(no subject)
i can't believe this year is almost over. it felt like it would never end, but yet again i am proven wrong when may and june role in. this is usually the part where i say how excited i am to leave. but i have a much larger problem right now. i'm not excited. i'm not looking forward to the future at all. don't get me wrong, i want this year to end, i'm just not anxious or excited as i have been for the past few years. it's akward. even for spring break i didn't care. i've never been so apathetic in my life. oh well. working this summer will be fun. i'm still trying to decide whether or not i'll be in boulder this summer. i'm not sure. i'm not ready to focus on spirituality, i don't feel anything when i pray and i don't feel any answers. i just need to focus on what i believe before i can develop it, right? i don't know. i want to make money and work. i love working so much. if i didn't know better, i'd be the kid who dropped outa school to wash dishes. i don't know. she told me to pray about it, but when i pray it feels like i'm hopelessly talking to myself. i feel so alone and incompetent. oh well. talk lata, got parade.