Excerpt Of My New Fic
So, this is just a short excerpt of a a new story I'm working on. I still don't have a title for it but it's just over a couple thousand words. I really wanna know whether or not I should continue with it or not. Please tell me what you think.
Obviously they had wanted time to prepare themselves for seeing Emily but the moment came sooner rather than later as the door was thrust open by two small little girls. The oldest looked to be about five while the other looked to be 2. Both children were dark haired but the oldest had sparkling green eyes and the youngest had familiar brown eyes.
“Hey,” JJ greeted, quickly bobbing down to their level but before she could say anything else a familiar voice was heard.
“Mariaelena! Alessandra! What have you been told about opening the door by yourselves?” the voice called anxiously. All three agents looked up from the little girls and towards the voice of their former colleague Emily Prentiss. She stood behind the girls, an intense look of anxiousness present on her features.
“Not too,” the oldest girl said, “I’m sorry Aunt Val’tina,” the little girl announced.
“It’s alright Mariaelena, just be glad your father didn’t find you and don’t do it again,” Emily told the little girl as she ran back into the house, leaving the other little girl standing shyly in front of Emily.
“Mama up!” the little girl exclaimed, reaching her arms above her heads. Emily quickly picked the little girl up, ignoring the surprised looks of her former team mates.
“What can I do for you?” she asked, avoiding the three agents’ gazes.
“Emily?” JJ whispered, not quite believing her eyes. “Is that really you?” she asked desperately. Emily wasn’t sure what to do but was saved from having to answer when Antonio came into the foyer. He had Romeo on his shoulders, holding his legs to keep him up. Upon seeing Emily and Alessandra he made his way over to them, talking to Romeo as he did so.
“See Romeo? I told you we would find Mama and Lessy,” he told the little boy, swinging him down from his shoulders. It was a moment later that he noticed the three agents standing just across the threshold and his face darkened.
“Who are you?” he spat out, his demeanor changing from carefree to guarded instantaneously. The three agents were taken aback at the sudden change but where quick to recover as Hotch pulled his badge out.
“SSA’s Hotchner, Jareau and Rossi,” he said, gesturing to the other two agents behind him. “We were wondering if Sal Delarenzo was in,” Hotch told them, glancing to his side at Rossi and JJ. Antonio didn’t look inclined to let them in but he couldn’t just shut the door in their faces so he handed Romeo to Emily and gestured for them to come in.
“Please come in, I’ll just get him for you,” he told them. Then turning to Emily he said, “Show them to the study Cara.”
Emily nodded dutifully, shifting Romeo onto her other hip as she showed them into the study.
“Make yourselves at home, Sal should be in soon,” Emily told them, gesturing to the pristine leather couches.
Okay, so this is obviously going to be AU but don't let that put you off. Um, if you have any suggestions for a title let me know.
Obviously they had wanted time to prepare themselves for seeing Emily but the moment came sooner rather than later as the door was thrust open by two small little girls. The oldest looked to be about five while the other looked to be 2. Both children were dark haired but the oldest had sparkling green eyes and the youngest had familiar brown eyes.
“Hey,” JJ greeted, quickly bobbing down to their level but before she could say anything else a familiar voice was heard.
“Mariaelena! Alessandra! What have you been told about opening the door by yourselves?” the voice called anxiously. All three agents looked up from the little girls and towards the voice of their former colleague Emily Prentiss. She stood behind the girls, an intense look of anxiousness present on her features.
“Not too,” the oldest girl said, “I’m sorry Aunt Val’tina,” the little girl announced.
“It’s alright Mariaelena, just be glad your father didn’t find you and don’t do it again,” Emily told the little girl as she ran back into the house, leaving the other little girl standing shyly in front of Emily.
“Mama up!” the little girl exclaimed, reaching her arms above her heads. Emily quickly picked the little girl up, ignoring the surprised looks of her former team mates.
“What can I do for you?” she asked, avoiding the three agents’ gazes.
“Emily?” JJ whispered, not quite believing her eyes. “Is that really you?” she asked desperately. Emily wasn’t sure what to do but was saved from having to answer when Antonio came into the foyer. He had Romeo on his shoulders, holding his legs to keep him up. Upon seeing Emily and Alessandra he made his way over to them, talking to Romeo as he did so.
“See Romeo? I told you we would find Mama and Lessy,” he told the little boy, swinging him down from his shoulders. It was a moment later that he noticed the three agents standing just across the threshold and his face darkened.
“Who are you?” he spat out, his demeanor changing from carefree to guarded instantaneously. The three agents were taken aback at the sudden change but where quick to recover as Hotch pulled his badge out.
“SSA’s Hotchner, Jareau and Rossi,” he said, gesturing to the other two agents behind him. “We were wondering if Sal Delarenzo was in,” Hotch told them, glancing to his side at Rossi and JJ. Antonio didn’t look inclined to let them in but he couldn’t just shut the door in their faces so he handed Romeo to Emily and gestured for them to come in.
“Please come in, I’ll just get him for you,” he told them. Then turning to Emily he said, “Show them to the study Cara.”
Emily nodded dutifully, shifting Romeo onto her other hip as she showed them into the study.
“Make yourselves at home, Sal should be in soon,” Emily told them, gesturing to the pristine leather couches.
Okay, so this is obviously going to be AU but don't let that put you off. Um, if you have any suggestions for a title let me know.