Candida
Stoopid blarging fargbusting brapstinking skrakduggering Candida!!
(wait - let me start again)
So my "wellness expert" recently took a look at me, had me fill out this questionnaire which included questions like:
* have you taken a lot of antibiotics in your life? (tonnes)
* do you suffer from depression and lack of energy? (yup)
* do you crave sweets and yeasty products like beer? (mmmm... beer...mmm... sweets)
* do you have mood swings? (fuck you! I mean I love you!)
and a host of other questions that related to physical symptoms I have been bitching about to my doctor for a couple of years now. She said "it seems extremely likely according to this you have a systematic and very thorough colony of yeast dug into your intestines..". According to the survey if a male has a score of 140 then chances are you have this problem. My score was 284.
So I am currently making war on the invaders in my gut. No sweets - okay, I can deal. No beer... no sweet frosty cold beer.. oh my precious ambrosia! I yearn for you! (I mean that - since taking steps to fight this thing I crave beer almost as though the nasty little colony in my guts has tendrils up into my brain - like a symbiote or something sinister like that!). I have to eat these things called "vegebales" or "veggetables" or something like that, no bread, nothing good essentially.
On the bright side once I get this licked I should be saner, more energetic, and likely a lot thinner. I shake my fist at my own guts and dream of the massive beer steins that await in the halls of my anscestors once I shake of this buggered up mortal coil!
(wait - let me start again)
So my "wellness expert" recently took a look at me, had me fill out this questionnaire which included questions like:
* have you taken a lot of antibiotics in your life? (tonnes)
* do you suffer from depression and lack of energy? (yup)
* do you crave sweets and yeasty products like beer? (mmmm... beer...mmm... sweets)
* do you have mood swings? (fuck you! I mean I love you!)
and a host of other questions that related to physical symptoms I have been bitching about to my doctor for a couple of years now. She said "it seems extremely likely according to this you have a systematic and very thorough colony of yeast dug into your intestines..". According to the survey if a male has a score of 140 then chances are you have this problem. My score was 284.
So I am currently making war on the invaders in my gut. No sweets - okay, I can deal. No beer... no sweet frosty cold beer.. oh my precious ambrosia! I yearn for you! (I mean that - since taking steps to fight this thing I crave beer almost as though the nasty little colony in my guts has tendrils up into my brain - like a symbiote or something sinister like that!). I have to eat these things called "vegebales" or "veggetables" or something like that, no bread, nothing good essentially.
On the bright side once I get this licked I should be saner, more energetic, and likely a lot thinner. I shake my fist at my own guts and dream of the massive beer steins that await in the halls of my anscestors once I shake of this buggered up mortal coil!