Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that...
SO, I've been trying to write more...again. But, as an interlude to my writing, I figured I'd post some life stuff. Just...'cause. heh So, feel free to ignore, the real life stuff will be under the cut.
Sooooo, last semester was hard. Like, super hard. Like, my worst semester ever. I was driving 8 hours every weekend and it was making school super tough. I was really unhappy, and really lonely. The lonely thing was weird 'cause...I mean, I was around people all the time but...I don't know, I was just lonely.
While I was driving home every weekend, I was working. At work I wasn't really paying attention to much of anything. I didn't know what drama was going on, I didn't know what was going down behind the scenes. So, one weekend I found out that the one guy at work that I could see myself hooking up with, the married one, had been getting a divorce for the last month. I slept with him that night. That's where it started, that's when I started sleeping with the head therapist at work.
We went out on a real date the Saturday after Christmas and...shit, I had a good time. Which...I don't date guys. I sleep with them, and then I go away. That's my MO. And, I guess it's a little hard because I work with him but still... Anyway, we went to see a movie. Then, we got food. Then, we went back to my empty house and had us some fun. All of this was nice, all of this made me really happy. And, that right there is how it's been for the last month or so. We go out, we hang out at one of our places, we have sex.
It freaks me out. I'm not used to liking people like that...really liking them.
Then, one night after we'd gone to see a movie and grabbed some dinner, we're at his apartment talking about something. Then we're kissing, then we're moving into his room. We kissing standing at the edge of his bed when...he hugs me. Like, he'd had a hand on my waste and a hand on my neck and he moved them around me. I kinda froze for a minute, surprised. But then I tentatively hugged him back. We stood like that for a minute or two.
We pulled apart, and I think we just started kissing again, I don't know it's kind of fuzzy. Anyway, so we're laying on the bed making out and he lays back for a minute and just starts staring at the ceiling. Well, I know something was off after the hug so I'm just laying there watching him. As I'm watching I see his eyes started to go glassy. Shit, I was freaking out in my head. We talked a lot that night. He told me about his brother, and cheating on his wife, and all of this shit. And, I mean, I reacted correctly I know 'cause I'm good at that, but in my head I was flipping out.
We talked, we joked, he relaxed a little, we had sex. It was an interesting night. As we left, him going to work and me heading home, he asked me to call him later. I suddenly felt like the guy, it was odd.
We proceeded to spend the night with each other every night that week. Like, he stayed at my house that night and the next today we hung out until like 1:30pm. It...I like him. Shit. I fucking like him. Fuck me.
Then, Friday comes and I see him at work after seeing him that morning and I'm like, "Wanna hang out tonight?" (which, he'd said the morning that I should give him a call later if I wanted to hang out that night) to which he replies, "I don't know. I'm kind of in a funky place today. But, why don't you give me a call when you get off (I get off like 5 hours after him)." SO, I thought about that for like an hour while I was giving a massage. Then, I saw him in the break room later and I was like, "Look, you do seem kind of funky today and we have been spending a lot of time together, and I really don't wanna deal with pushing that. So, I get off at ten. Why don't you just give me a call later if you wanna hang out and if not I'll see you in two weeks (Because, I was leaving for school Sunday and it was Friday and he was doing this Expo thing Saturday so I wouldn't see him at work)." He said that was probably what would happen 'cause he had to be up early the next morning, but he was still fine with me crashing at his place the weekend I came back into town (which I'd asked him about beforehand).
I just...it felt off. I don't know. I didn't see him that night, I wasn't supposed to see him the next day but he happened to show up at work (while I was going on my break) to drop some stuff up and pick up his car (which is really just my luck). We talked a bit, but not much. Then, when I went to leave town the next day I realized I hadn't filled out my direct deposit form so I needed to go by work and do that. He was standing in the office when I got there, of course. I started filling it out in the office. They asked if I could fill it out in the back so they could do some work. When I headed to the back he followed me. I filled it out, him and I bantered, there was someone in the break room so we didn't really talk. I stood up to head to the front, he followed me. He did something in one of the closets at work, I followed him. Then, he pulled me into his massage room and gave me a kiss. It was sweet and nice. He then patted me on the lower back when I turned and was like, get out of here.
I felt better after that kiss, but now I'm like fucking worried he's gonna forget about me. It's stupid, but...I don't know. Gah, I feel like such a girl.
