If the shoe fits; Jaejoong/Changmin
If the shoe fits
2277 words. PG-13.
- DBSK; Jaejoong/Changmin
author onew
summary Jaejoong is fond of surprises, except the ones in which he foresees himself failing miserably and falling hard.
notes The ending of this fic actually came first. I was this close to scrapping the entire idea and the fic, but then I figured this could be some sort of a peace offering for not updating CLOVER in a long, long time, haha. Written for tvxqfic with this prompt in mind. Somewhat a B-side to this. For Jay, italic, Raven sunshineyes, Diane roselit and Steph theresalynne, if they want it. Special thanks to Mai hoyah and Bardo dubulove for the quick beta and pointing out my epic typos. xD
o1. Jaejoong is never prepared for anything. He likes acting on things spontaneously, like at any time a bomb might drop or he might slip and burst into laughter. He bumps into Changmin one day, and Changmin stops him from falling on his butt. Jaejoong swears Changmin might've pulled too hard at his shirt just to keep him from slipping, but-
"Um, thanks. I'm Jaejoong," Jaejoong says, extending his hand once he's already got his senses back. There's a smile on Changmin's lips, tentative and small. Jaejoong's not the type to be ignored and rejected, so he bows and turns around.
"Changmin. Shim Changmin."
Jaejoong is never prepared for anything, so he does the first thing that crosses his mind, looks over his shoulder, gives Changmin a toothy grin. "See you around."
o2. Jaejoong, for the life of him, cannot dance. He's got two left feet, and Yunho finds it demeaning to be Jaejoong's best friend. "Really, now, Jaejoong. Really?" Junsu just scratches the back of his head and gives Jaejoong a light pat on the shoulder, saying softly, "We'll try again later, hyung." Jaejoong slumps against the mirrors of the practice room.
"It's not that hard, hyung." Jaejoong hears a small voice and he finds Changmin standing in front of him. "I... can teach you. If you want, at least." Jaejoong's not sure if he's really seeing it, but Changmin looks as if he's smiling, albeit faintly. "I'm... not forcing you or anything or-"
"Help me up, will you?" Jaejoong's got a smile on his lips when he extends his hand to Changmin. When he's finally back on his feet, he takes a few steps back, then grabs Changmin by the wrist. "Show me how to do it, teacher!" Jaejoong feels Changmin's muscles tense up at his touch. When Jaejoong's already positioned himself at the center of the room, he lets go.
"And oh, never stand in front of me when I'm sitting down. You're too tall."
Jaejoong hears Changmin laugh for the first time.
o3. They're debuting today. Yunho's giving everyone reassuring pats. Yoochun's gripping the microphone tighter than the usual. Junsu's walking around in circles. Jaejoong's fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
"Hyung, are you okay?" Changmin asks shyly. Jaejoong nods lightly, hesitantly. An awkward silence envelops them for a while until Changmin says, "You're not alone, hyung. I'm nervous, too." There's this newfound confidence in Changmin, Jaejoong thinks, when Changmin slips his hand in Jaejoong's and he freezes. But then the warmth gives him another form of relief, somehow, so he doesn't let go until they have to go up on stage (which is ten minutes later).
(When they win their first award, Jaejoong kisses Changmin on the forehead like he would normally do to his cousins. Jaejoong briefly wonders if it works better this way because Changmin stops crying for a while. When Jaejoong pulls Changmin close for a hug, Changmin starts crying again, and he just laughs his heart out.
Jaejoong briefly wonders how it would feel kissing Changmin on the lips, instead, and the thought turns his smile into a grin. Then Changmin hits him on the arm. Hard.)
Jaejoong spends nights upon nights rehearsing in his mind how things would play out if he is given the chance to kiss Changmin on the lips. Sometimes, he tries imagining doing it to Yoochun (in which he realizes that it's tantamount to kissing himself), then Junsu (then he figures he's more inclined to grope Junsu's ass. Nothing new, really), or even Yunho (and at this point he'd be hitting his head with the hardbound version of the book about Korean constitution). Why he even tries planning it out or imagining it, even more with Changmin, is beyond him, but he still does it, nevertheless, sometimes too early in the morning while he prepares Yoochun's coffee or smack in the middle of the afternoon while he's composing something.
