(no subject)
i keep looking at everyone and imagining them dead now. i feel sick to my stomach with anger and regret all aimed toward myself. how could i have participated in something so dangerous and selfish? i won't be a part of it anymore. seeing dead body cadavers for biology class and seeing people that have died for such a shallow useless cause are completely different experiences. to add just seeing the face... and hearing some of the story... it seriously makes me so unhappy with my own actions.
i don't know if anyone heard about the mother and her 2 children who got killed just recently by a drunk driver... but i saw them all today. i can't even explain what it was like to see this five year old lifeless, cold, precious naked girl... to see her face concaved... half the face missing... to see a 13 year old boy with his ribs open... to see brains from a 2 year old boy on his clothing... to see her bloody hello kitty jumper... to have an 18 year old with tubes sticking out of everywhich way.... all sewn up... bruised dead from speeding... to know he's just 2 years younger then me... to imagine my mom having the coroner investigator come to her door and have to tell her her daughter is dead. what have i been thinking? jesus her mother died by a drunk driver... how could i ever have even thought to get behind the wheel and drive???
i feel numb, but horribly numb... numb like i want to cry... numb cos why wasn't it me? the asshole the decides to do the drunk driving instead of a child walking across the street.... i fucking refuse REFUSE to be a part of drunk driving ever again. honestly the bus is easy enough, walking, taxi, anything is worth not supporting this fucking repulsive behavior... please dont drive drunk... i dont want people i love to get hurt, i dont want the people i love to hurt other people... ughhhhh
afterward i called my mom and told her how much i love her. its the only thing i could think to do.
i don't know if anyone heard about the mother and her 2 children who got killed just recently by a drunk driver... but i saw them all today. i can't even explain what it was like to see this five year old lifeless, cold, precious naked girl... to see her face concaved... half the face missing... to see a 13 year old boy with his ribs open... to see brains from a 2 year old boy on his clothing... to see her bloody hello kitty jumper... to have an 18 year old with tubes sticking out of everywhich way.... all sewn up... bruised dead from speeding... to know he's just 2 years younger then me... to imagine my mom having the coroner investigator come to her door and have to tell her her daughter is dead. what have i been thinking? jesus her mother died by a drunk driver... how could i ever have even thought to get behind the wheel and drive???
i feel numb, but horribly numb... numb like i want to cry... numb cos why wasn't it me? the asshole the decides to do the drunk driving instead of a child walking across the street.... i fucking refuse REFUSE to be a part of drunk driving ever again. honestly the bus is easy enough, walking, taxi, anything is worth not supporting this fucking repulsive behavior... please dont drive drunk... i dont want people i love to get hurt, i dont want the people i love to hurt other people... ughhhhh
afterward i called my mom and told her how much i love her. its the only thing i could think to do.