Looking for techniques | Spencer/Brendon | NC-17 | AU |

[disarm_d]

Looking for techniques
Spencer/Brendon | NC-17 | ~ 8000 words | AU |
Spencer can't believe himself for trying something like this. He can't believe that he'd risk his friendship with Brendon, his friendships with everyone else if Brendon decided to tell, his place in the school if Brendon caused enough fuss. Except that when Brendon's tongue

Comments

[echoelf]

okay. this was made of win for many reasons.

1. jon walker uses the word lad. for some reason, this makes me unspeakably happy.
2. brendon wears a cardigan
3. there is a happy ending
4. it was fucking hot.

now, the thing is, reason 4 is actually kind of awesome, because, for whatever reason, lately i've just become desensitized to stuff. maybe because after 5.5 years you kind of become immune. anyway, this is the first story i've read in a while where i was really affected by the sex. i think it's because you do such a good job of capturing the atmosphere of the situation, which you mostly accomplish by getting inside your characters' heads so well. it's little lines like Spencer needs to roll away, he needs to have stopped this five minutes ago, but he lets Brendon pull their bodies together, line their hips up that convey how helpless he is to stop what's going on.

anyway, there are more good things i could say, but i'm honestly a bit too lazy right now. in terms of concrit, there isn't much i can give you except to say that you could benefit from proofreading. there weren't any huge mistakes, but, as i'm sure my icon implies, i'm a stickler for grammar, and you had a few tense changes and mixed up words. nothing major, certainly nothing big enough to put me off reading it, but if you want to polish this at all for whatever reason, you should definitely proofread.

[disarm_d]

Chex (provetheworst) gets complete credit for Jon's use of lads. I had it in as kids, and she was all, no dude. Jon should say Lads. Which was the most awesome idea ever, so, five stars to Chex.

but if you want to polish this at all for whatever reason, you should definitely proofread.
Umm, I don't really know what to say except that I did proofread it several times, and I had two different betas look it over as well. Sorry if there were still mistakes, but yeah. There was definitely already an attempt at proofreading that occurred.

Thanks for reading.

[echoelf]

she should be commended.

and i'm sure you did proofread because there weren't any glaring mistakes, i just notice like. everything. but yeah. it was nothing major.

[disarm_d]

I commend her regularly. Have no fear!

[echoelf]

excellent!