i don't know what to believe anymore.
yea...so i hate to say this cause i thought we were finally all good again, and even last night, last night i was okay, but i think i'm going to a bad place with this whole duke drama again. i think i'm going back to that place where i'm just not going to let him in because he makes me so mad. i was just talking to nick, dave's old roomate, about everything and i realized throughout the entire thing that dave trusts duke more than he trusts me. if i were to go up to him right now and be like...no, that time when we all got into drama because duke thought i was into him or wtvr, that really was duke hitting on me. it wasn't a joke. it wasn't him fucking with me to see how far i'd take it (which, by the way, i never did, nor would i ever take it anywhere) but in fact it was duke telling me that he liked me. and he did it again!!! fuck! i mean, yea, so what if you're drunk. so what if you're feeling something. you don't tell your best friend's girlfriend that you want her. you don't say you just need a kiss to know if it's just lust. you don't go there, because you know that if he ever found out it would hurt him so badly that you wouldn't want to breath anymore. i would never do that to him! i've told you that before! i told you i wanted to marry him and for you to be doing this again..urgh!
now, i can't change the fact that i think duke's a cool guy sometimes, and yea, if i didn't know him through dave, if i just met him at a bar sometime, i'd probably wind up being pretty good friends with him. so of coarse i want to hang out with him. but i feel bad everytime i do. i feel like duke is so jealous that i'm taking up dave's time that he would do this just to get rid of me. then again, i also feel like i'm starting to trust him. or was. or...i'm really not sure anymore. i think he'd tell me almost anything, but i also think he'd turn his back on me in an instant if called for. stupid fuck.
why are guys so dumb sometimes?
i'm not sure if anyone's reading this, or if it makes sense to you if you are reading it, but if it does and you can find a way to make it all work for me, that'd be awesome.
psp that's you
thanks
now, i can't change the fact that i think duke's a cool guy sometimes, and yea, if i didn't know him through dave, if i just met him at a bar sometime, i'd probably wind up being pretty good friends with him. so of coarse i want to hang out with him. but i feel bad everytime i do. i feel like duke is so jealous that i'm taking up dave's time that he would do this just to get rid of me. then again, i also feel like i'm starting to trust him. or was. or...i'm really not sure anymore. i think he'd tell me almost anything, but i also think he'd turn his back on me in an instant if called for. stupid fuck.
why are guys so dumb sometimes?
i'm not sure if anyone's reading this, or if it makes sense to you if you are reading it, but if it does and you can find a way to make it all work for me, that'd be awesome.
psp that's you
thanks