Emptiness...
I just have to hold the hate inside. Even now it consumes me. I HATE!!!! So much hate. I'm more angry than I've been in a long time. I'm literally shaking. There's nothing I can do about other people's decisions, and that's what I hate the most. I've lost my sense of control, somehow.
"Can we still be friends? Your an awesome guy." These things just add fuel to the fire of my rage. I want to strike out. Take it out on the one that hurt me. But the only one I have to blame is myself.
I've known too long now. I can't escape it. I'm cursed. That's what I've come to believe. Ever since that day so long ago. Ever since Tiffany White cursed me. Filthy witch. Two day later, my first and only girlfriend broke up with me. I'm surpised I still remember the day. How it all happened. I haven't enjoyed happiness since then, and I probably never will again. All cause I fucked up. I screwed my self over. So now I'm cursed.
Fucking CURSE, I HATE YOU. Stop fucking haunting me. Stop taunting me. I'm sick and tired of being shown what could have been mine, but can't be. And everyone I meet. They have that smile 'cause they can have that LOVE. What a joke. No love for me.
I'm not moping though, I'm not whining or crying. Damnit. Fuck off, leave me alone. Don't give a shit. Maybe I'll get drunk. That usually eases the pain. Helps erase the memories of "good times". Such bullshit. Fuck good times. Just leave me alone and let me be consumed by my anger. That's all I have anymore. That's all I care about. Me. No one else.
My anger and I will get along fine. Just wish the pain was easier. I should be used to this by now. I should know not to make attachments to people. But I go on trusting, hoping one day I'll break the curse. Fuck it, I never will.
Maybe I should act more mature. Be like everyone else and act my age. Well you know what, FUCK YOU. This is me, the heart of me. Anger is all I have, and right now he's my bestfriend.
Peace, Love, and Harmony
Eric
P.S. And someone is getting hurt!!!!
"Can we still be friends? Your an awesome guy." These things just add fuel to the fire of my rage. I want to strike out. Take it out on the one that hurt me. But the only one I have to blame is myself.
I've known too long now. I can't escape it. I'm cursed. That's what I've come to believe. Ever since that day so long ago. Ever since Tiffany White cursed me. Filthy witch. Two day later, my first and only girlfriend broke up with me. I'm surpised I still remember the day. How it all happened. I haven't enjoyed happiness since then, and I probably never will again. All cause I fucked up. I screwed my self over. So now I'm cursed.
Fucking CURSE, I HATE YOU. Stop fucking haunting me. Stop taunting me. I'm sick and tired of being shown what could have been mine, but can't be. And everyone I meet. They have that smile 'cause they can have that LOVE. What a joke. No love for me.
I'm not moping though, I'm not whining or crying. Damnit. Fuck off, leave me alone. Don't give a shit. Maybe I'll get drunk. That usually eases the pain. Helps erase the memories of "good times". Such bullshit. Fuck good times. Just leave me alone and let me be consumed by my anger. That's all I have anymore. That's all I care about. Me. No one else.
My anger and I will get along fine. Just wish the pain was easier. I should be used to this by now. I should know not to make attachments to people. But I go on trusting, hoping one day I'll break the curse. Fuck it, I never will.
Maybe I should act more mature. Be like everyone else and act my age. Well you know what, FUCK YOU. This is me, the heart of me. Anger is all I have, and right now he's my bestfriend.
Peace, Love, and Harmony
Eric
P.S. And someone is getting hurt!!!!