(Untitled)
Who: Roronoa Zoro (threesword), Sanji (baratiesbest), Umi Ryuuzaki (embracethewaves)
Where: Outside the Northern Lights
When: August 11th, During the party at the lights
Rating: PG-13 at least :|
Summary: Things finally reach their breaking point between the two Straw Hats.
the log: ( We can only go on like this for so long )
Where: Outside the Northern Lights
When: August 11th, During the party at the lights
Rating: PG-13 at least :|
Summary: Things finally reach their breaking point between the two Straw Hats.
the log: ( We can only go on like this for so long )
He seemed to say that a lot lately. Sanji took one last shaky inhale on that burnt down cigarette before letting it fall in an attempt to seek some courage. Guidance. The silence was just as bad as it had been the past couple of months - always silent about what was important, bottling it up until they ended up where they were now.
Enough. They couldn't hide behind the bond of nakama or male pride or honor anymore. Umi had been hurt by it all and that was more than enough to call for retreat. He didn't deserve her after all, not after tonight. As much as it pained him to think it Zoro was by far the better choice - if she still wanted to be near either of them.
How difficult can it be to throw away your pride?!
Not difficult at all when you've been doing it for all your life. Sanji swallowed, took a deep breath. Prepared. And when he finally spoke again his voice came out restrained, polite, almost cold.
"It's true that we've been acting like idiots, but when it comes down to it... it's my fault. I haven't been honest with you and that in itself is unforgivable. I can only hope that-"
He was running out of words. Admitting defeat wasn't easy and it left him feeling sick to his stomach - but someone had to. Better him than Zoro right now. They had fought over her like kids, so wrapped up in their shitty pride and constant rivalry to stop and think about what they were actually doing. And now they had both lost.
"I'm sorry. It was never my intention to complicate things like this... you deserve better."
And with that he fell silent again, shoulders slumped and eyes closed like a condemned man waiting for the noose to tighten.
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When push came to shove, he'd had no reason to fight the cook. Sanji had done nothing wrong. He flirted with all the girls - and he'd fallen for this one. It wasn't his fault that it happened to be the very same one Zoro had crashed for. As much as he wanted to fault his crewmate for that, he couldn't.
But they were both at fault for how they'd handled it. Zoro for telling her to forget it, for being so hard on Sanji, and for picking all the fights. Sanji for not saying anything. Both of them for their mutual silence, and just how things had been handled.
They'd both failed - as friends and as men. There was no denying it.
But as the cook spoke, Zoro raised his head slightly, examining Sanji's mannerisms. He looked like a child who'd just been scolded and shamed. Zoro could only imagine that he looked just the same. And maybe it was wrong to do so - but he wasn't going to let Sanji take that much of the blame for it.
There was a chance that his relationship with Umi wouldn't recover, based on her tone alone. There was an even greater chance that things between he and Sanji would be damaged forever as well. There was no saying. All he knew was he'd been hurting people he'd grown to care about more than he'd ever planned... and even if it took everything in him, he was going to try and mend it as best he could.
It was death before giving up, after all.
"Yeah," He spoke quietly. Thoughtful. More calculated than people usually gave him credit for. "I... we should have said something earlier. You shouldn't have been put through any of this."
There was another pause, and in a strange and swift motion, Sandai Kitetsu had been withdrawn, slamming the blade into the concrete. He was angry, but not with Sanji for the first time in months. It was at himself for all the trouble that had been caused.
"Guess this is what happens when you get involved with pirates."
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...It was selfish, in a sense, and maybe that was another reason to apologize. Discedo wasn't a place she ever wanted to wish upon anyone...but it was the only place she had a connection to the friends she had made here.
"Deserving more...and being put through anything..." she began. The words caused the knot in Umi's stomach to tighten again. Anger, impatience -- that was the feeling. She hated those words. Hated that these guys thought they were necessary. Hated that they were trying to decide that for her.
"Who do you think," she added, "has the right to decide those things?"
That was what friendship was, after all...being yourself. Trusting people to see who you really were, what you thought, how you felt. Trusting that friends would be honest, no matter what.
Zoro's comment made a small smile flicker across her face. Nothing but trouble...really was something typical with these guys. "Hey...I knew what I was in for when I first met you troublemakers, you know."
Still able to tease a bit...but she was still worried -- and maybe confused. She didn't want things to just stay the way they were, but otherwise she wasn't sure what she wanted. What she could ask of them. What she knew was, her life wouldn't have been the same without either of those two idiots...and no matter what, she would fight for their friendship in any way, if she had to.
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How the hell had they expected her to make a choice without even once raising the question..? Idiots, both of them.
Relaxing slightly Sanji went for the pack of cigarettes again. The intentions of cutting back were as good as gone by now and it would take a goddamn miracle to break his chain smoking if this kept up. Stress always had that effect on him.
