Emo to the max
I want to cry. Don't ask me why. I need the release. I need the rushing torent or tears down my face, the quick and ever in creasing inhalation of breath, the loud heart wrenching sobs bursting from my lips. I need that. I haven't done that in ever so long.
But I can't. I can't let him get to me again. I can't let life crash down upon me once more. I can't let my parents hear me and rush to my room to see what's the matter. Cause I can't tell them. I can't even tell myself. I feel so used. I'm exhausted trying to make myself a better person and trying to find a new outlook on life. I just wanna be six again when booboos stopped hurting once momma put a band aid on it. Or when all you need is a lollipop to make a shot stop hurting. I want to cry.
I want someone to hold me tightly and kiss my forehead and rock me back and forth while the tears and the pain just pour out. Why can't I have that? Is it too much to ask for someone to truly care about me?? Someone there day or night? Just waiting to help me in an hour of need?
No, I don't want someone who is obsessed or doesn't have a life, but I do want someone who considers me to be an important part of it. I don't want togo back to what I was doing to myself. Ihave enough scars as it is and I don't need anymore (emotional or physical) I need to cry and I need to run away to France. Start over and forget everything and everyone that could possible remind me of the past.
I hurt. And I can't let it out. And it just makes it hurt all the more.
But I can't. I can't let him get to me again. I can't let life crash down upon me once more. I can't let my parents hear me and rush to my room to see what's the matter. Cause I can't tell them. I can't even tell myself. I feel so used. I'm exhausted trying to make myself a better person and trying to find a new outlook on life. I just wanna be six again when booboos stopped hurting once momma put a band aid on it. Or when all you need is a lollipop to make a shot stop hurting. I want to cry.
I want someone to hold me tightly and kiss my forehead and rock me back and forth while the tears and the pain just pour out. Why can't I have that? Is it too much to ask for someone to truly care about me?? Someone there day or night? Just waiting to help me in an hour of need?
No, I don't want someone who is obsessed or doesn't have a life, but I do want someone who considers me to be an important part of it. I don't want togo back to what I was doing to myself. Ihave enough scars as it is and I don't need anymore (emotional or physical) I need to cry and I need to run away to France. Start over and forget everything and everyone that could possible remind me of the past.
I hurt. And I can't let it out. And it just makes it hurt all the more.