(no subject)
sometimes i feel like the most outcast person there is. there are those little moments when I dont. and I really suck at starting conversation and keeping a conversation with someone. I find myself by myself alot. I mean there is talking to people every once in a while or few minutes but then I find myself by myself once again walking alone. maybe its making me a stronger independent person but maybe its making me drift from other people alot or maybe there wasnt any one to depend on first of all. i dont like this at all. i wish i didnt have to think this way. if you dont talk to me i dont think you like me and theres something wrong with me. i talk sometimes and find myself wishing i never said that. i wish i could be so much more of a person than i am, but what can i do. changing is a very difficult thing to do because you get used to who you are. i get to the point sometimes where ill be talking to someone and ill relate to it and tell them how i relate to it and then i think wow i sound really selfish. i wish i didnt. i know im not perfect and neither is no one else. i have been nothing but emotional in this entry. how lame.