future

[disaster_pixie]

Okay so I've spent the last week trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life. I haven't been going to classes and I think it's because I just don't want to be there. I've been getting so stressed out and just not been able to motivate myself to do the work.  I'm not enjoying the work and it's making me not want to draw, which is not

Comments

[amyroxanne]

Wow, so, I was reading (and you're right, these feelings are scarily similar to what I'm going through twinner), and this is how it went.

I read the first part about how much tafe is crushing you right now. I think that's an appropriate word to use because it's draining you, stressing you, you're not attention and it's not making you want to do what, well, you want to do.

Then you said 'I want to be an illustrator' and I got REALLY excited. I've only seen a few pieces of your work but was impressed every time. It really does just sound so - you.

So then as I read on about being a an illustrator and the courses you'd have to do, and applying as a mature age student, I was further excited and about your dad talking to people, and tentatively offering you a job.

Then I got to the part "fight the thoughts in the back of my head telling me i'm a failure" and got confused. You're not a failure for following your heart. Even if that means dropping out of the course you're not at all a failure for listening to what you *really* want to do, and chasing it, then achieving it. You're right; it's clearly just not right for you.

And I think from what you've written here, like what I wrote in my journal, says a lot about what is right for you, even if the nagging anxiety at the back wants to tell you other wise.

How do you feel about it now, writing it out and reading it back?
And what do you feel about the options? Your gut will know.

xxxxxxxxxxx

[amyroxanne]

That was supposed to say * you're not attending.

I clearly have no attention :P