ishvara
it's funny how i had this whole little entry written up about the mundane facts of my current existence. but... really... what about the mysticism in the air right now? it's abundant. the little mundane facts are irrelevant. just roll with where you are. i found this video, and it reminded me of the truth beyond my ego. great kali walks around with me all day (in fact IS ME), and i remember this in a way but i also forget. it's like we have to make time or make space for god- for divinity- for happiness- for realness- but what about all the other moments that we devote to irrelevance, to that strangle of pleasure/pain? where is god? where is kali? right there, watching as we struggle with our neuroses. those neuroses and problems are just dharma, but how often do we forget that? all the time! how often do we think to ourselves, "well, i was having a good day, but then this happened!" it's easy to feel very calm and very spiritual and at one with the universe when the universe doesn't present any obstacles to our plans! but when it does, it's automatic- we snap out of that non-ego (let's be realistic, low-ego) and shift directly to high-ego mode! suddenly we have to "do" things about this troublesome situation which is preventing us from feeling good or happy or at peace! but god, kali, is still right there. it's not like god is there at some times and not at others. for me, if i can put my best efforts into remembering that all moments- this moment- and this- and this- are sacred, eventually a time will come when the obstacle drops and instead of tossing kali out the window of my mind i keep her there, and listen to the situation, and accept the abstract nature of dharma.
this is easier with kali than with other gods because kali is symbolic of destruction... but it would be very possible to do this with a peaceful deity like tara as well.