Jul 24, 2006 23:58
soooo today was an up and down kinda day...it was great at first...i picked my two little cousins up and took them to their swimming lessons and then we went out to lunch. They were so excited to be with me it made me wicked happy...i get to do it again on friday :)...then my dad told me that my grandfather had started moving stuff out of the cabin...it made me sick to my stomach i actually threw up...i cried so frigin hard that i couldnt breathe...thinking of all that ill be giving up when that place is gone makes the pain almost unbearable...my mom the loving person that she is is like oh u just get so emotional about everything ive had that place almost my whole life and im not crying....there is nothing i can do about it...like that makes it hurt any less...to feel utterly helpless...and then the nice added finish they are all going to be sold anyway...i could give a fuck less if i dont know the people that own the other cabins yah hey it may take some getting used to but i dont lose my favorite place on the face of this earth...my mom then said well your only other option is ur father can buy the place...i think i would rather burn it to the ground...the one fucking thing is this whole goddamn world that was mine and not kelly and hunters...the one and only thing and now my dad would take that away from me...he wouldnt do it to be mean but he wouldnt get it b/c nobody does...i mean it sounds dumb doesnt it...lose the place or allow the step family to go there too...i couldnt do that to myself...or my mom...she built that place and shes lost everything to the step family too and now shed have to sit back as they go up to her place...no thats just not fair...i wish my grandfather would hold on for a few more years...then ill be all set in a nice nursing job and ill be able to afford it... well enough about that me talking about it isnt making anything better...i can only hope that magically some how my grandfather decides to take out a mortgage on the thing to pay it off or something like that...my mom cant take out a second mortgage on this place...shes got too much else to worry about... well on a good note my grandfather decided that me n tj could go up to the cabin by ourselves....ive never been so excited b4 i just cant wait for friday.... :)