I can't remember when I last updated this
I suppose you could look at it as a good thing that I haven't updated this thing in a very long time, for the sole reason that I don't normally update this unless I'm either being a bit upset, extremely bored, or (seldom) extremely disciplined. Life has just been going...
I can't help but notice how fast my life is passing me by, and I'm even joking about it. I knew "before I'd know it," half the semester would be gone. While we're only a few weeks in, before I blink it'll be mini-break and october. Once baseball wraps up my attention, october will be almost done... just a month and a half and I'm done with school. It sounds like a lot now, but considering my life seems to feel as if it passes by "one week at a time," with only 10 or so remaining, the possibilities of what I can do seem somewhat limited.
I'm not sure if it's winter, I'm not sure if it's Alfred, or a combination of many other things but I'm losing that shear happiness that I had this summer. While the semester started off great, it's dulling down faster than I expected. I can always find solace in that I have a single now. There have been times when I just needed to be alone and couldn't really find the space. Now I'm assured it.
There's much more to my discomfort with the current situation now that I think about it... it's simply a lack of simple pleasures. I can't seem to find enough stuff to do or keep me active. I don't like sitting in front of the computer nearly as much as I once did... I think once I started actually doing work on it did I realize how much more fun everything else in life is. The computer seems almost to be a crutch. Sure, you can do some great stuff on it, but I feel like it's never truly made me completly fulfilled. There seems something empty about it, even in its greatest moments... like I'm yearning for more connections somehow.
But that's another problem I'm definitely facing while I'm here. I am not meeting new people. I mean, I have met a few, but shit, I hate most of them. I can't even say it's because I'm resistant to change, it's because I simply know what I want in life better than I ever had before. I can't stand having a semi-friendly relationship with someone, just in hopes that it'll benefit me sometime down the road. I think I need to find more friends...
Well, other than that, my work has been, well, frustrating. It's another piece of the puzzle of discontentment that just adds to the summation of my discomfort. It's not bad, in fact, I like my job. It's just that it hasn't been giving me as much money as I'd hope, along with some annoying extras such as Matt being an occasional douche. I like all the clients though. And I think they all like me. And I love the fact I can walk into my classes with real work experience and insight. My god has it made me so obnoxious and (more) arrogant. I find it hard to pay attention to a class called "Communications in the Workplace" after I just have given a client a walk-through of a nice Content Management System and had them tell me "excellent job." Can I just put them up to the fucking phone and have the professor give me the day off? I don't need this shit. FUCK YOU ALFRED. I mean, for fuck sakes, I don't need Human Resource Management professors to tell me stupid pseduo-terminology mixed with common sense and bullshit. If I ever run into a problem as a manager, I'll think it out and ask around. Fuck, I don't need a class to tell me about "options to do when downsizing!" Or test me on what's the difference between "Human Resource Planning" and "Human Resource Analysis," fuck you all. Seriously, I 19/20 things I'm told in my classes I just ignore.
It's hard to keep my head up high too eating college food. Shit, I relish every chance I get to go out and eat real food. I just am constantly concerned about budgeting myself appropriately. While I'm hardly broke, I always want to save more than I am. I suppose I should just go out and enjoy myself though, if I'm not happy what's the point in having cash. True true true...
I love waking up early too now. I don't understand why.. although I haven't been recently, I love waking up 2 or 3 hours early for class, doing homeworking, showering, and eating breakfast all before I get to class. It's so sweet to have an instantly productive day. For me waking up at noon now is an extremely late start. I don't get how that change happened... but I suppose it has something to do with having a single and a job that I'm fairly responsible for, and also have enough freedom that I could hang myself with if I fucked around. Oh well, I should be fine.
Some other random things, I think I'm going to the city October 2nd w/ my boss, Ceko, maybe Bogdan, and who knows who else to meet with some big investor. If all goes well once we're done w/ this semester I'll be making some decent money. I hope so.
Eh, I'm gonna be completely irresponsible and go out to the bar rather than do my homework. I'll wake up early and do my homework then. :) Gotta love pressure. I feel better just thinking about it.
