Representing the Interests of Female Shinigami Everywhere
Rukia had always had a vague horror of the Shinigami Women's Association.
Now she attended their bi-weekly meetings.
"Ichi should be next!" Yachiru declares.
"That's actually a good idea," says Matsumoto, leaning over the arm of the couch so her breasts are in Rukia's lap as she hands her a drink. Rukia has been to enough of these meetings now to take the cup and not ask any questions. "He's never been photographed for the calendar, either~!"
"Um." Rukia says. "You realize Ichigo will never agree to any of this."
Soi Fong snorts. "You don't really think Yachiru cares about consent, do you?"
"I…" Rukia looks at Yachiru, writing something in Nanao's notebook with a grin that is… disturbing. Nanao looks resigned.
"Surely Rukia can talk her captain into showing some chest long enough for one of us to snap a picture," Matsumoto says with a sly smile. Rukia chokes on her sake.
Matsumoto slaps her on the back a few times, rather harder than is necessary, but it's no more than Rukia expects - she doesn't have any friends who'd think to slap gently.
"Are you all right?" Matsumoto's grey-blue eyes are large and concerned and right in Rukia's face. All things considered, it's probably an improvement.
"Fine," Rukia says, hacking a little. "Thank you. Ah…"
Matsumoto leans back. "Hmmm?"
"Rukia will do it, won't you!" Kiyone cheers from the other side of the room. Isane, next to her, makes embarrassed shushing motions.
"I don't think so," Rukia says, and it sure is nice to be Kiyone's superior rather than her subordinate.
"But Rukia!"
"Flatty has to do it!" Yachiru wails.
Rukia's head aches. Just when she'd been starting to think these meetings weren't so bad. She should've known better.
"I think you're all confused about the kind of relationship Ichigo and I have," she says, as primly as she can manage - and she is a Kuchiki, so she can manage quite a bit of prim. "I couldn't just ask him to remove his kimono. He'd worry I was ill."
Disappointed and skeptical looks abound. Rukia sinks into the couch cushions a little. "But," she offers.
Expectant silence. Rukia swallows.
"But?" Hinamori prompts gently. Her too? Ichigo's chest? Really?
"But…" Rukia repeats slowly. "If all you want is to see him shirtless… why not get him in a fight?"
"Ehhh?" says Matsumoto. Under the surprise, Rukia thinks she detects a note of pride. She's not sure how to feel about that. She takes a sip from what's left of her sake.
"Or several fights, really. You must have noticed! The more beat up he gets, the less he wears."
"None of us has seen Orange-Head beat up as often as Flatty-Rukia has!" Yachiru says, like this is a tragic failure on her part. Then she brightens. "But I'll tell Ken-chan! He'll be so happy to fight Ichi again!" She gives herself a short round of applause.
Rukia chooses not to point out that Ichigo has been actively avoiding fights with Captain Zaraki since beating him that first time. Instead, she holds her cup out to Matsumoto, who smiles broadly and pours her more sake.
"But someone should get Ichi warmed up for Ken-chan! I can make Cue-ball Head do it…" Yachiru puts a finger to her mouth thoughtfully.
"I wouldn't mind taking a little stab at him myself," Matsumoto says, and winks at Rukia. Rukia frowns. Matsumoto continues, "And isn't Abarai always wanting to fight him?"
"Renji? Well…" Rukia strains to think of something to say that isn't, "yes." She fails.
Hinamori snickers behind her hand. "Abarai-kun will definitely fight Captain Kurosaki if Kuchiki asks! The problem might be to get them to stop fighting…"
"I'm sure that will all lead to excellent photos," Nanao says, pushing up her glasses, "but how will we get the interview?"
Rukia tries to disappear into her sake again.
Now she attended their bi-weekly meetings.
"Ichi should be next!" Yachiru declares.
"That's actually a good idea," says Matsumoto, leaning over the arm of the couch so her breasts are in Rukia's lap as she hands her a drink. Rukia has been to enough of these meetings now to take the cup and not ask any questions. "He's never been photographed for the calendar, either~!"
"Um." Rukia says. "You realize Ichigo will never agree to any of this."
Soi Fong snorts. "You don't really think Yachiru cares about consent, do you?"
"I…" Rukia looks at Yachiru, writing something in Nanao's notebook with a grin that is… disturbing. Nanao looks resigned.
"Surely Rukia can talk her captain into showing some chest long enough for one of us to snap a picture," Matsumoto says with a sly smile. Rukia chokes on her sake.
Matsumoto slaps her on the back a few times, rather harder than is necessary, but it's no more than Rukia expects - she doesn't have any friends who'd think to slap gently.
"Are you all right?" Matsumoto's grey-blue eyes are large and concerned and right in Rukia's face. All things considered, it's probably an improvement.
"Fine," Rukia says, hacking a little. "Thank you. Ah…"
Matsumoto leans back. "Hmmm?"
"Rukia will do it, won't you!" Kiyone cheers from the other side of the room. Isane, next to her, makes embarrassed shushing motions.
"I don't think so," Rukia says, and it sure is nice to be Kiyone's superior rather than her subordinate.
"But Rukia!"
"Flatty has to do it!" Yachiru wails.
Rukia's head aches. Just when she'd been starting to think these meetings weren't so bad. She should've known better.
"I think you're all confused about the kind of relationship Ichigo and I have," she says, as primly as she can manage - and she is a Kuchiki, so she can manage quite a bit of prim. "I couldn't just ask him to remove his kimono. He'd worry I was ill."
Disappointed and skeptical looks abound. Rukia sinks into the couch cushions a little. "But," she offers.
Expectant silence. Rukia swallows.
"But?" Hinamori prompts gently. Her too? Ichigo's chest? Really?
"But…" Rukia repeats slowly. "If all you want is to see him shirtless… why not get him in a fight?"
"Ehhh?" says Matsumoto. Under the surprise, Rukia thinks she detects a note of pride. She's not sure how to feel about that. She takes a sip from what's left of her sake.
"Or several fights, really. You must have noticed! The more beat up he gets, the less he wears."
"None of us has seen Orange-Head beat up as often as Flatty-Rukia has!" Yachiru says, like this is a tragic failure on her part. Then she brightens. "But I'll tell Ken-chan! He'll be so happy to fight Ichi again!" She gives herself a short round of applause.
Rukia chooses not to point out that Ichigo has been actively avoiding fights with Captain Zaraki since beating him that first time. Instead, she holds her cup out to Matsumoto, who smiles broadly and pours her more sake.
"But someone should get Ichi warmed up for Ken-chan! I can make Cue-ball Head do it…" Yachiru puts a finger to her mouth thoughtfully.
"I wouldn't mind taking a little stab at him myself," Matsumoto says, and winks at Rukia. Rukia frowns. Matsumoto continues, "And isn't Abarai always wanting to fight him?"
"Renji? Well…" Rukia strains to think of something to say that isn't, "yes." She fails.
Hinamori snickers behind her hand. "Abarai-kun will definitely fight Captain Kurosaki if Kuchiki asks! The problem might be to get them to stop fighting…"
"I'm sure that will all lead to excellent photos," Nanao says, pushing up her glasses, "but how will we get the interview?"
Rukia tries to disappear into her sake again.