Looking for techniques | Spencer/Brendon | NC-17 | AU |

[disarm_d]

Looking for techniques
Spencer/Brendon | NC-17 | ~ 8000 words | AU |
Spencer can't believe himself for trying something like this. He can't believe that he'd risk his friendship with Brendon, his friendships with everyone else if Brendon decided to tell, his place in the school if Brendon caused enough fuss. Except that when Brendon's tongue

Comments

[airgiodslv]

I loved that the focus on them was so tight, because even though Jon and Ryan were there in support, and used well, I really felt like the rest of the world had ceased to exist, and all there was for these two people in the whole entire world was each other. Even when they were apart, even when they knew they shouldn't be thinking about it, there was still nothing else in their minds. I was completely grounded in Spencer's pov, totally, but there was still no doubt in my mind that Brendon felt exactly the same way he did, that they were both struggling with the exact same conflicts and desires and fears. You showed it in their words, in the way they finished each other's sentences and danced around the subject so clearly on their minds, and with every single millisecond of physical contact between them. Because every one mattered so much; their elbows bumping together was as damning as a kiss. Thinking about something like sex, being naked together, was so out of the question it never even crossed Spencer's mind, wasn't allowed to cross his mind, but the intensity of what he was feeling was just as strong as if they'd been physically intimate from the very start.

I was terrified, from somewhere around the middle of this story, about how this was going to end. Honestly, paralyzed with my heart in my throat, because there was no way it could be a happy ending, not in this time, this situation. And if anything happened to break them apart, even a mutual decision to stay away - because there's no way they can be just friends, not with the intensity of how they feel about each other - I think it would have honestly broken my heart and left me a complete wreck. The way you ended it was so beyond perfect that I really just want to thank you over and over again for that, for giving them a chance in a world where they barely have that much to hold onto. Anything else I wouldn't have believed, as thoroughly as you sucked me into this universe, anything else would have made me either shake my head in disbelief or fall apart. But the two of them clinging together, still risking everything just for that one chaste touch, left me with my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes.

I'm sorry, I'm such a mess, and I'm going on and on. I just want to say that I really, deeply love this, and I'm so glad to have read it, and I'm so very, very glad that you've written it. It is absolutely amazing, and I cannot praise it highly enough.

[sparktastic]

Um.

What she said.

*sends flowers*

[disarm_d]

\o/

:)

[disarm_d]

There's nothing I can say to tell you how amazing this comment is. I just-- Oh man! This is one of the most fantastic comments I've ever received, and it seriously means so much to me and THANK YOU.

You got absolutely everything that I was hoping would come across. It was just the most incredible thing to read your comment, and I know I'm going to be coming back to read it again and again. I know that I'm not able to convey how much it meant to me, but I hope that you get some idea, because. WOW. Thank you thank you thank you!

then on an even deeper level they were afraid of doing something they knew was wrong YES. Yes yes yes!

I can't even tell you how fantastic it was to read this:And you showed that in the most gorgeous way possible, with the smallest details like Spencer watching Brendon's forearms, just that being able to make him feel things he shouldn't, and it was so much more powerful than him seeing Brendon half-naked from a shower and being aroused, for instance, because just that tiny amount, those little tastes of each other, kissing without touching and the first pinkie fingertip against bare skin, was powerful enough to undo them completely.
Because, YES, that's exactly it. How there's so much repression that the little things mean so much, and just. I'm totally at a loss for words, but it was so fantastically incredible to read this.

I'm so glad that the ending worked for you. For a while I thought that maybe it would have a less hopeful ending, but I just couldn't do it. I just love Spencer/Brendon so much, somehow they bring out every last idiotic romantic inclination I have. I'm so glad that it seemed right to you!

This was the most intensely, phenomenally gratifying thing to read, and I don't know what to say except, seriously, thank you so much! Wow.

<3 x 1000000000000000 :D