Goodbye World. Thanks for tuning into my random writing session.
I can't help but notice how fast my life is passing me by, and I'm even joking about it. I knew "before I'd know it," half the semester would be gone. While we're only a few weeks in, before I blink it'll be mini-break and october. Once baseball wraps up my attention, october will be almost done... just a month and a half and I'm done with school. It sounds like a lot now, but considering my life seems to feel as if it passes by "one week at a time," with only 10 or so remaining, the possibilities of what I can do seem somewhat limited.
I'm not sure if it's winter, I'm not sure if it's Alfred, or a combination of many other things but I'm losing that shear happiness that I had this summer. While the semester started off great, it's dulling down faster than I expected. I can always find solace in that I have a single now. There have been times when I just needed to be alone and couldn't really find the space. Now I'm assured it.
There's much more to my discomfort with the current situation now that I think about it... it's simply a lack of simple pleasures. I can't seem to find enough stuff to do or keep me active. I don't like sitting in front of the computer nearly as much as I once did... I think once I started actually doing work on it did I realize how much more fun everything else in life is. The computer seems almost to be a crutch. Sure, you can do some great stuff on it, but I feel like it's never truly made me completly fulfilled. There seems something empty about it, even in its greatest moments... like I'm yearning for more connections somehow.
But that's another problem I'm definitely facing while I'm here. I am not meeting new people. I mean, I have met a few, but shit, I hate most of them. I can't even say it's because I'm resistant to change, it's because I simply know what I want in life better than I ever had before. I can't stand having a semi-friendly relationship with someone, just in hopes that it'll benefit me sometime down the road. I think I need to find more friends...
Well, other than that, my work has been, well, frustrating. It's another piece of the puzzle of discontentment that just adds to the summation of my discomfort. It's not bad, in fact, I like my job. It's just that it hasn't been giving me as much money as I'd hope, along with some annoying extras such as Matt being an occasional douche. I like all the clients though. And I think they all like me. And I love the fact I can walk into my classes with real work experience and insight. My god has it made me so obnoxious and (more) arrogant. I find it hard to pay attention to a class called "Communications in the Workplace" after I just have given a client a walk-through of a nice Content Management System and had them tell me "excellent job." Can I just put them up to the fucking phone and have the professor give me the day off? I don't need this shit. FUCK YOU ALFRED. I mean, for fuck sakes, I don't need Human Resource Management professors to tell me stupid pseduo-terminology mixed with common sense and bullshit. If I ever run into a problem as a manager, I'll think it out and ask around. Fuck, I don't need a class to tell me about "options to do when downsizing!" Or test me on what's the difference between "Human Resource Planning" and "Human Resource Analysis," fuck you all. Seriously, I 19/20 things I'm told in my classes I just ignore.
It's hard to keep my head up high too eating college food. Shit, I relish every chance I get to go out and eat real food. I just am constantly concerned about budgeting myself appropriately. While I'm hardly broke, I always want to save more than I am. I suppose I should just go out and enjoy myself though, if I'm not happy what's the point in having cash. True true true...
I love waking up early too now. I don't understand why.. although I haven't been recently, I love waking up 2 or 3 hours early for class, doing homeworking, showering, and eating breakfast all before I get to class. It's so sweet to have an instantly productive day. For me waking up at noon now is an extremely late start. I don't get how that change happened... but I suppose it has something to do with having a single and a job that I'm fairly responsible for, and also have enough freedom that I could hang myself with if I fucked around. Oh well, I should be fine.
Some other random things, I think I'm going to the city October 2nd w/ my boss, Ceko, maybe Bogdan, and who knows who else to meet with some big investor. If all goes well once we're done w/ this semester I'll be making some decent money. I hope so.
Eh, I'm gonna be completely irresponsible and go out to the bar rather than do my homework. I'll wake up early and do my homework then. :) Gotta love pressure. I feel better just thinking about it.
Goodbye World. Thanks for tuning into my random writing session.