why bother?
the only way to describe me today, my mood...
self-descructive.
tired of myself and wishing change could be immediate. that i could blink and be different.
i hate living in this house now. a place steeped in drama, and couples.
a place i am holed up in more than i would like to be, but that the hell else is there?
nothing. like that hole in this heart is filled with.
maybe a bit dramatic but that's how i feel every day i pull up in front of this house.
that the nothingness is consuming me, but i have no where else to go...
the people here wax and wane.
up and down, like and hate them at the same time.
and for what? why bother feeling anything for any of them?
why bother wanting to hang out with them at all.
"why bother?" and "not like you really care." are the phrases for the day.
...those and "fuck it."
you know? fuck it all.
why the fuck not?
why the fuck should i even care?
even get my fucking hopes up?
have any any fucking hopes for this house and the people within.
sometimes i want to grab people by the shoulders and scream into thier face...tell them what i am thinking and have them acctually respond with more than mystery and indifference. but them nor i never will. [sp]
why bother?
self-descructive.
tired of myself and wishing change could be immediate. that i could blink and be different.
i hate living in this house now. a place steeped in drama, and couples.
a place i am holed up in more than i would like to be, but that the hell else is there?
nothing. like that hole in this heart is filled with.
maybe a bit dramatic but that's how i feel every day i pull up in front of this house.
that the nothingness is consuming me, but i have no where else to go...
the people here wax and wane.
up and down, like and hate them at the same time.
and for what? why bother feeling anything for any of them?
why bother wanting to hang out with them at all.
"why bother?" and "not like you really care." are the phrases for the day.
...those and "fuck it."
you know? fuck it all.
why the fuck not?
why the fuck should i even care?
even get my fucking hopes up?
have any any fucking hopes for this house and the people within.
sometimes i want to grab people by the shoulders and scream into thier face...tell them what i am thinking and have them acctually respond with more than mystery and indifference. but them nor i never will. [sp]
why bother?