Stress. It was more than that, felt more like some strange sense of self-destructiveness. The first hand had been dealt but there were still cards to play - he knew he had a scandalous ace or two up his sleeve that might as well come out on the table. Anemone. Nami back home, even if it was one-sided. If Umi found out about that this wouldn't even be a question anymore and to his great surprise Sanji realized that he didn't care either way. Might as well go all the way now that they finally started.
"True. It should have been you all along."
Pause. Inhale. Exhale.
"I guess the only question left is just that then - what is your decision? What is it that you want, Miss Umi?"
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They were pirates. Of course they did things selfishly - but this was the one time that they shouldn't have and Zoro knew that. And he knew that Sanji, better than anyone, did too. That's why it didn't really surprise him very much when the blonde was the first to ask the question.
Anxious. That was what Zoro felt right then. The dull throb in his shoulder and the sharp one in his ribs went completely numb. All the sounds around him sounded far away. His heart was pounding in his chest hard enough that he thought it could burst. And his stomach felt as if it was either going to be caught in his throat or sink to his feet - it could go either way at that point.
For the first time since her arrival, Zoro looked at Umi. His eyebrow quirked slightly, awaiting a response. If she had one, this would be the moment of truth, after all.
There was nothing he could say... and he probably wouldn't have been able to even if he had something to say. So he waited.
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She could say over and over that she wanted to be able to make her own decision. Coming down to that final question, though, the all important one...it was honestly something she didn't know how to answer. What did she want? Of all the things in the world they could have asked...it was the one thing she couldn't answer. Now it was Umi who didn't meet their eyes, looking down at the snow.
No matter what she said, would one of them end up hurt because of it? That, she knew she didn't want. She knew she didn't want them to fight like this anymore, but also that she didn't want either of them to disappear from her life. She knew that, ideally, someday she would like to fall in love...but that always seemed like a distant dream. Something for the future. Even if it was something to think about now, was it worth this much conflict?
"I want," she began, slow at first -- now she raised her eyes to look at them. "...for you two to stop fighting like this. Like you're both out for blood. This place...it's bad enough, without friends turning on each other. And-- you're both important friends to me. I don't want that to change."
It wasn't an answer. And she was starting to get nervous. How did other people do this...? It wasn't like a movie or a book, where a sudden revelation dawned on her, where suddenly music began playing as the right choice became clear. All she could hear was the sound of her heart, pounding harder and harder in her chest.
"But-- my decision..." She drew in a deep breath; her voice was shaking a bit again. There really was nothing good about this situation, but her only option left was to blurt out the one thing she knew was true, as weak and silly and stupid as it might have been. "I can't-- I like you both...and care about you both, a lot. But-- ...I don't know...how to choose between two of the most important people in my life," she admitted at last. "I'm sorry. It's not fair to say that at all, to either of you, but..." She couldn't finish. She had lost the words.
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Sanji had to admit that he wanted the exact same thing - to go back to how it was back home or even just on the good days here. The spar outside of the hospital that second time... that had been good. Fun. The way things should be and he desperately wanted to return to that.
But could they? Was it even possible for things to return to normal anymore? It couldn't continue like this, that much was clear but perhaps they needed to look forward instead of to the past. Figure out something else. If Umi wanted them both in her life (and he thanked his lucky star that she hadn't just downright dismissed them) then that was what she was going to get. Somehow.
And then it hit him, a stupid idea, something he'd never think of let alone say out loud. But... it seemed to be the only solution. If she couldn't make a choice then maybe there wasn't one. The thought was absurd but somehow it fit. They'd all get what they wanted, with a little (or a lot) of work.
"If that's your decision then that's what you'll get. At least as far as I'm concerned."
Quick glance in Zoro's direction - would he pick up on it?
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But hell, he would try if he was given the chance. If they were on the Going Merry, things wouldn't have been like this. Nobody would have let it get that fair - chances are, Nami would have concussed them both already by this point. Even with the Straw Hats being in the city, it wasn't the same. Everyone was doing something different - it was unlikely Luffy, Chopper, or Robin had even the slightest idea what was happening. Even Usopp didn't have a full grasp on it, but he probably was a bit more well informed than the others.
He listened to what Umi said, watching with careful eyes. She.. couldn't choose? It wasn't something he'd expected. But he did understand it. She always showed them an equal amount of concern. And he couldn't really blame her. He'd known her a bit longer, but Sanji was definitely endearing in his own right - as much as Zoro generally disliked admitting that, it was completely true. They'd both grown close to her for different reasons. Where they really expecting that she'd be able to choose? Especially after everything that'd happened over the course of time they'd known each other?
He eyes shifted, looking towards Sanji as he spoke. It took him a moment to process what he said, but he understood. Somehow... it made sense. Despite the fact that they were always at one another's throats, there was something else. Maybe it was that their feelings for her overpowered everything else.