"Hyung, I was asking where you put the kimchi." Then he snaps out of his reverie, finds Changmin waving his hand in front of him. "You know, kimchi? The spicy thing we eat everyday? Oh come on. Don't tell me you don't know kimchi." He nods slowly, muttering, "Ref, third level, blue container."
"Thanks, hyung!" Changmin taps him lightly on the arm before he leaves, and Jaejoong follows the small smile on Changmin's lips with his eyes. When Jaejoong finds it hard to resist, he only bites his lip and hits himself with a hardbound book. Again.
o4. And so Jaejoong sets out on a mission - kiss Changmin one of these days and make it seem as if it's just an accident. Just so he could get it done and over with and he can have a peaceful sleep at night. They sneak out of the dorm one day while Yunho is sleeping. "Won't we get grounded for this?" Changmin asks as the view of their dorm becomes smaller and smaller and Jaejoong drives faster, the real purpose of the getaway beyond him. "Nah. Yunho won't even notice. He sleeps like a log," Jaejoong mumbles just before they turn around the corner. Changmin grumbles, saying something about delinquent elders and that Jaejoong looks silly with that devious smile on his lips.
Jaejoong pulls over near a bookstore. They slip in 'inconspicuously', with Changmin just walking into the store calmly and Jaejoong grabbing the first book he sees, covering his face with it. They walk to the far end of the shop. "The restricted section," Changmin says in his best Hermione Granger voice, to which Jaejoong reacts by slapping him hard on the arm.
"What are we doing here again?" Changmin asks as he looks at the titles of the books. "Well, educating ourselves," Jaejoong replies matter-of-factly. Changmin looks at him sternly.
"I can only see books that say 'How to sweep a girl of her feet with one kiss' around me."
"Exactly my point!"
"But I'm not a girl."
"Okay, that's not my point."
"So you're saying you're going to practice on me, a man, how to sweep this girl you've been fantasizing about every night off her feet with a kiss."
"Jesus... Changmin!" Exasperation is evident in Jaejoong's voice when he says this, burying his face in his hands. Jaejoong can hear Changmin's laughter and this makes him smile a little, but then he hides this when he hits Changmin on the arm repeatedly. A couple of seconds into Jaejoong's little tirade, Changmin grabs Jaejoong by the wrists, smiling.
"I'm not as incapacitated as you think I am, hyung," Changmin says before closing in on him, and Jaejoong freezes under Changmin when Changmin presses his lips on his. It's a pure and simple kiss, no tongue involved. Even with his lips trembling, Jaejoong can feel Changmin smiling; it worries him a bit. When Changmin pulls away, Jaejoong's expecting a horror-stricken look on Changmin's features. Instead, laughter greets him.
"At least you wouldn't have to pass it off as an accident anymore."
Jaejoong falls flat on his butt, on the floor.
And so it happens regularly, the sneaking-out-of-the-dorm-to-Lord-knows-where, the quick kisses in between breaks. Changmin figures that the only way to pacify Jaejoong when Jaejoong launches an all-out war against him (which means all-out slapping on the arm) is to kiss him, three seconds, sometimes five, quick enough to stun Jaejoong, not disarm.
Changmin figures it's the only way to steady his highly irregular heartbeat, too.
o5. It's their second time in Japan. It's amazing what three years can to do them. Yunho has become more of a worrywart. Yoochun has been smoking more packs than the usual. Junsu has undergone three to four major hair color changes (or maybe five). Changmin, meanwhile, has lost whatever innocence he once had.
Of course, that's not saying that Changmin has always displayed pure innocence, even back in the days when Changmin had not yet known how to retort to the teasing and bantering from the 'hyung' side of the group. It's more of Changmin being more bold with the hitting on the arm and the snarky retorts.
"Will you stop hitting me!" Jaejoong screams at the top of his lungs when Changmin hits him on his arm. Changmin just hits him all the more and they both fall on the floor. Luckily, Changmin's laptop is still alive and safe on the bed.
"You should not have done that!" Changmin says, pertaining to Jaejoong hacking Changmin's computer and revealing to the rest of the group that Changmin has a porn stash in his "SYSTEM32" folder. "Thank you for possibly stripping me of my dignity, hyung. Really." Changmin finally stops hitting Jaejoong and sits on the floor, pulling his knees close to his chest. "Great. Just great."
