" i don't love you no more" -KC
ay Dios Mio otra vez.
the first times i said i was through with his bullshit must have been a joke cause even after the last entry,we were still havin conversations and shit.and this past few days we talked on the phone about where to meet up _ well thanks to my wonderful other half friend Jessica im more hurt/mad than sad.1 word to describe him:asshole.
okay so lets call this person 'CC' and the other "Q"
CC told jessi that he called her askin about "he's love..he's wifey" not wantin to say a name CC asked who? and he says "Q". mistake # 1. so CC and Jessi are friends. when i talk to Jessi bout him she tells CC cause CC has a similar problem.being that CC knows how i feel.the situation,and etc.. obviously told Jessi what he asked CC ..reason y CC told, idk. but Jessi told me.so its clear: he's a liar. because he can promise me that im the only one he loves and blah blah-blah blah blah ..
so being that its the second time he mentions and talks bout Q to CC , i know what tha real deal is. es un mentiroso, period.
all this i found out in a note jessi responded to mine, and well during 5th period yesterday, jessi calls me down to the office around 1:50 ish ..Thank God
Jaime wasnt in school but needed to get a reccomendation letter from Evans so he wanted her to get it but since i was gettin home first,she asked me to get it.
on the way there we look down nd see this kid comin into school..i cant see so i said TRISTIAN!! cause of hes broad shoulders but jessi says no its not him..SO we go to evans she tells him what Jaime needs and leaves. so after 20 minutes of evan unsuccessfully findin it, he sends me down to bullards to get a standard recommendation letter.
on my way down[lol] i hear "Cede .... !!! " i look down and see none other than the Trifling Motherfucker comin from the dance/gym area..prolly showin his friend Candice [who he claims is his cousin but i still dont 100 % believe]. my heart:sonrie, but my mind:well thats the complete opposite.
i keep going down like i dont care and im bout to open the hallway door when he comes and pushes it close.and says wassup. i give him The look and kinda shove him out the way.
"oh so you wanted to see me,im here and thats how u wanna act?" ...The look & "that was yesterday"... "man come here and hug me.[pulls me and hugs me]" ...we reach bullard,i tell him bout the letter and talk to Saani aka Ish's brother..while he distracts bullard..after a few minutes i say " mr.bullard the letter!" so he sends a brian to print it out. i rush past the Mofo y su friend que trajo & go back to evans. ..he shows up while evans has ME! typing the letter ..grrr.. so hes messin with my hair and i say 'dont touch me' ,and wants to know why he has to come on my time.. The look & "leave me alone." im done and evans remembers then and Only then that he doesnt have the special paper to print it on. -_- oh Jesus! what else ?!? they leave..so evans sends me again to ask bullard again for paper.they both go thru each of the library doors.he holds it open for me but as im reachin for the other door, "girl I know u not bout to go through that door when im holdin this one open for you" smiles and pushes my door from the outside close.i try to open it but shit the boy lives in the gym so i juss go through his..and randomly states "if u EVER perm ur hair we through!!!" okay 1-im sure a lot of ppl think differently.2-i need to do something different,maybe for senior pics.. okay..i say "how bout u leave me alone?" ..."call me" but we're already goin opposite directions [him to mr.B's i think] and at bullards theres no paper either ..grr..back at evans,, 2:10 ish he's addin this and takin that from the letter.and makes me meet him in front of the office after school to get the letter. i say i cant my ride is gonna leave me ...i go to class at 2:20 ?! and kimy / mariohn <3 ask if im OK..i put my head down.when tea lady is down teachin i run to kim & spill the BeAns nd get teary eyed.. shes gives me her piece of mind and im okay for the time being.
at 2:29 we run downstairs and meet evans.i get it..talk to Eddie..and look for chino in the front.sergio is waitin for me.we get to Chinos car and start headin home..they try to conversate but i let them know from the get go im not in a friendly mood ..i get teary eyed & think the way home..thanks to Sergio he told Chino where to go for most of the way.
at home i watch my novela..sign on.talk to eddie..cry.a lot.& call jessi.keep cryin to her.then the rest is unimportant.
well yea: dentist appointmet...kimy finds ride to the fair.i go with her,ivanka,jessica * ivankas friend Alex...see people ..some that are assholes aka him ...i think the ppl he was with saw me and slowed down thinkin he was gonna stop and talk to me .. he pretends not to see me or really doesnt but i tell jessi nd kim not to look while we wait for ivanka & alex to get back.. after a few second i look and no one i know is in sight. =`[
im so through. or i'll force myself to be, cause i cant do that anymore.Jessi said today that even though she doesnt really know Q.she definitely knows Q is not thinkin bout him or at least doesnt make him priority in her love life.so i shouldnt..
i already know all this, but its very hard.
im grateful that nothing ..physical.. happened between us or else..suicide probably would have been my buddy, with only minor damage & look at me,i cant hold myself together.
the only say i can say is : i change my mind.