It wouldn't be easy. There would probably be plenty more arguments.. times that they didn't see eye to eye. But if this is what it was going to take to make Umi happy... then he was willing to give it a try.
Zoro nodded his head in agreement, quirking an eyebrow at Sanji for a brief moment before looking back to Umi.
"Yeah. If that's what you want."
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Though, even if she had acknowledged that, it wouldn't have made her less nervous as she waited for their response.
It was a weight lifted. Maybe things would never go back to the way they were. Maybe they couldn't...and maybe that was a good thing, if that had turned out this way. She expected them to still bicker, and she expected to be right there bickering along with them. But the sort of fighting she had seen between the two pirates tonight...was something that couldn't continue, no matter what happened. It was something she would do anything she could in order to put a stop to -- that much she could resolve without question.
She still felt a pang of guilt for her answer. It seemed selfish and unsatisfying. Still -- no matter how things ended up from here on, whatever choices ended up being made, whatever ended up changing, she wouldn't lose them...either one of them.
And, honestly, she hadn't realized until then how afraid of that she had been.
"...Thank you," she said, and really, truly meant it. This was a start, at the very least, and an attempt. Even if it was small, and even if they were doing it only because she asked, she was grateful. She took another deep breath and released it, and then the reality of the world that had come apart when she first saw them fighting came back together. Not just the street or the snow -- the chill in the air and the blood on the snow...all of it.
"So," when she began speaking, she found the energy to muster a little, bemused smile. "Can I help you guys get patched up, or do you wanna hang around here all night and get sick?"
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He let out a sigh of relief, followed by a suppressed wince as he realized just how badly those wounds hurt. Getting somewhere relatively warm and dry seemed like a great idea, he definitely didn't want to catch something by standing out in the cold.
"That sounds like an excellent idea."
Flicking away the burnt down cigarette (third tonight, damn) he smiled, a little weak and hesitant but still a smile.
"And thank you."
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Obviously, he could see where things could possibly go wrong. But this felt like a step in the right direction. It would be difficult, but he did want to mend things between himself and Sanji, and if this is what was going to help, by all means, he was going to try his damnedest to make it work.
"Yeah..." Was all Zoro could manage to sputter out right then. All his wounds were beginning to throb hard again, and he could feel the blood loss going to his head.
He was tired.
The swordsman would have said more, but before he even had the chance, he'd gone into collapse, crashing against the cold, snowy pavement like a ton of bricks.
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This wasn't Cephiro. Her armor and sword wouldn't evolve when her heart matured. But she knew that, at this point, she could no longer afford to remain ignorant -- to cast a blind eye over the situation and hope for the best. Things had gotten to this point partially because she had taken that stance -- it would be important not just to recognize that responsibility, but to try and grow from it.
After all, that had been one important reason for them to return to Cephiro.
More importantly at the moment, those two idiots really had done a number on each other, and even just looking at them, Umi was beginning to wonder if-- ...And before she could even finish thinking it, it basically happened: Zoro fell completely over. It caught her by surprise, for sure, and she went to make sure he was, well-- ...still alive. "Z-Zoro?! Hey--!"
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The attack had been powerful but not nearly enough to kill - maybe the chip was actually making a difference these days or maybe he had simply held back without realizing it. Either way the swordsman would be fine after some rest. They couldn't leave him out here in the snow though...
"Don't worry, he'll be fine. He does this all the time."
Sighing Sanji crouched down next to his fallen comrade and carefully nudged his shoulder. An odd warm sensation seemed to spread throughout his chest - either it was the early signs of a really nasty cold or... something else. The air seemed clearer, easier to breathe.
"Oi. Broccoli head. Get up, I'm not carrying you all the way to Gohl."
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And then there was the nudge from Sanji. The swordsman let out a protesting groan. He really didn't care about moving from that spot. Really, it was going to be hard to.
But after a couple of minutes, he forced his eyes open. He made an attempt to push himself off the ground, but exhaustion had really done it's part right then - or at least, the plethora of injuries had. He willed with all his strength to get up, eventually being able to do so - though barely. He'd worried Umi enough for one night, he'd push as hard as he could to prevent doing any more damage in that regard. He'd just sleep it off later.
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"Right...right," she said at Sanji's reassurance, admittedly feeling a bit ridiculous for worrying.
She had to admit, even after knowing these guys for the months that she had, they still did weird things like this to surprise her.
"Jeez, way to make a girl worry," she sighed. "Hey...at a time like this, even I might not argue, but it's still snowing, y'know. You're gonna get sick or something."
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He sighed. This would hurt so bad, but what else could he do? If you make a mess you clean up after yourself, Zeff had bashed that into his head within the first year. So he simply grabbed Zoro's arm (even making sure that he was messing with the good side) and made an attempt to hook it over his own shoulders.
"C'mon. Help me out here."
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