Application: Toki Wartooth - "Metalocalypse"

[brutalcrumbcake]

Still with his Flying V guitar in hand, Toki found himself standing at the gates of Disney Land. "Wowee." He blinked and looked over his shoulders. Did Pickles put something in his drink? He could have sworn Skwisgaar had just started in on one of his extended guitar solos. Toki was up next to record for the new album too, wasn't this against

Comments

[alcoholit]

"You know, it's probably a very good job people don't go around asking for nosebleeds." Bernard said as he sauntered over, cigarette hanging from his lips, "Although, if you've got a light, I'll let you off your strange conception of the english language."

[brutalcrumbcake]

Toki nodded as a guy this time came over to say hello. He was about to agree with him, when it suddenly made a lot of sense that nosebleed and blowjob were two entirely different things. "Oh. Ooooh. Well, that's gay."

"I thinks my phone has lighter. Holds on." He began to fiddle with the dethphone, making it beep and flash wildly.

[alcoholit]

"Quite literally, sometimes." Bernard looked at Toki's phone sceptically, "They put lighters on those now? Finally, a reason to buy one. Although, do they stop annoying conversations yet?"

[brutalcrumbcake]

"Only ons the dethphone," he replied in a matter-of-fact, smug sort of way. "We approves them ourselves. They kinda hurts you face if you don'ts hold it whats the right ways." Still messing with the phone, Toki added, "And you justs shuts them off whens you don'ts wants annoying conversations. Duh."

[alcoholit]

"You...deathphone? Does it come with the ability to kill people through the phone?" Bernard looked at it curiously, and wondered how easy it would be to steal, "That'd be...useful."

[brutalcrumbcake]

Toki shrugged, "Didn't works so well when we tries to kills that lake troll. I trys it again." He held and started to swing the phone it around by the keychain, only succeeding in hitting himself on the Norwegian noggin and falling over.

"I thinks I got a concussion..." he groaned from the ground. There was a splotch of blood dripping down his face, and his eyes crossed for a moment before he started to grin.

[alcoholit]

Bernard didn't seem to care when he fell over, "Well, you would go and hit yourself on the face. Don't expect sympathy." Bernard had limited sympathy for anyone but himself, mainly.

[brutalcrumbcake]

"Jealous," Toki merely sniffed, getting up and inspecting his Gibson. Not a scratch on it. "I looks totally cool with bloods all over me and yous. Don't."

[alcoholit]

Bernard raised an eyebrow and shook his head, "If by cool, you mean mortally stupid." It was probably a good job the park didn't let you kill yourself. But then again, that meant the idiot was here to stay.

[brutalcrumbcake]

"I means metal." He glared at the man in the suit. "Goils loves bloodys and toughs looking men. And men withs guitars! And men with whats have facial hair on theirs face." He struck a pose. "So goils love Toki."

[alcoholit]

Bernard would have laughed, because he was pretty sure that wasn't how it worked, but then again, what did he know about women, "Girls who also can't speak in the singular?"

[brutalcrumbcake]

"What?" Toki didn't know what this man meant. Everyone else thought he spoke perfectly fine...or he was just too rich to really criticize his English. "Girls what works in porn like Toki."

[alcoholit]

"I'm not surprised. They probably have less braincells than you. Although the more you bash your head on the floor, the more you're coming into contention." Bernard was not amused. He never normally was, unless someone was embarassed.

[brutalcrumbcake]

It was then that Toki hit the right button on the dethphone, and the thing sputtered before shooting off a jet of flames. "You still wants that light?"

[alcoholit]

Bernard was rather bemused by this, but shrugged and held out his cigarette, "Absolutely." He'd lost his lighter somewhere in the process of stealing medicine off Susan. For the millionth time, it seemed.

[brutalcrumbcake]

Risking setting both himself and Bernard on fire, Toki hit the button again and flames shot out of the mobile phone like a flamethrower. He held it out from himself and stepped to the side, really lighting that cigarette on fire. "Yous welcome."