This is it.
I feel like my whole life has fallen apart. Christ. I know I bitched abotu them constantly, but they were the one thing that was fucking stable in my life and now that's gone to the shits as well. I was just enjoying my lunch when my Mum fucking talks to me,
"Hannah. I think it's about time that you knew this.... Me and you father have decided to split up."
What am I supposed to say to that? So I nodded and began to clean up my lunch. All I could think about what getting out of there. She asked me if I had any questions and I knew if I said anything I'd burst into tears, so I shook my head and went downstairs. I'm alone for about 5 minutes, so I go to check my cigarette packet. Fuck. Out of smokes. Have I mentioned that I'm suffering from a hangover after a hard night at The Beat? Anyway. No smokes to calm my nerves I turn to my gamecube. My mother comes down and stands at the door, asking if I want to talk about it and I just say no. I really don't want to. I'm left alone for a few minutes before she comes back, saying that she insists we behave like adults and talk about it. She gives me the start of the speech, saying that it's not my fault blah blah blah. Then she continues to tell me that things haven't been good because of all of the stress of the last two years. The stress that I've given them. I see. So you insist on talking to me, just to confirm my suspicions over the fact that's it's my fault. Cheers. Mum then continues.
"I suppose your angry at me. After all, this is just another interruption in your life. Are you angry at me?"
"No."
"You know, Hannah, it would be easier if we were just all honest with each other."
"I'm not angry at you."
"I'd prefer it if you just told the truth."
"For fucks sake, mum, I'm wasn't bloody angry with you but I'm starting to feel that way now. Leave me alone, please. I really don't want to talk to anyone about it."
Then my dad came along. And he thought I needed comforting too. I didn't meant to be rude but I started to get the feeling that my parents wanted me to break down and cry to make them feel better. I eventually did and I my dad walked in on me, and tried to hug me. My dad hasn't hugged me in years and it was the weirdest most uncomfortable feeling. And then he asked me if I wanted to talk about it and I said no again. All I could think is that I just wanted that day to be over. Fuck. I couldn't stop crying. I was playing Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem and my character's sanity was low so I had crying noises in the background all the time and they kept setting me off. So I turned it off and decided to go and play a movie or something. I really wanted to get out of the house but I had no where to go, I didn't want to talk to any of my friends about it and I couldn't imagine myself sitting there in a movie theatre crying on my own. That and I had no money, and I wasn't about to ask my parents for a lift. I went upstairs to pick the movie and I picked Lantana. It wasn't until the movie had started that I realised what a classy movie it was to pick out in front of my parents. For those of you who don't know, it's about collapsing marraiges. I ended up going to bed at about 7pm.