"Props for the folder name, though," Jaejoong says when he finally gets his senses back. "If it was Yunho, he'd probably name it 'Bambi's Little Pony and Friends' or something like that." Changmin rolls his eyes. Jaejoong bites back. "What? For all I know, you could've named it 'Entrance Exam Materials' or 'Heechul hyung's back up files - Top Secret'!"
"Thank God I'm so awesome and I don't come up with corny folder names."
"Except for that one folder named 'My Naked Photos'."
Changmin throws a pillow at Jaejoong and Jaejoong isn't able to duck, catches the pillow with his face. "Right. Nice folder name." Jaejoong attempts to leave before Changmin can react, but then Changmin promptly gets to his feet and pins Jaejoong on the floor. They bite their lower lip almost at the same time, and Jaejoong chuckles a bit. When Changmin finds it hard to hold back, he only ever goes for a light kiss.
"What are you-"
They've already done this before, but it's different because Changmin parts his lips a little, and Jaejoong's tempted so slip his tongue in. Just before he does, Changmin pulls away, which leaves Jaejoong on the floor, feeling a bit dejected. "Don't-" Changmin says, not finishing his sentence, but Jaejoong understands what it means. He just finds it weird that despite all the short kisses they've had, Changmin still resents this.
Changmin's getting ready to reposition himself in front of his laptop, but then Jaejoong wouldn't let on - he can't lose. Before Changmin gets back to what he's supposedly doing, Jaejoong pulls him back down and Jaejoong's lips crash into his, unceremonious, sloppy. Jaejoong catches Changmin unguarded, lips parted. This time, there's lip movement and tongue, unlike the kisses they used to share. "You kiss like a teenager," Changmin says in between giggles when Jaejoong pulls away. Jaejoong could ask Changmin how he knew, if he's already kissed teenagers before. Then it hits him.
Changmin never kisses and tells.
(And then there's Paris and China and Thailand and Malaysia, and a couple of countries they've never been to before. Things change when they come back to Japan for a third time, when a lawsuit takes place and they're instructed to break up into groups of three and two. There's a trace of apology in Yunho's eyes when the management 'breaks them up'. Changmin doesn't make eye contact with any of them.
And they go live in five minutes.)
It's been a while since they've shared one stage and breathed the same air. Ever since the start of the lawsuit, they never got to talk to each other, not even communicate over the internet or through SMS. When the staff aren't looking, Yunho finds his way to Yoochun and Junsu, enveloping both in a hug. Changmin maintains a fine distance from Jaejoong.
This is not how things are supposed to be.
They go live five minutes after, and return backstage right after the performance. They are given at least fifteen minutes to themselves, and Yoochun quickly escapes for a smoke. Junsu snuggles close to Yunho, and Jaejoong swears he can hear Junsu's voice breaking; he smiles a little.
The next thing he knows, Changmin's dragging him by his arm to the fire escape.
"This isn't the best place for pep talk or catching up, you know," Jaejoong says, laughing a little as he ends and his voice drifts off. Changmin looks away. When Jaejoong decides to continue, Changmin closes in on him, and the words get stuck in his throat.
"This is okay, right?" Changmin asks as his lips hover just a few centimeters from Jaejoong's. They're too close by normal standards, and they've become closer ever since Changmin started hitting him on the arm spontaneously, out of the blue. It's the first time in a long time that Jaejoong has heard this small voice. Changmin's twenty and older than them when it comes to thinking, but it's been too long since they've been in a situation like this. "I mean, I haven't kissed anyone. In a while. I'm... rather rusty at this..." There's a certain trace of uncertainty in his voice, and Jaejoong just laughs at it all.
Then Jaejoong lunges and presses his lips against Changmin's.
This feels foreign.
"Um, yeah," is all that Changmin is able to say when Jaejoong pulls back for a while. Jaejoong could push back all the the anxiety at the back of Changmin's teeth with his tongue, make Changmin forget about age gaps and lawsuits and company rules if Changmin could just part his lips slightly and let him. But then Changmin might not be so sold on the idea and he could just laugh sheepishly, all the regret coming to him so easily. Changmin would probably just walk away and never talk to him again, just like before debut, when they weren't friends yet hadn't known each other yet.
Except Changmin doesn't.