(no subject)
I just went to a work christmas party. I don't know if I was just being extremely socially anxious, but none of the girls that work in my classroom talked to me. I started to think they just humor me when we're on the clock, but when they don't have to, they don't bother with me. then I feel all bitter and stuff. people who form cliques and act all exclusive are really just scared of showing vulnerability - but doesn't that make them even weaker, and therefore more pathetic? I wish people were more honest and down to earth. the girls I work with are so catty, I hate it. I don't know if I wish I had a different job, or maybe just different coworkers.
I drank a lot, and I was the first one to leave.
I thought the drinking would calm the nerves, but it just made me feel more isolated.
now I'm at home, hanging out with franklin & my nephew, hunter. they're playing video games, and we're going to make shrimp for dinner! so excited. I'm having a good time with them, at least. I just wish the people I work with knew me, or at least bothered to get to know me. because I know for a fact that I am cooler than everyone there. ha! just sayin'. but to them, I'm probably just a weirdo nerd that wears sweaters all the time. well, they can suck it. because I have a life outside of work, and ... friends? yes. some. I think I've got some friends somewhere. but anyway, yes. whatever. I need to seperate myself from them even further, I think. blargh.
nobody at work really gets me. it sucks.