FAMILY
I want a new family.
Not that there's something horribly wrong with mine, but they're, well, less than supportive. I mean, there are a lot of worse people someone could have, and I'm glad I don't have too many problems with them. But if I had to do a survey on them, I would have to choose a 3 on a 1 to 5 scale. Neither really satisfied nor really dissatisfied.
Let's start with my dad. I haven't talked to him in about 4 years. But I don't want to talk to him; he was a bad father. Then again, let's not talk about my father.
My mother. I can deal with her a lot better now that I'm 240 miles away from her and I don't have to rely on her as my caretaker. But what I really hate is that she only calls me to bitch about her life. She never listens to me. She never calls just to see what's going on with me. You know those people that ask "how's it going?" just because they want a polite way to vault into their own woes? That's my mom.
I haven't talked to my brother since the last time I visited, which was Christmas. I really like my brother, but it's his wife I don't like. She's very self centered and is always ordering my brother around. He's a really smart guy and he could have done a lot with his life, but I think he made a mistake getting married, and then they had a kid within nine months. I know he loves my niece and would do anything for her, but I think they did it way too fast and should have waited until they were more financially stable. I never get to talk to him unless I go see them, because he's too busy working two jobs to support their family. Plus I think his wife doesn't let him have friends. At Christmas, we went to the mall for last minute shopping, and he said that was the first time he had been out in quite a while. First time going out. With his sister. Who travelled 240 miles. That's what it takes for his wife to let him go out.
The worst part about it is that they never make an effort to see me. I've lived down here for two years and the only time anyone attempted it was when my mother was in Seattle with her boyfriend and wanted to stop by. She called me the middle of the day on Saturday. How can I get work off that soon? And she couldn't make it Sunday because she had other plans. My brother and sister in law have never made an effort to visit. Oh sure, be mad at me because I sound selfish. "They have a kid" you're probably saying. "They don't have time/money to travel that far. And with a little kid?" Not so. My mother would be more than happy to watch my niece (she does all the time anyway) or they ALL could come down . My mother has reliable transportation that would fit them all, and the drive isn't that bad. As far as money, my mother has enough money to go to Seattle (same amount of time, slightly different direction) and my brother and sister in law go to Renn Faires fairly often.
So why couldn't they make the effort to come see me? I have enough room in my apartment, maybe a little cramped with a two year old, but there are plenty of things to do and see and inexpensive hotel rooms nearby. Hell, I'm five minutes away from the airport, there's hotels everywhere.
Maybe I don't feel like part of the family anymore. Maybe I feel like they don't love me. Maybe I'm not important to them anymore. Maybe I'm just being a big whiney emo baby. But they could make an effort. I've made mine.
Can I have a new family now?
Not that there's something horribly wrong with mine, but they're, well, less than supportive. I mean, there are a lot of worse people someone could have, and I'm glad I don't have too many problems with them. But if I had to do a survey on them, I would have to choose a 3 on a 1 to 5 scale. Neither really satisfied nor really dissatisfied.
Let's start with my dad. I haven't talked to him in about 4 years. But I don't want to talk to him; he was a bad father. Then again, let's not talk about my father.
My mother. I can deal with her a lot better now that I'm 240 miles away from her and I don't have to rely on her as my caretaker. But what I really hate is that she only calls me to bitch about her life. She never listens to me. She never calls just to see what's going on with me. You know those people that ask "how's it going?" just because they want a polite way to vault into their own woes? That's my mom.
I haven't talked to my brother since the last time I visited, which was Christmas. I really like my brother, but it's his wife I don't like. She's very self centered and is always ordering my brother around. He's a really smart guy and he could have done a lot with his life, but I think he made a mistake getting married, and then they had a kid within nine months. I know he loves my niece and would do anything for her, but I think they did it way too fast and should have waited until they were more financially stable. I never get to talk to him unless I go see them, because he's too busy working two jobs to support their family. Plus I think his wife doesn't let him have friends. At Christmas, we went to the mall for last minute shopping, and he said that was the first time he had been out in quite a while. First time going out. With his sister. Who travelled 240 miles. That's what it takes for his wife to let him go out.
The worst part about it is that they never make an effort to see me. I've lived down here for two years and the only time anyone attempted it was when my mother was in Seattle with her boyfriend and wanted to stop by. She called me the middle of the day on Saturday. How can I get work off that soon? And she couldn't make it Sunday because she had other plans. My brother and sister in law have never made an effort to visit. Oh sure, be mad at me because I sound selfish. "They have a kid" you're probably saying. "They don't have time/money to travel that far. And with a little kid?" Not so. My mother would be more than happy to watch my niece (she does all the time anyway) or they ALL could come down . My mother has reliable transportation that would fit them all, and the drive isn't that bad. As far as money, my mother has enough money to go to Seattle (same amount of time, slightly different direction) and my brother and sister in law go to Renn Faires fairly often.
So why couldn't they make the effort to come see me? I have enough room in my apartment, maybe a little cramped with a two year old, but there are plenty of things to do and see and inexpensive hotel rooms nearby. Hell, I'm five minutes away from the airport, there's hotels everywhere.
Maybe I don't feel like part of the family anymore. Maybe I feel like they don't love me. Maybe I'm not important to them anymore. Maybe I'm just being a big whiney emo baby. But they could make an effort. I've made mine.
Can I have a new family now?