crisis is my middle name.
A rush of events up until today that must inform everyone, right here, right now.
as of last week, Caz backed out on our deal for getting an apartment. I guess she was too scared to start off on her own with the baby, and will now be living with her rents. For somereason, i feel that she will never leave, no matter how old that baby gets, or how much money she has saved. If i were her i guess i would hide too.
That left me in a rut for a place to live, so i turned to my parents. their apartment is so small, and smokey and gross, (I am not allowed by the lease to live there)i offered to them to get a bigger apartment with me and i will pay half the rent. (not a 3rd, but half). My mother is so psycologicly fucked up that she wouldnt agree to it because i would make one lousy rule that she cant smoke in the apartment. she claims that she never wants to live with me, ever.
Although that situation would ahve been difficult, she would have gotten better, my dad would have saved money and worked up his credit again, as I would build the non existant one that I have and help out my parents.
WELL FUCK JEN FOR TRYING
now I am alone in trying to find my own apartment, because as of a month from yesterday i will be homeless. If you think i am going back home to live, after what my parents just did... umm HELL NO.
I found all of this out on sunday while i was working and hoping to get my 4 hours of homework done, and i didnt- because i was on the phone argueing with my brother, my father and i got one phone call from my mother (i wasnt even talking to her) and she said... Thanks jen for dividing the family and ruining my marriage.
fuck YOU mom. I hate you. I have no sympathy for you. How dare you put your addiction of fucking nicotine in front of your own husband and child. FUCK YOU. if she thinks i will ever love her again she will have to be kidding, because she basicly screwed me out of a home. And on top of that arent I trying to finnish up school? that selfish bitch. and the fact that she is mentally disaabled doesnt make me shed a tear, sorry. She keeps herself in that prison from what i've seen.
so all teh while I am trying to salvage what I have left of a grade point average before i leave here to go to salem state, i find that in trying to get through these next few weeks i have to fight for a job back in MA and an apartment.
THAT was all sunday.
MOnday night:
I call my dad and he says "you baby simon was out in the rain storm all the two days it lasted, he came home crashed, and he wont eat or drink anything. On tuesday i am taking him to the vet."
I think my heart is going to die. that cat is my child, my life, the reason I am STILL HERE and not even a day after hearing my family turn on me i find that my childhood cat may be in trouble. he is 13 years old, and has gone through 6 of his 9 lives, TRUST ME.
ialready had a nervous break down, now it is just insomnia. I would drive to MA to sleep next to my child RIGHT NOW at 2 am if only i had enough money to get me there. But instead i have to wait for the AM so i can go to a bank and get my butt up to ma to make sure simon is ok.
I am sorry people, but in the past few days it has been rough, and i cant seem to get any work done. I am going to try and work my homework until the morning light when bank of america opens, then off i go to make sure its not the last time i see my cat alive.
this is just two fucking much for me.
as of last week, Caz backed out on our deal for getting an apartment. I guess she was too scared to start off on her own with the baby, and will now be living with her rents. For somereason, i feel that she will never leave, no matter how old that baby gets, or how much money she has saved. If i were her i guess i would hide too.
That left me in a rut for a place to live, so i turned to my parents. their apartment is so small, and smokey and gross, (I am not allowed by the lease to live there)i offered to them to get a bigger apartment with me and i will pay half the rent. (not a 3rd, but half). My mother is so psycologicly fucked up that she wouldnt agree to it because i would make one lousy rule that she cant smoke in the apartment. she claims that she never wants to live with me, ever.
Although that situation would ahve been difficult, she would have gotten better, my dad would have saved money and worked up his credit again, as I would build the non existant one that I have and help out my parents.
WELL FUCK JEN FOR TRYING
now I am alone in trying to find my own apartment, because as of a month from yesterday i will be homeless. If you think i am going back home to live, after what my parents just did... umm HELL NO.
I found all of this out on sunday while i was working and hoping to get my 4 hours of homework done, and i didnt- because i was on the phone argueing with my brother, my father and i got one phone call from my mother (i wasnt even talking to her) and she said... Thanks jen for dividing the family and ruining my marriage.
fuck YOU mom. I hate you. I have no sympathy for you. How dare you put your addiction of fucking nicotine in front of your own husband and child. FUCK YOU. if she thinks i will ever love her again she will have to be kidding, because she basicly screwed me out of a home. And on top of that arent I trying to finnish up school? that selfish bitch. and the fact that she is mentally disaabled doesnt make me shed a tear, sorry. She keeps herself in that prison from what i've seen.
so all teh while I am trying to salvage what I have left of a grade point average before i leave here to go to salem state, i find that in trying to get through these next few weeks i have to fight for a job back in MA and an apartment.
THAT was all sunday.
MOnday night:
I call my dad and he says "you baby simon was out in the rain storm all the two days it lasted, he came home crashed, and he wont eat or drink anything. On tuesday i am taking him to the vet."
I think my heart is going to die. that cat is my child, my life, the reason I am STILL HERE and not even a day after hearing my family turn on me i find that my childhood cat may be in trouble. he is 13 years old, and has gone through 6 of his 9 lives, TRUST ME.
ialready had a nervous break down, now it is just insomnia. I would drive to MA to sleep next to my child RIGHT NOW at 2 am if only i had enough money to get me there. But instead i have to wait for the AM so i can go to a bank and get my butt up to ma to make sure simon is ok.
I am sorry people, but in the past few days it has been rough, and i cant seem to get any work done. I am going to try and work my homework until the morning light when bank of america opens, then off i go to make sure its not the last time i see my cat alive.
this is just two fucking much for me.