Fuck math.
I'm getting tired of always being in such a shitty mood. Occasionally something nice happens, but then next thing you know, back down I go. I feel like I'm in a little dungeon cell, and occasionally the sun shines through the little dinner plate sized window with the bars in it, but most of the time it's all dark because the dungeon is located somewhere dark and dank and without sun a lot of time.
I was doing good wednesday, a little melancholy, but ultimately good. Thursday was nice, as I got an unexpected set of calls from teferi, and it made me happy even if most of the time he was frustrated over the slow progress on getting home. However, tonight it came all crashing down again. All over a stupid argument about the nature of infinity. An argument I knew I was correct about, but because I only understood the concept, I couldn't remember the specifics of what demonstrated the concept to me, I felt like I was pounding my head into a gorram brick wall because all I got in response was "no" over and over again.
I have a hard time being told I'm wrong without explanation, and I couldn't get the right words out to explain why I was right, so all that ended up happening was we were yelling at each other. And when I tried to retreat because I couldn't handle it anymore, I was yelled at for leaving my gorram plate on the table. When I'm getting so frustrated I just want to scream and cry, that is not the time to tell me to not forget about a ruttin' plate for fuck's sake. I wasn't even actually done with my dinner, but I was just so knotted up and frustrated I couldn't eat anymore.
After having to try to defend myself in the argument as I was clearing my plate, and finally just stomping down the stairs once I'd gotten the gorram thing into the dish washer, I was able to google up an example of what I was talking about to support what I was insisting, and emailed it up to my mom's boyfriend... but I'm just so twisted now and everyone I want to talk to in order to calm down are all away for various reasons, or are distracted enough that calming conversation is really impossible. Meh.
And here I thought I was starting to get better again.