Not exactly a username I'd ever want, but...
"Turd flipper," I have decided, is my actual title at work.
Most of the day I respond to requests that send me sifting through a big pile of turds. Usually I need to look for specific chunks of turd in the pile, flip them over, move them, or stir them around a bit. Less often I need to place new material on the pile-which quickly becomes encased with turdiness and contributes to the pile.
There is no way to do this without getting shit all over yourself.
Sometimes I get distracted, trying to come up with a system that isn't made of... turds. Unfortunately, I have little time to do this, and when I stop monkeying around the pile of turds in need of flipping has only grown.
It doesn't take a spatilomancer to see where this pile is headed.
Nowhere.
I've had jobs where I was literally paid to wipe asses that were, overall, more enjoyable. Or maybe that's just perspective.