When It Comes to Acting Up, I'm Sure That I Could Write the Book
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." Darrin Weinberg
"I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle." Robert Benchley
"My favorite animal is steak." Fran Lebowitz
"If you aren't fired with enthusiam, you'll be fired with enthusiam." Vince Lombardi
"These are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others." Groucho Marx
"Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system." P.J. O'Rourke
"Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs." P.J. O'Rourke
"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other." Eric Hoffer
"As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." Albert Einstein
"It's hard to tell if a man is telling the truth when you know you would lie if you were in his place." H.L. Mencken
"I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolute nothing that you can learn out of one bloodshot eye." Lewis Black
"I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle." Robert Benchley
"My favorite animal is steak." Fran Lebowitz
"If you aren't fired with enthusiam, you'll be fired with enthusiam." Vince Lombardi
"These are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others." Groucho Marx
"Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system." P.J. O'Rourke
"Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs." P.J. O'Rourke
"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other." Eric Hoffer
"As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." Albert Einstein
"It's hard to tell if a man is telling the truth when you know you would lie if you were in his place." H.L. Mencken
"I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolute nothing that you can learn out of one bloodshot eye." Lewis Black