Band-aid on
Dave and I talked this all through last night, even know my sobbing made everything a little difficult.
I'm not healed yet. Putting a band-aid on a wound doesn't make it dissapear, it just stops the bleeding. I'm still upset and I'm still a little pissed off. But, I'm feeling better. I stopped crying anyway, and can actually talk to Dave without wanting to punch him.
Dave is really good about making me communicate. It's never been one of my stronger suits. I mean, I can write on here all night long, but TELLING someone all this, all my thoughts and feelings is a little bit more difficult for me.
When I think about it all... it still hurts. Still is a very sore spot, probably will be for awhile. A part of me still wants to be mad... like, I feel maybe I wasn't pissed long enough. But that took so much out of me, being angry hurts me so much more than it could ever hurt or help anything or anyone else.
All I got to say is he better make it up to me this weekend.
He's already doing a good job, though. Making sure I know how much he loves me. He had me say aloud last night "Dave loves me," which was kind of cheesy but affective. But... actions mean more than words.
As mad at him as I was, and as much as I didn't want to have anything to do with him... what I really wanted deep down for him to just hold me, kiss me, reassure me that nothing happened and that he wants no one else but me, ever.
And he did that, but he couldn't hold me.
I needed it really bad right then... still do.
But, I'm doing better. The band-aid is on, the bleeding has stopped. Now I just have to wait for it to heal.
But that better not happen again. That is a no-second-chance situation.
I'm not healed yet. Putting a band-aid on a wound doesn't make it dissapear, it just stops the bleeding. I'm still upset and I'm still a little pissed off. But, I'm feeling better. I stopped crying anyway, and can actually talk to Dave without wanting to punch him.
Dave is really good about making me communicate. It's never been one of my stronger suits. I mean, I can write on here all night long, but TELLING someone all this, all my thoughts and feelings is a little bit more difficult for me.
When I think about it all... it still hurts. Still is a very sore spot, probably will be for awhile. A part of me still wants to be mad... like, I feel maybe I wasn't pissed long enough. But that took so much out of me, being angry hurts me so much more than it could ever hurt or help anything or anyone else.
All I got to say is he better make it up to me this weekend.
He's already doing a good job, though. Making sure I know how much he loves me. He had me say aloud last night "Dave loves me," which was kind of cheesy but affective. But... actions mean more than words.
As mad at him as I was, and as much as I didn't want to have anything to do with him... what I really wanted deep down for him to just hold me, kiss me, reassure me that nothing happened and that he wants no one else but me, ever.
And he did that, but he couldn't hold me.
I needed it really bad right then... still do.
But, I'm doing better. The band-aid is on, the bleeding has stopped. Now I just have to wait for it to heal.
But that better not happen again. That is a no-second-chance situation.