..guys are heartless
the first times i said i was through with his bullshit must have been a joke cause even after the last entry,we were still havin conversations and shit.and this past few days we talked on the phone about where to meet up _ well thanks to my wonderful other half friend Jessica im more hurt/mad than sad.1 word to describe him:asshole.
okay so lets call this person 'CC' and the other "Q"
CC told jessi that he called her askin about "he's love..he's wifey" not wantin to say a name CC asked who? and he says "Q". mistake # 1. so CC and Jessi are friends. when i talk to Jessi bout him she tells CC cause CC has a similar problem.being that CC knows how i feel.the situation,and etc.. obviously told Jessi what he asked CC ..reason y CC told, idk. but Jessi told me.so its clear: he's a liar. because he can promise me that im the only one he loves and blah blah-blah blah blah ..
so being that its the second time he mentions and talks bout Q to CC , i know what tha real deal is. es un mentiroso, period.
all this i found out in a note jessi responded to mine, and well during 5th period yesterday, jessi calls me down to the office around 1:50 ish ..Thank God
Jaime wasnt in school but needed to get a reccomendation letter from Evans so he wanted her to get it but since i was gettin home first,she asked me to get it.
on the way there we look down nd see this kid comin into school..i cant see so i said TRISTIAN!! cause of hes broad shoulders but jessi says no its not him..SO we go to evans she tells him what Jaime needs and leaves. so after 20 minutes of evan unsuccessfully findin it, he sends me down to bullards to get a standard recommendation letter.
on my way down[lol] i hear "Cede .... !!! " i look down and see none other than the Trifling Motherfucker comin from the dance/gym area..prolly showin his friend Candice [who he claims is his cousin but i still dont 100 % believe]. my heart:sonrie, but my mind:well thats the complete opposite.
i keep going down like i dont care and im bout to open the hallway door when he comes and pushes it close.and says wassup. i give him The look and kinda shove him out the way.
"oh so you wanted to see me,im here and thats how u wanna act?" ...The look & "that was yesterday"... "man come here and hug me.[pulls me and hugs me]" ...we reach bullard,i tell him bout the letter and talk to Saani aka Ish's brother..while he distracts bullard..after a few minutes i say " mr.bullard the letter!" so he sends a brian to print it out. i rush past the Mofo y su friend que trajo & go back to evans. ..he shows up while evans has ME! typing the letter ..grrr.. so hes messin with my hair and i say 'dont touch me' ,and wants to know why he has to come on my time.. The look & "leave me alone." im done and evans remembers then and Only then that he doesnt have the special paper to print it on. -_- oh Jesus! what else ?!? they leave..so evans sends me again to ask bullard again for paper.they both go thru each of the library doors.he holds it open for me but as im reachin for the other door, "girl I know u not bout to go through that door when im holdin this one open for you" smiles and pushes my door from the outside close.i try to open it but shit the boy lives in the gym so i juss go through his..and randomly states "if u EVER perm ur hair we through!!!" okay 1-im sure a lot of ppl think differently.2-i need to do something different,maybe for senior pics.. okay..i say "how bout u leave me alone?" ..."call me" but we're already goin opposite directions [him to mr.B's i think] and at bullards theres no paper either ..grr..back at evans,, 2:10 ish he's addin this and takin that from the letter.and makes me meet him in front of the office after school to get the letter. i say i cant my ride is gonna leave me ...i go to class at 2:20 ?! and kimy / mariohn <3 ask if im OK..i put my head down.when tea lady is down teachin i run to kim & spill the BeAns nd get teary eyed.. shes gives me her piece of mind and im okay for the time being.
at 2:29 we run downstairs and meet evans.i get it..talk to Eddie..and look for chino in the front.sergio is waitin for me.we get to Chinos car and start headin home..they try to conversate but i let them know from the get go im not in a friendly mood ..i get teary eyed & think the way home..thanks to Sergio he told Chino where to go for most of the way.
at home i watch my novela..sign on.talk to eddie..cry.a lot.& call jessi.keep cryin to her.then the rest is unimportant.
well yea: dentist appointmet...kimy finds ride to the fair.i go with her,ivanka,jessica * ivankas friend Alex...see people ..some that are assholes aka him ...i think the ppl he was with saw me and slowed down thinkin he was gonna stop and talk to me .. he pretends not to see me or really doesnt but i tell jessi nd kim not to look while we wait for ivanka & alex to get back.. after a few second i look and no one i know is in sight. =`[
im so through. or i'll force myself to be, cause i cant do that anymore.Jessi said today that even though she doesnt really know Q.she definitely knows Q is not thinkin bout him or at least doesnt make him priority in her love life.so i shouldnt..
i already know all this, but its very hard.
im grateful that nothing ..physical.. happened between us or else..suicide probably would have been my buddy, with only minor damage & look at me,i cant hold myself together.
the only say i can say is : i change my mind.
..guys are heartless