More contemplation....
I am getting frustrated. Not just with myself this time but.... in general. I feel like I am trying so hard to follow our conductor in the pit (because that's what she expects, wants and needs etc.) that everything else I am doing on stage is starting to suffer. And now, things I thought were going well, apparently aren't and things that I think are abysmal and need LOTS of work... they are being completely ignored. I feel like I'm not being heard. I've asked several times if we can take this solo or that solo slower/ faster or take a pause here or there so I can get a big breath etc.... and its just being dimissed or nodded off as unimportant. Its important to me. I don't want to screw this up. I can do this part and do it well.... but I feel like I'm not being given the opportunity. I just need to be given the time to breathe. I want to work with these people and not against them but I NEED things and am not feeling like asking politely is getting me anywhere. Frustration abounds.
That being said, tonight we are moving on to Act 2 blocking instead of beating Act 1 into the ground some more so.... here's to hoping this all goes well. I have 2 very difficult duets in Act 2 and my HARDEST solo as well.... right before I have to die on stage. Not terribly sure which scares me more.... this particular solo or having to die on stage in grand and realistic fashion.
That being said, tonight we are moving on to Act 2 blocking instead of beating Act 1 into the ground some more so.... here's to hoping this all goes well. I have 2 very difficult duets in Act 2 and my HARDEST solo as well.... right before I have to die on stage. Not terribly sure which scares me more.... this particular solo or having to die on stage in grand and realistic fashion.