(no subject)
so i just learned that the job that I am hoping to get is working on a background check and needs some information. Wonderful - no why? Because that probably means that i got the job! Yay! That also means that I really am probably moving to Chicago in January. Whoaaaaaa. it's gonna be cold. But i guess it's cold everywhere. I just hope Greg gets his act together. I can't move without him. He is seriously the best roomate ever. I don't know him that well but I already know this...
Chicago feels right and St.charles is slowly melting. It's crazy. I am thankful to move to a beautiful city. I have so many good friends out there its awesome and i will be on my own again. yay.
This weekend was overall fun but damn am i sick. I tried not to show it at Ginas and snuck in the bathroom twice during her party to puke. Those antibiotics dont work well with me. I was coughing up blood yesterday morning at is scared the bajesus out of me. hah. bajesus. (pasgetti?) anyways - i hope i am on the upward cruise at this point. Two weeks of these sickies almost makes me feel like death. - It was good to see all my good buddies last night. A few random wonderful people showed up and I am glad i went. Friday night i met with tom. damn. on the way i was thinking what is this? Things have been so confusing to me latley. I am just to the point where I really don't want to think about them anymore. This ex-girlfriend thing is a little out of control and i feel really bad for him. I don't know what it was about her but i hope that he can move on one day and not miss someone that is truly great for him. The whole situation has become a little weird because i think it's been going on for so long. i truly care about him and hope that we can become better a friends one day. I just don't know if that is possible. I can get kinda jealous. But i also can grow up. right? I love his kisses and our cuddle sleep nights. I like his dancing in the living room and probably should have gottom up and shimmy shaked a few. I just didn't know if I belonged there. I don't want this situation to hurt him. I dont want him to be worried about me either. i really don't care to much about me i guess.
sometimes i wonder if i will ever meet the right person. I feel like they are far far away.
What i have figured out is that as much as i care about him (which i deep down do) i deserve a better situation. It should be natural and normal. Not two in the morning text messages. I have very much enjoyed our relationship the entire time - but i dont want it to be a filler. and iguess that's what has BECOME.
Driving to his house i was thinking about if we talk - maybe i will end up leaving. And i didn't even want to go there. I don't want to tell him I'm done and just end it because i still enjoy and him. For me - when i move - maybe it will just fade. damn. i think its sad.
Chicago feels right and St.charles is slowly melting. It's crazy. I am thankful to move to a beautiful city. I have so many good friends out there its awesome and i will be on my own again. yay.
This weekend was overall fun but damn am i sick. I tried not to show it at Ginas and snuck in the bathroom twice during her party to puke. Those antibiotics dont work well with me. I was coughing up blood yesterday morning at is scared the bajesus out of me. hah. bajesus. (pasgetti?) anyways - i hope i am on the upward cruise at this point. Two weeks of these sickies almost makes me feel like death. - It was good to see all my good buddies last night. A few random wonderful people showed up and I am glad i went. Friday night i met with tom. damn. on the way i was thinking what is this? Things have been so confusing to me latley. I am just to the point where I really don't want to think about them anymore. This ex-girlfriend thing is a little out of control and i feel really bad for him. I don't know what it was about her but i hope that he can move on one day and not miss someone that is truly great for him. The whole situation has become a little weird because i think it's been going on for so long. i truly care about him and hope that we can become better a friends one day. I just don't know if that is possible. I can get kinda jealous. But i also can grow up. right? I love his kisses and our cuddle sleep nights. I like his dancing in the living room and probably should have gottom up and shimmy shaked a few. I just didn't know if I belonged there. I don't want this situation to hurt him. I dont want him to be worried about me either. i really don't care to much about me i guess.
sometimes i wonder if i will ever meet the right person. I feel like they are far far away.
What i have figured out is that as much as i care about him (which i deep down do) i deserve a better situation. It should be natural and normal. Not two in the morning text messages. I have very much enjoyed our relationship the entire time - but i dont want it to be a filler. and iguess that's what has BECOME.
Driving to his house i was thinking about if we talk - maybe i will end up leaving. And i didn't even want to go there. I don't want to tell him I'm done and just end it because i still enjoy and him. For me - when i move - maybe it will just fade. damn. i think its sad.