sometimes...
...it seems like no matter what I do, something throws a wrench in the works.
However, sometimes things in my life seem to go well. I'm learning to keep the good and manage the bad and hopefully end up somewhere I feel good.
Funny, a friend of mine, after hearing the recounting of recent events in my life, said "do you think you did something really bad in a previous life" jokingly - if you knew Ian, you'd totally understand why he said that and why he didn't mean it really seriously. But I said "I think I'm taking on some of the debt that has to be repaid for what happened in my life, which is weird, like I'm paying for other peoples' transgressions against me that caused me pain, but that's kind of strange. It just seems like the sense of balance won't be restored until I complete the circle with the business of my father. I'm now wondering if I should change my name when I officially divorce - because I actually feel a connection to that name now.
There's a lot of flotsam and jetsam and ideas and feelings in my head right now, it's no wonder I've got a headache - it feels like all this is bumping up against each other.
But things are changing, and I feel in control (as much as I can) while it happens. That's a start.
However, sometimes things in my life seem to go well. I'm learning to keep the good and manage the bad and hopefully end up somewhere I feel good.
Funny, a friend of mine, after hearing the recounting of recent events in my life, said "do you think you did something really bad in a previous life" jokingly - if you knew Ian, you'd totally understand why he said that and why he didn't mean it really seriously. But I said "I think I'm taking on some of the debt that has to be repaid for what happened in my life, which is weird, like I'm paying for other peoples' transgressions against me that caused me pain, but that's kind of strange. It just seems like the sense of balance won't be restored until I complete the circle with the business of my father. I'm now wondering if I should change my name when I officially divorce - because I actually feel a connection to that name now.
There's a lot of flotsam and jetsam and ideas and feelings in my head right now, it's no wonder I've got a headache - it feels like all this is bumping up against each other.
But things are changing, and I feel in control (as much as I can) while it happens. That's a start.