breakup chronicles
It's been ups and downs this week. I'm starting to realize that we weren't right together, but I still love and miss him terribly. At times I wish I'd never met him, or that I'd left him the first time he made me feel bad about myself or yelled at me, because the rough patches were awful. Other times, I just wish we'd found a way to make it work, because he was incredibly affectionate and loyal, and we did work really well together.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm better off. Maybe there's someone better out there for me. I don't feel like dating, and probably won't until some cute guy grabs my attention. But my friends and family are being very supportive, so sometimes, I feel okay. Other times, I cannot deal. I try hanging out with acquaintances, but it's weird, because we're not that close. I've been trying to do things that I know make me happy, like shopping, seeing friends, taking time with my makeup, dressing nice. At times, nothing works. I feel lost and flat.
Today my parents helped me move my stuff from the apartment to my childhood bedroom. A few days ago, I left a party just as Devin was arriving. It's too weird and I wish there was an easy fix for this. I feel like there's no outlet for my romantic love or affection now, and I'm still terrified that he'll start dating long before I'm ready to cope with that. And it's a lot like losing my best friend; at least once a day something will happen that I'll want to tell him about before realizing we're not really on those terms anymore.
A week ago I was getting dumped. I've moved out, started tying up loose ends, sought support, and been good to myself. I'm not sleeping well or eating normally, but I'm more or less caught up with school, and have been pleasant at work (although dealing with people shopping for engagement rings is really hard). I'm functional, though not happy. I guess for a week in, I'm not doing too bad.
Still wishing for a time machine to take me to the point where I'm okay and happy, though.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm better off. Maybe there's someone better out there for me. I don't feel like dating, and probably won't until some cute guy grabs my attention. But my friends and family are being very supportive, so sometimes, I feel okay. Other times, I cannot deal. I try hanging out with acquaintances, but it's weird, because we're not that close. I've been trying to do things that I know make me happy, like shopping, seeing friends, taking time with my makeup, dressing nice. At times, nothing works. I feel lost and flat.
Today my parents helped me move my stuff from the apartment to my childhood bedroom. A few days ago, I left a party just as Devin was arriving. It's too weird and I wish there was an easy fix for this. I feel like there's no outlet for my romantic love or affection now, and I'm still terrified that he'll start dating long before I'm ready to cope with that. And it's a lot like losing my best friend; at least once a day something will happen that I'll want to tell him about before realizing we're not really on those terms anymore.
A week ago I was getting dumped. I've moved out, started tying up loose ends, sought support, and been good to myself. I'm not sleeping well or eating normally, but I'm more or less caught up with school, and have been pleasant at work (although dealing with people shopping for engagement rings is really hard). I'm functional, though not happy. I guess for a week in, I'm not doing too bad.
Still wishing for a time machine to take me to the point where I'm okay and happy, though.