Less than 2 months to go...

[bunny_goth_girl]

It's all creeping up on me. I'm getting very excited. I haven't seen Bear for nearly a year now, but soon, my friends, soon...eee! There is an upside to my unable to pay for a flight any sooner, as that meant that I ended up saving more money over the last year, and I can afford to take more spending money than I normally do. This is going to be

Comments

[bunny_goth_girl]

I have to admit, I had a real 180 flip to negativity the other day and got very upset. Harry wouldn't talk about the wedding (his mom was bugging me for a date), and I got upset. When we first got engaged, we were hoping for April this year, because he had been lead to believe his bachelor's degree would be done by then (about 3 years ago now), but its taking ages, and it could be another 2 or 3 years before he can even get a job (let alone before we can marry). Sometimes...man I might as well admit it because I need to be honest with myself, but sometimes I really do wonder what's the point in carrying on. It's been 5 years already, and sometimes it feels like we're wasting our best years. He's got a commitment that he can't get out of, he must see college to the end, there's no arguement about that. I meanwhile want to do my own thing (this lubrarian thing)- going to uni is totally out of the question for several reasons and most them are down to this LDR. I can't be buggering off to another part of the country for 4 years or so at this point. I hate even to admit that though, because I really do believe I have found the person I want to marry, and I will never find a man as good as Harry is again...but at the same time, its so bloody unfair that it makes me very distressed. His sister got married to her hllbilly "husband", and I know a couple of other people my age who moving in together or even getting married. It makes me very angry at a lot of them.

But...well...its a month Saturday now...just trying to keep chipper. Just kinda tough at the moment.