im talkin to ******...
i am ail 3: ohhh....anything happenning there?
goldie lox: not really....he told lorena he was gonna ask me to hang out at knotts but he never did
goldie lox:hes too shy
i am ail 3:open up to him
i am ail 3: it took me a girl to open up to me
i am ail 3: dont tell anyone this
i am ail 3: but
i am ail 3: i was the most shy, most intimidated guy when it came to girls back in like...8th grade
i am ail 3: then. this one girl, took me under her wings, and showed me how to interact with a girl
i am ail 3: and i took off from there
goldie lox: aw how cute haha
---
Since looking back at all these past entries, I've also got enlighted with all the music I use to listen to. Like how i used to listen to Nelly Furtado, but seriously and very honestly, I did not remember even LIKING her! But then i looked up the songs I used to listen to her, and I knew every word! Like wow, I was opening up a whole new universe. Its hard to explain, but, its just shocking how someone could change in as little as five, four, or three years.
Then as I went on a little bit more, the rare event that I DID update, it was good. Like, for snowball my sophmore year, which was wildly fun. I was at that ripe old age of 15, nominated for prince, and going to the dance with someone from another school who was quite the looker. I mean, wow. I danced that night so wildly, I won snowball prince, and my date ACTUALLY had a good time! It was like one of those first few times where I thought, girls enjoy being around me. It was a good feeling.
My summer of my junior year is when I start to truly recognize things like they are now. I experienced wrights for the first time (July 29, 2004), and me getting suddenly very serious about running. I look on the very very few and unfrequent entries and realize that half the time that its about how hard my schedule is my junior year. Bah, that was bad. I think, that, four AP classes and Math Analysis was honestly now a very mixed decision. I became such a bitter old man because of it.
I'm reading a lot of the private entries, and almost 75% of them are from Lorena sending me those cutesy messages she used to give. Those were awesome, i remember how I often enjoyed seeing an entry that was not of mine.
I took a LONG hiatus from LJ from January to April 2005. Wow, no entries in three months. That's pretty long. April 1, 2005. I remember that day.
The summer of my senior year I didn't write about anything at all, and so in turn, I don't remember anything about it. But for now, its way easy for me to remember my freshman, sophmore, and junior summers. Last cross country season seems like eons ago. Too long ago. I think I just dont want to think about it.
I've failed to keep up with little old LJ. It sucks, cause i want to remember who I am in the years to come. I mean, I'll have an idea, but, what I could see can be so much better.
Goodbye and good night!