He has said he's gonna try to head up with my friend to come to my birthday party, which is nice since I live 4 hours away. I'm just...I don't know, I like him. *sigh*
Yeah, that's the most notable change in my life recently. heh
Sooooo, last semester was hard. Like, super hard. Like, my worst semester ever. I was driving 8 hours every weekend and it was making school super tough. I was really unhappy, and really lonely. The lonely thing was weird 'cause...I mean, I was around people all the time but...I don't know, I was just lonely.
While I was driving home every weekend, I was working. At work I wasn't really paying attention to much of anything. I didn't know what drama was going on, I didn't know what was going down behind the scenes. So, one weekend I found out that the one guy at work that I could see myself hooking up with, the married one, had been getting a divorce for the last month. I slept with him that night. That's where it started, that's when I started sleeping with the head therapist at work.
We went out on a real date the Saturday after Christmas and...shit, I had a good time. Which...I don't date guys. I sleep with them, and then I go away. That's my MO. And, I guess it's a little hard because I work with him but still... Anyway, we went to see a movie. Then, we got food. Then, we went back to my empty house and had us some fun. All of this was nice, all of this made me really happy. And, that right there is how it's been for the last month or so. We go out, we hang out at one of our places, we have sex.
It freaks me out. I'm not used to liking people like that...really liking them.
Then, one night after we'd gone to see a movie and grabbed some dinner, we're at his apartment talking about something. Then we're kissing, then we're moving into his room. We kissing standing at the edge of his bed when...he hugs me. Like, he'd had a hand on my waste and a hand on my neck and he moved them around me. I kinda froze for a minute, surprised. But then I tentatively hugged him back. We stood like that for a minute or two.
We pulled apart, and I think we just started kissing again, I don't know it's kind of fuzzy. Anyway, so we're laying on the bed making out and he lays back for a minute and just starts staring at the ceiling. Well, I know something was off after the hug so I'm just laying there watching him. As I'm watching I see his eyes started to go glassy. Shit, I was freaking out in my head. We talked a lot that night. He told me about his brother, and cheating on his wife, and all of this shit. And, I mean, I reacted correctly I know 'cause I'm good at that, but in my head I was flipping out.
We talked, we joked, he relaxed a little, we had sex. It was an interesting night. As we left, him going to work and me heading home, he asked me to call him later. I suddenly felt like the guy, it was odd.
We proceeded to spend the night with each other every night that week. Like, he stayed at my house that night and the next today we hung out until like 1:30pm. It...I like him. Shit. I fucking like him. Fuck me.
Then, Friday comes and I see him at work after seeing him that morning and I'm like, "Wanna hang out tonight?" (which, he'd said the morning that I should give him a call later if I wanted to hang out that night) to which he replies, "I don't know. I'm kind of in a funky place today. But, why don't you give me a call when you get off (I get off like 5 hours after him)." SO, I thought about that for like an hour while I was giving a massage. Then, I saw him in the break room later and I was like, "Look, you do seem kind of funky today and we have been spending a lot of time together, and I really don't wanna deal with pushing that. So, I get off at ten. Why don't you just give me a call later if you wanna hang out and if not I'll see you in two weeks (Because, I was leaving for school Sunday and it was Friday and he was doing this Expo thing Saturday so I wouldn't see him at work)." He said that was probably what would happen 'cause he had to be up early the next morning, but he was still fine with me crashing at his place the weekend I came back into town (which I'd asked him about beforehand).
I just...it felt off. I don't know. I didn't see him that night, I wasn't supposed to see him the next day but he happened to show up at work (while I was going on my break) to drop some stuff up and pick up his car (which is really just my luck). We talked a bit, but not much. Then, when I went to leave town the next day I realized I hadn't filled out my direct deposit form so I needed to go by work and do that. He was standing in the office when I got there, of course. I started filling it out in the office. They asked if I could fill it out in the back so they could do some work. When I headed to the back he followed me. I filled it out, him and I bantered, there was someone in the break room so we didn't really talk. I stood up to head to the front, he followed me. He did something in one of the closets at work, I followed him. Then, he pulled me into his massage room and gave me a kiss. It was sweet and nice. He then patted me on the lower back when I turned and was like, get out of here.
I felt better after that kiss, but now I'm like fucking worried he's gonna forget about me. It's stupid, but...I don't know. Gah, I feel like such a girl.
He has said he's gonna try to head up with my friend to come to my birthday party, which is nice since I live 4 hours away. I'm just...I don't know, I like him. *sigh*
Yeah, that's the most notable change in my life recently. heh