(no subject)
I just learned news that disappointed me (crashed, burned, hit the earth with a hard bang, big time).
Hindi ako nakapasa ng ITEP.
A.k.a., good bye internship abroad. Boo.
I guess what makes it even more painful is the fact that some of my friends got in. And I keep thinking - if I only tried harder to be active! If I only tried harder to do something? What is wrong with me bakit di ako kinuha??
Disappointment bites. But talking to Gio, I realized - yeah, may iba pang opportunities to work abroad. And bakit ba super disappointed ako? Bakit ko ba gustong magtrabaho abroad? Well, I just want to work for the experience. And I want to try an internship in another country before I work here. So it made me think, it's not like the earth will come shattering down on me. I'll be fine.
But I'm still disappointed. Why not me?
* Today was jampacked, stressful, can't breathe today. With all the meetings there was kanina, I actually forgot I had a meeting with Philip at 2.30, buti nalang di natuloy coz di pa siya ready with the materials. And I actually felt like I couldn't breathe. Atleast this time wala namang nagoverlap na meetings na kailangan puntahan. But the meeting with Dean Ang was just damn stressful because.. it was stressful. When in his "presence", I felt like I was choking when he was giving "suggestions" and "observations" (that felt like they weren't suggestions and observations, like something more). Parang ang daming kailangan gawin, and ang taas ng expectations.
But he had good insights, so I accept.
But in the middle of histo, I really had to go out of the room and breathe. Just breathe and stop. After meeting for the LCAP din, I passed by the chapel.
Coz sometimes I feel like I'm doing so many things, but I have nothing to show for it. Cum laude ba ako? Di naman. Natanggap ba ako sa ITEP? HINDI NAMAN. Bakit ba.
Hindi ako nakapasa ng ITEP.
A.k.a., good bye internship abroad. Boo.
I guess what makes it even more painful is the fact that some of my friends got in. And I keep thinking - if I only tried harder to be active! If I only tried harder to do something? What is wrong with me bakit di ako kinuha??
Disappointment bites. But talking to Gio, I realized - yeah, may iba pang opportunities to work abroad. And bakit ba super disappointed ako? Bakit ko ba gustong magtrabaho abroad? Well, I just want to work for the experience. And I want to try an internship in another country before I work here. So it made me think, it's not like the earth will come shattering down on me. I'll be fine.
But I'm still disappointed. Why not me?
* Today was jampacked, stressful, can't breathe today. With all the meetings there was kanina, I actually forgot I had a meeting with Philip at 2.30, buti nalang di natuloy coz di pa siya ready with the materials. And I actually felt like I couldn't breathe. Atleast this time wala namang nagoverlap na meetings na kailangan puntahan. But the meeting with Dean Ang was just damn stressful because.. it was stressful. When in his "presence", I felt like I was choking when he was giving "suggestions" and "observations" (that felt like they weren't suggestions and observations, like something more). Parang ang daming kailangan gawin, and ang taas ng expectations.
But he had good insights, so I accept.
But in the middle of histo, I really had to go out of the room and breathe. Just breathe and stop. After meeting for the LCAP din, I passed by the chapel.
Coz sometimes I feel like I'm doing so many things, but I have nothing to show for it. Cum laude ba ako? Di naman. Natanggap ba ako sa ITEP? HINDI NAMAN. Bakit ba.