Roll yer britches up...I'm gettin' deep today.
My hours are all jumbled for a few days. This gives me the rare occasion to have time in a house that is silent to sit and think...which is probably detrimental to my health, but oh well. I've fought to get accepted for my bachelor's degree and now I've been accepted....I fought to get the job I want...and now it seems I have it. Nothing I ever had that was worth anything ever fell into my lap or just showed up on my doorstep. I don't think fate works like that. I think the man upstairs wants to see some effort, sweat, and possibly tears before he gives you what you desire, need, or in some ways covet. I believe the effort has to be there...effort is more than the desire...in all things concerning life and those two subjects...that is for sure. Of course, a good girl would merely reapply her lipstick, tidy her hair and move on. I, as a different creature, tend to roll up my sleeves, flex some muscle, and put my back into it. It isn't always perceived as effort. Some see it as a flaw. Silly isn't it...how strength can be a flaw? Some people shrink from someone who knows thier path in life. Some people try to dismantle their lives entirely to make them appear as torn apart as they are inside. I've been ripped to shreds, but I am too stubborn (or possibly stupid) to stop. Why stop? You have to live until you die...and if I'm alive then I'm going to make a life...not merely have one.
"You can try to keep me down, you can try to keep me under, but you'll never take my will...you'll never take my will to fight."
I get a lot of second looks because I have a hard set jaw and somewhat fierce eyes when I'm determined. I have to check myself often to make sure I'm not gritting my back teeth....I want what I am working for that much. Sure, I've had people wish failure upon me and I've had them tell me I won't make it because I don't "fit into the norm" of what society wants.....all I have to say is watch me. I've been held under until breath escaped me before...somehow I found the strength to fight my way back to the surface and grab one more gulp of air. If I were to merely live life and say that I can't do any better or that life is just about the money I spend on nice things for myself then what am I telling my kids? Life is only about possessions? Life is only about fitting in or being the prettiest or most handsome? Life is only about the ones that you can attract to you? I refuse to do that. Life is about doing what you were put here to do...and though it seems a mystery, you can feel the tug of it inside your heart. I will make my life. I will do what I have been called to do. I will embrace who I am, where I came from, and the abilities that God gave me.
Sure, I'm a spitfire, but I've never been anything but.
This is not arrogance...it is not bragging about how strong I think I am. This is believing that I'm going to do something with my life. I know, you all are thinking it is about the money, the house, the car....but no...it's merely about helping those that I can reach with my life, my history, and the very big, loud, voice that God put inside of my little hillbilly heart. It's not that I am so important, but they are...whoever they may be.
EVERYTHING I do impacts hundreds, if not thousands, of others. I have to make sure that all my actions are based on honest emotions, the fight for good over evil, and remember that I'm only the first to feel the effects of my decisions. Life is bigger than me...and it is most certainly bigger than you too.
"I walk out of this darkness with no sense of regret...and I walk with a clear conscience. We both know you can't say that."
"You can try to keep me down, you can try to keep me under, but you'll never take my will...you'll never take my will to fight."
I get a lot of second looks because I have a hard set jaw and somewhat fierce eyes when I'm determined. I have to check myself often to make sure I'm not gritting my back teeth....I want what I am working for that much. Sure, I've had people wish failure upon me and I've had them tell me I won't make it because I don't "fit into the norm" of what society wants.....all I have to say is watch me. I've been held under until breath escaped me before...somehow I found the strength to fight my way back to the surface and grab one more gulp of air. If I were to merely live life and say that I can't do any better or that life is just about the money I spend on nice things for myself then what am I telling my kids? Life is only about possessions? Life is only about fitting in or being the prettiest or most handsome? Life is only about the ones that you can attract to you? I refuse to do that. Life is about doing what you were put here to do...and though it seems a mystery, you can feel the tug of it inside your heart. I will make my life. I will do what I have been called to do. I will embrace who I am, where I came from, and the abilities that God gave me.
Sure, I'm a spitfire, but I've never been anything but.
This is not arrogance...it is not bragging about how strong I think I am. This is believing that I'm going to do something with my life. I know, you all are thinking it is about the money, the house, the car....but no...it's merely about helping those that I can reach with my life, my history, and the very big, loud, voice that God put inside of my little hillbilly heart. It's not that I am so important, but they are...whoever they may be.
EVERYTHING I do impacts hundreds, if not thousands, of others. I have to make sure that all my actions are based on honest emotions, the fight for good over evil, and remember that I'm only the first to feel the effects of my decisions. Life is bigger than me...and it is most certainly bigger than you too.
"I walk out of this darkness with no sense of regret...and I walk with a clear conscience. We both know you can't say that."